As Alfred E. Neuman Would Say, “Bleech!” Essay

As the Doomsday Clock counts down the days until the film version of Solomon Kane stumbles on to big screens worldwide, I pause to reflect on this new promotional poster - As Alfred E. Neuman Would Say, “Bleech!” Essay introduction.  While a slight improvement over the first poster which had Kane wielding an eight foot broadsword that weighed more than he did, I’m still perturbed by his accouterments.  First the ammunition belt.  What does it hold? IEDs? Holy water, Evian water?  Did such belts even exist during Kane’s time? Doubtful.  Then there is the sidearm, which appears to be a cross between a blunderbuss and an AK-47, not to mention two swords he’s toting. There is also a character named “Reaper” listed over at the IMDB site for this film.  Oh joy, I can hardly wait to see his poster.

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