No matter how hard you try, you cannot control your emotions, only attempt to hide them. Emotions influence every aspect of our lives, what we do, what we say, and et cetera. All of our emotions, from anger to insecurity, are influenced by several factors, just as our lives are influenced by our emotions (Gelinas, Emotions 35).
First of all, it causes problems when one does not trust himself, and it shows up in many ways. Some people brag to call attention to themselves, causing others to believe that the egoistic person has a lot of self-respect. Very often though, egotism can be an attempt to cover up insecurity in a person who does not feel they will be good enough without it (Gelinas, Emotions 36). Bragging about one’s achievements, material possessions, or achievements reveals a sense of inferiority. Even though one may brag their whole lives, they never reach a sense of well being. This is caused by fixation, which is when a person does not grow emotionally after a certain point (Gelinas, Emotions 64). A person that brags a great deal may also be considered a snob. A snob may not act as a braggart for the same reasons egoistic people do, for what snobs do is act so that they end up isolating themselves. They do this to avoid the trouble of friends, responsibilities, and emotional relationships by giving a snobbish attitude to the people who put up with these things (Gelinas, Emotions 45). Another sign of insecurity is envy. One often envies another to hide a lack of trust in themselves. They envy others accomplishments because they don’t think they themselves can achieve those accomplishments (Milios 39).
Many factors influence anger. Most anger is caused by a situation that makes one feel uncomfortable (Licata 14). This uncomfortable feeling could also be described as feeling threatened. Feeling threatened could lead to angry feelings because a threat can cause harm. Things that could make one feel threatened include disapproval, betrayal, deprivation, exploitation, manipulation, frustration, violence, and humiliation (Gaylin 95). One has their own ways of handling anger, most of which are unhealthy. Denial is one way of handling anger by using self-deception. In denial, one does not allow themselves to register a feeling that is threatening in one way or another (Gaylin 96). Bigotry is another way of handling anger. “A person that is prone to anger must create an object to be angry at. Therefore, the object of the anger is not the cause of the bigot’s pain, but the solution” (Gaylin 114).
Anger can sometimes turn into hate. Some different terms for hate could be annoyance, irritation, hostility, or maliciousness. Some of the “symptoms” of hate include wanting to hurt, humiliate, damage, destroy, threaten, and wanting to seek revenge on someone. Some people try to justify their actions by having the motive of wanting to destroy to rebuild on a stronger foundation (Gelinas, Anger 12). There are five distinguishable kinds of hate: incipient, inward, explosive, deflected, and constructed. Incipient hate is a dislike that causes one to take action against the frustration that caused it. Inward hate is also caused by frustration, but is kept inside because of the fear of punishment from the world if they are to express their anger. Explosive hate usually bursts forth with out warning. This kind of hate could be a product of holding in too much inward hate. Deflected hate is when one imagines one object as another so they can express their hate without hurting the original object. Constructive hate is a positive hate. This is when one feels so strongly about something, it causes them to direct their hate at fighting the injustices (Gelinas, Anger 14).
There are three ways to deal with difficult situations. One can face their problems, one can change them for the better, or one can try to escape from them. Daydreaming can be an escape from reality because the person creates a different world; therefore, frequent daydreaming encourages turning away from reality (Gelinas, Emotions 42). Religion can also be used as an escape from problems. Even if they don’t mean to, a person can blame God for the problems in their life, rather than doing something for them (Gelinas, Emotions 47). Running away is often used as an escape from one’s responsibilities, but more often an escape from one’s troubles. Marriage, when used as an escape from bad circumstances, generally leads to even more unhappiness. Anyone who can provide for the desperate person would be accepted. However, the desperate person usually ends up hating the provider because they feel they are trapped (Gelinas, Emotions 46). Some people try to deceive reality by not taking anything seriously. They feel they are too good to feel sad, so they constantly act happy to avoid have emotional responsibilities such as relationships (Gelinas 45).
In conclusion, many things can influence our emotions. Emotional problems can be revealed in the way one acts, even though acting a certain way is often used to camouflage a problem.