Compliments essay - Gender Essay Example

Every day we deal with different people, handle various situations, and solve difficult problems - Compliments essay introduction. And all that requires appropriate behavior of ours. And that is why it’s vital that we pay much attention to the behavior, be it our own or somebody others. Sometimes it happens that if you take notice of the other people’s mistakes, it helps you avoid you very own ones. So the study of social psychology helped me with that a great deal. Thanks to it, I learned how important that is to see and fixate the behavior of different people, try to find the reasons for that behavior and, moreover, draw valuable conclusions from the situations. Plus, if you start observing others, you get better at seeing yourself from the side and learning to control my own actions. I also discovered that one of the key moments of being able to ‘judge’ people and try to understand the way they behave is to be free of any kind of bias. Prejudice is a big and destructive force that not only keeps you from making a right conclusion, but, overall, makes all your investigation in chosen field just a waste of time, breath and all the efforts of any kind.

This time I tried to focus my attention on my two female friends, Laura and Jessica. Both of them are attractive girls and they are very aware of that fact. They’re not married, yet they have boyfriends, who, in their turn, have a lot of serious rivals. The reason why I chose those girls to be the object of my observations is that they both are very bright and interesting personalities and always are in the spotlight. But what draw my attention like a magnet to those two girls? That is very interesting. Both Jessica and Laura love, as every single woman, compliments. They require compliments from their boyfriends almost every 5 minutes. That is, partly, the fault of the latter, because they kind of spoilt the girls themselves with the enormous amount of attention. And attention is sometimes like a drug. If you don’t get enough of it, you feel bad and incomplete. So women, if they don’t get any/enough compliments, do their best to draw them out. I noticed how both girls tend to beg around for compliments without letting their partners realize that. They, for instance, say: “Honey, don’t you think this skirt is too short (blouse too open; dress too tight)”. Instead of the direct answer to the given question, they hear that they look great and after having heard a magnificent compliment, they try to look as innocent as a little baby, because, obviously, they didn’t mean to ask for the compliment. Sometimes they use not that much ‘evil’ schemes. They only ask if they don’t look bad or if their hair is OK etc. And here is one more curios thing about that. They only ask those things if they are a hundred per cent sure they look as stunning as they only can. Sly, one would say. No! Feminine!

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The official study of the phenomenon of making and receiving the compliments suggested that women received more compliments than men, that women gave more compliments than men, and that women of higher status received more compliments than men of higher status (1).  And that is not only because women are addicted to them, but also that they realize how stimulating a compliment may be. Sometimes, they want to hear a compliment back, but sometimes it is a pure display of friendliness and admiration. Also, as Janet Holmes noticed in her book Women, Men and Politeness, women’s linguistic behavior can be characterized as more polite than men’s. She as well points out that women focus on affective or social function of talk, whereas men stress the referential function of language (2). So, we may conclude that women are more affectionate, friendly and aware than men. I’m not trying to say that men overall are bad abd impolite creatures, but it would help a great deal if they just a little followed the pattern of women’s behavior. It would help them get along better in their lives, tell women what they want to hear and avoid pouted lips or bitter tears of the latter. Women, in their turn, should try to understand why their partners don’t give them as much attention as they want and require. It’s not that men are bad, unemotional or not caring; it’s just that their brains work in a different way. And the fact, that they don’t pay us compliments doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate us trying to look absolutely fabulous. They might just worry that we can realize that we are too good for them and deserve someone better than the one who is already with us.

If I were to prolong my investigation on the given topic and take it to the next step, I would concentrate on a big group of females. I already know how women act around men if they need compliments, now I just would brush up my knowledge in female-only zone. I think it would be interesting. I also guess that I might find something interesting and important for me and that I could use it in my future tactic.

All my observations and investigations on the given theme have proved to me the importance of giving and receiving the compliments. They have a big supportive, stimulating and mood-improving role in our lives. They encourage us to look a lot better than we do, give us faith in the fact that our good looks or deeds are being noticed and appreciated and simply make us feel right and comlete. So let’s be polite to each other. Let’s make difference in this world. And, in the end, I want to thank you for taking your time and giving my work a deep and a profound look. It is very kind of you. Thank you for taking a minute and reading it. And thank you for that charming smile that has just appeared on your face. Let it shine and keep you warm throughtout the whole day!

References

Bolton, S. (1994) Influence of Gender on Compliment Exchange in American English.    London: Palgrave.

Holmes J. (1997) Women, Men and Politeness. London: Longman.

 

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