Arrange Marriage Essay

Arrange Marriage

            Houyhnhnms land is said to be a certain land wherein marrying or the process of marriage is based under their practice of race or culture. Choosing the appropriate person for their children to marry is based from certain distinctive characteristics which could never be altered by any reasons. These said characteristics includes colors which could give a sudden idea what kind of race a certain person is; choosing this characteristic is very important to them because they really don’t want other race to mix up with their own distinctive race (Swift).

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            On the Male’s side, the Houyhnhnms give a high preference to those males who are strong, they are valued than those other males who seem to appear as weak ones. In females, those who are usually decent, proper, and respectable are the usual females that they prefer. This race does not merely account how each of the couples feel about marrying each other and thus what’s important to them is for them to be able to preserve their race (Swift).

            The Houyhnhnms do not usually consider emotions or any way of expressing emotions when it comes to marriage, they just make two people of the same standard and appropriate preference meet and thus they are blessed as couple without the two people deciding about anything in their marriage. They are not given the privilege or even the chance to alter any decision that their elders do for them hence, they just tend to comply with every event of marriage that are set up by their families (Swift).

            Certain characters of a true and pure marriage are disregarded in the process of the Houyhnhnms’ marriage practice. Characteristics of true marriage such as giving gifts before marriage, feeling love for each other, both person agreeing about the marriage, courtship, and even the couples spending happy times together before getting married. This kind of practice shows that they do not merely marry people because they love them but because they are obliged to do and thus couples take this practice as an obligation or a must that they should follow (Swift).

            The Houyhnhnms view their practice as a necessary thing to do as a responsible and thus reasonable people and after these said couples are married, they will do the same practice to their children and build the same practice of friendship to any person in the race that they could have friends with and so forth their children too, will get married on the appropriate time hence this practice established the race with a contented and unenvied race character (Swift).

            This kind of practice towards marrying is still and currently implemented by some of the other races in the world; one of these said races is the Indians or those who live in India. Such marriage in India are considered as a marriage of two distinct families combined or joined together rather than considering it as a marriage of two different people who loves each other (Kamat).

            The Parents of each side manages to establish a strong bond or relationship with their friends through arranging the marriage of both of their children. During the early periods, children of both sides are being married during their teenage years so that they would not have to make their own decision once they are at the right age and sometime even relatives are being married in which they call the rightful marriage wherein the wealth of the family will be preserved only for the family themselves instead of marrying other people out of the family and loosing a portion of their wealth (Kamat).

            In the process of the Indian fixed or arranged marriage, there are lots of certain environmental influences that could affect it such as if “a friend promised you that his or her child will soon marry your child” because he or she lost while both of you were gambling. Another factor that could cause the Indian marriage is when “the father of the male’s family wanted you as a bride for his son”. Indian people also consider certain matters in search for an appropriate bride or groom for their child; first is the horoscope matching wherein their children’s horoscope should be matched too so that they would be allowed to get married, they also do photo exchanging and thus an interview and a background check of their partner’s family (Kamat).

            Another country that practices fixed or arranged marriage in this period time is the country of Japan. Traditionally, arranged marriage is a must and also a part of the country’s culture but now arranged marriage in this country is said to be low at the rate of 30%. The Japanese arranged marriage is known for the term Omiai which is basically arranged and mediated by someone, considered as bridge to establish a good relationship between two people, called nakodo (House).

            Beforehand, the Nakodo are being paid by the fixed couple’s parents in order to be a middle-man. A nakodo’s task is to judge or consider the best person which could suit the best average of their child compatibility with his or her partner which includes the providing of certain information regarding the other family’s social status, economic status, academic or educational achievements and all other family background information in order to make the decision whether or not the paired future couples are indeed a good match to each other (House).

            The nakodo tends to evaluate such information that he had gathered and after that, he will therefore give his opinion whether the couple is a good match; if it is said to be a good match of couple, then the two different people from each family side will ten meet on the first time wherein parents are expected to participate then after that, on the second time of the fixed couple’s meeting, they will then go out for the second or third time and thus they will be the one to decide if they do wanted to continue their wedding or not (House).

            In Japanese marriage, even if it is said to be arranged, it is important for them that there should be love involved before ever getting married. The only purpose of fixed or arranged marriage for them therefore is to help them choose who to marry because basically, Japanese are believed as a busy type of person regarding work or businesses and therefore they only do the practice of arrange marriage in order for them to easily chose a certain partner who will be a good match for them (House).

            It is not unlike in the other countries that Japan are still practicing arranged marriage for the purpose of keeping their race or keeping their money inside the family but for the purpose of obtaining help from other people in order to meet a good partner and thus eventually feel love for that partner that they will choose to marry with.

            Just like in India and Japan, arranged marriage is also part of Korea’s culture and traditions. Just like in Japan, Korea has a matchmaker which is an evidence that Korea still practices arrange marriage but they accounted only half of the country’s marrying percentage unlike the old times wherein arranged marriage in Korea is also considered as a must or an obligation towards one’s family (“Korean Wedding Traditions”).

            Just like in Japan, matchmakers are the one that searches for a certain person that will match the person who the matchmaker is working with. Certain information on the background such as economic, social status and family background are also checked and thus placed in the prospect’s resume. In today’s Korean arranged marriage, the set future couples are allowed to go out alone and thus talk lots of things about themselves more than what is usually allowed (“Korean Wedding Traditions”).

            Families of the females value their names so much which leads Koreans not to allow the female’s surname even after getting married. This is to preserve the name of their family which they considered precious. Today most marriage in Korea are for the reason that the couples love each other hence, if the parents of the female or the male disagrees with their relationship, the young couples could not have any other alternative but to obey their parents and thus marry whom ever their parents asks for them to marry (“Korean Wedding Traditions”).

            Korea has an appropriate age to get married, they consider the ages 28 until 30 for a certain Korean man to be allowed to get married and ages 25 until 28 on females to get married. Korean arranged marriage does not also consider marriage neither just to preserve their race nor to preserve their family’s wealth. If a certain Korean girl loves another Korean man, as long as the man’s background is acceptable or something which is considered as respectful, parents tend not to get on the way to stop the marriage but if the man’s background is not good and the parents do not like him as well, then there will be no marriage between the couples. Arranged marriage in Korea in this present period is said to be better than that of the traditional times because basically arrange marriage in this present period allows the individuals to pick their own choice of groom and bride but often parents are still the one who provides them several choices (“Korean Wedding Traditions”).

            The countries such as India, Japan, and Korea have their own distinct differences from each other and from the marriage practice of Houyhnhnms. Basically, India has the same practice as the Houyhnhnms which practice is to make their child marry a certain child even without love involved. On the other hand, Japan and Korea have lots of similarities in arrange marriage practice such as having a middle man to choose who is appropriate to marry and also both Japan and Korea consider emotions such as expression of love before ever deciding to continue their arranged marriage.

Works Cited

House, Professor’s. “Arranged Marriages in Japan.”  (2007). December 2 <http://www.professorshouse.com/family/relationships/arranged-marriages-japan.aspx>.

Kamat, Vikas. “India’s Arranged Marriages.”  (2007). December 2 <http://www.kamat.com/indica/culture/sub-cultures/arranged_marriage.htm>.

“Korean Wedding Traditions.”  (2007). December 2 <http://www.weddingdetails.com/lore/korean.cfm>.

Swift, Jonathan. Gullivers Travels. Addison-Wesley Longman, 2000.

 

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