Heaven preserve the society from the Greeks

Far in the south-eastern corner of Europe, lives a species like no other - Heaven preserve the society from the Greeks introduction. Dating back thousands of years, the Greek is one of the most bizarre and truly unique creatures this world has ever seen…

These remarkable beings may be spotted in large packs consisting of parents, elders, and cubs; kinfolk of all shapes and sizes. The best time to catch a glimpse of these large, boisterous gatherings is at meal time when the whole group sits around a fire, feasting on their favourite prey: lamb. Feeding time is the most social of events where fodder is shared amongst each other and is where the most yapping takes place. Eating may be the Greek’s favourite activity, however these meetings will very often result in ritual dances where the Greeks form a linked ring with their arms and kick their legs to the rhythm of the music. A call often voiced during these social proceedings is “OPA!” where a Greek will thrust it’s arms frantically in the air, bellowing this magnificent sound, expressing its great delight.

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Each member within the pack has it’s own distinct characteristics. The mothers are very affectionate towards their young but have a tendency to be very possessive of them, even after they’ve become fully fledged adults. They are also extremely clean, keeping their dens spotless at all times. Not to mention the mouth watering, steaming hot meals they lovingly prepare for the entire pack, something that no other species can match.

The alpha males however, turn out to be extremely different from their mates. They tend to spend a lot more time hanging out at the waterhole with other males of their kind, puffing smoke and engaging in drinking activities. They may be identified by their usually bald heads, furry upper lips and bulging, overfed bellies. Another key trait of these males is their strong-minded nature and expectation to always be the dominant members.

Moving on to the cubs-they are expected to obey their parents and look out for fellow members within the pack at all times. The females are distinguished by the big, well groomed furr on their heads, extravagant coats and well kept figures. They seem to be more attached to the alpha males in the family and have adapted special skills to convince them to grant their every demand. Once the females become adults, they are expected to find a lifelong Greek mate and breed.

The male cubs of the species are the more vicious of their kind. They can easily become aggressive if tampered with and like to play the “cool” ones of the pack. They are nocturnal; they spend most of the day hibernating in their lairs and emerge at night to socialize with their companions and hunt down female cubs. These males are extremely fond of their mothers and most tend to spend about 20-25 years living under their care until it is time to find a greek female mate and move out into the wild.

If one were to approach the Greeks, one would notice that these creatures are infact very friendly. They will openly accept other species into their dens and invite them to feast together. When having a meal with a group of greeks, it would be considered polite to wait until the head of the pack begins eating before you start. You are also expected to finish all of the food offered to you and asking for seconds pleases them greatly.

One would also observe their somewhat peculiar habits. When greeting each other, close friends within the pack will often kiss each other on the cheek and the males habitually slap each other’s arm at the shoulder. In some cases, they will spit on each other uttering “Ptou-sou” which they believe keeps bad spirits away. The manner in which these creatures communicate, would be something very amusing to any visitor; they have a habit of moving their entire bodies, making big, flapping-like gestures with their arms whilst yapping a series of earsplitting shrieks and grunts.

In conclusion, the Greeks are some of the most bewildering, yet fascinating beings in the animal kingdom and their behaviour is exceptionally unique to that of other animals. They are loud, cheerful, outgoing creatures that will be sure to entertain you in every way possible and make you want to get up and scream: OPA!

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