Compare and contrast views - Family Essay Example
Growing up in a typical American family enabled me to believe in and live with the values and virtues in accordance to the Bible - Compare and contrast views introduction. However, I did not grow up in a typical “nuclear family consisting of a husband, a wife, and their offspring” (Human Development, p. 486). The rate of persons living alone is escalating (Human Development, p. 501) and my Mom belongs to that population. I was raised by her, a single parent.
Erickson’s psychosocial theory says that the family is the basis of healthy relationships for children to achieve purpose and direction (cited in Chapman, 2006). In my case, it was my mother who was my family, to whom I maintained a healthy relationship with. Contrary to what some studies say that children who grow up in single-parents’ home are more likely to be juvenile and ruthless (Human Development, p. 502), I did not grow to be rebellious. But I developed resentment towards my father because my Mom was left to work on her own, even though the Bible says the man is the bread winner. This is why I came to believe as a young woman that it was necessary, acceptable, and good for women to be independent. My mother’s time was too little to cover her work, her personal needs, as well as mine (Human Development, p. 501). Studies show that none of professional women are successful in balancing work, family, and well-being (Human Development, p. 478), but my mom tried hard to do that. So with that kind of parenting, she needed my understanding and help. She viewed her career not just as an insurance against a bad marriage (Human Development, p. 479) but because she needed to provide for us. Seeing her caught up in such a difficult situation was my major personal distress as I was growing up (Zucker, Ostrove, and Stewart, p. 237).
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According to Erickson, an adolescent’s main concern is identity development (Zucker, Ostrove, and Stewart, p. 236). One faces love and affiliation crises as he/she transitions to be a young adult (cited in Chapman, 2006). Even though I grew up in a broken family, I still believe in love and in the sanctity of marriage. I denounce everything that disrespects this sacred bond. Perhaps my parents’ relationship was one of a romantic love, a relationship with intimacy and passion but lacked commitment, since their relationship didn’t last over an extended period of time and under adverse conditions (Human Development, p. 477). Marriage for me, then and up to now that I have my own family, is not trial-and-error like what cohabiting couples think. Living under the same roof without marriage is a serious offense to the law of the Church. If one is to enter marriage, he/she should be ready in all aspects. Unlike “unmarried marrieds,” excuses like changes and pressures in the marriage, waiting for perfect time, and wanting to stay single should not be given. Living together as an alternative to marriage is totally different from marriage (Human Development, p. 487).
I believed in the virtues of fidelity and devotion as I was growing up. Now that I have sorted through my experiences in childhood and adolescence, I developed a strong sense of commitment (Zucker, Ostrove, and Stewart, p. 236) towards being the primary caregiver of my family. Parenting children is not only the most important job of all (Human Development, p. 504) but the most difficult one as well. Homemaking and childrearing are never easy tasks, that is why my husband helps a lot with the boys.
It is not true that females heading a single-parent home have “lower self-esteem and lower sense of effectiveness” (Human Development, p. 502). If my Mom did not believe in herself and if she were ineffective, then she would not have provided for all our needs and I would not have been the God-fearing and loving mother that I am. Her persistence and perseverance made me persist and persevere to be responsible with my own family.
Today, I do not fear aging, like what studies of women my age say (Zucker, Ostrove, and Stewart, p. 242). This is because I have already established my identity (Zucker, Ostrove, and Stewart, p. 240) as a mother and this continues to grow and strengthen as psychosocial distresses minimize (Zucker, Ostrove, and Stewart, p. 237) and as I find more meaning in my life.
Chapman, A. (2006). Erickson’s psychosocial theory – summary diagram. Erickson’s
Psychosocial Development Theory. Retrieved October 2, 2007 from
Human Development Textbook
Zucker, A.Z., Ostrove, J.M., and Stewart, A.J. (2002). College-educated women’s
personality development in adulthood: Perceptions and age differences. Psychology
and Aging, 17, 236-244.