Interpersonal communication questions Essay
In the language deprivation experiment young infants were raised without human interaction in an attempt to determine if there was a natural language that they might demonstrate once their voices matured. It is claimed he was seeking to discover what language would have been imparted unto Adam and Eve by God. 2. Why do we communicate: Physically: It helps build our immune system and our life span. Identity: It helps us mold who we are as a person.
Our mental capacity and ability to interact with other people.
Social: It creates satisfaction through pleasure, affection, companionship, escape, relaxation and control. Practical: Goes with Instrumental goals (Getting others to behave in the way we want them too). Examples would be: Hairdresser cutting your hair the style you want it. 3. Linear vs.. Transactional Linear: which depicts communication as something a sender “does to” a receiver. Transactional: reflects the fact that people send and receive messages simultaneously and not in a unidirectional or back-and-forth manner, as suggested by the linear model.
Content and relational types Of communication: 5/6. Quantitative vs. Qualitative- Quantitative: any interaction between two people usually face to face. Social scientists call two people interacting a dyad , and they often use the adjective dyadic to describe this type of communication. So, in a quantitative sense, the terms dyadic communication and interpersonal communication can be used interchangeably. Using a quantitative definition, a salesclerk and customer or a police officer ticketing a speeding driver would be examples of interpersonal acts, whereas a preacher and class or a performer and audience would not.
Qualitative: when people treat one another as unique individuals, regardless of the context in which the interaction occurs or the number of people involved. When quality of interaction is the criterion, the opposite of interpersonal communication is impersonal communication, not group, public, or mass communication. 7. Mediated Interpersonal Communication Media channels provide many other ways to interact. Instant messaging, emailing blobbing, Twittering, and participating on social networking websites like Faceable and Namespace are some of the many ways that acquaintances-?and strangers-?can communicate through mediated channels.
Research suggests that the difference between face-to-face and virtual relationships is eroding. 8. Communication competence: – The ability to choose a communication behavior that is both appropriate and effective for a given situation. Interpersonal competency allows one to achieve their communication goals without causing the other party to lose face. The model most often used to describe competence is the includes three components: 1) knowledge, 2) skill, and 3) motivation. Knowledge simply means knowing what behavior is best suited for a given situation.
Skill is having the ability to apply that behavior in the given context. Motivation is having the desire to communicate in a competent manner. 9. Competent communicator behaviors: Effective communicators are able to choose their actions from a wide range of behaviors. To understand the importance of having a large communication repertoire, imagine that someone you know repeatedly tells jokes-? perhaps racist or sexist ones-?that you find offensive. You could respond to these jokes in a number of ways: ; You could decide to say nothing, figuring that the risks of bringing the subject up would be greater than the benefits. You could ask a third party to say something to the joke teller about the offensiveness of the jokes. ; You could hint at your discomfort, hoping your friend would get the point. ; You could joke about your friend’s insensitivity, counting on humor to soften the blow of your criticism. ; You could express your discomfort in a straightforward way, asking your friend to stop telling the offensive jokes, at least around you. ; You could even demand that your friend stop. 10. Cognitive complexity Social scientists use the term cognitive complexity to describe the ability to construct a variety of frameworks for viewing an issue.
To understand how cognitive complexity can increase competence, imagine that a longtime friend seems to be angry with you. One possible explanation is that your friend is offended by something you’ve done. Another possibility is that something has happened in another part of your friend’s life that is upsetting. Or perhaps nothing at all is wrong, and you’re just being overly sensitive. Considering the issue from several angles might prevent you from overreacting or misunderstanding the situation, increasing the odds of finding a way to resolve the problem constructively. 1 1. Self-monitoring
The process of paying close attention to one’s behavior and using these observations to shape the way one behaves. Self-monitors are able to separate a part of their consciousness and observe their behavior from a detached viewpoint, making observations 12. Commitment -The first is commitment to the other person . Concern for the other person is revealed in a variety of ways: a desire to spend time with him or her instead of rushing, a willingness to listen carefully instead of doing all the talking, the use of language that makes sense to the other person, and openness to change after hearing the other person’s ideas.
Effective incubators also care about the message. Rather, it’s a state that we achieve more or less frequently. A realistic goal, then, is not to become perfect but rather to boost the percentage of time when you communicate in ways outlined in this section. 13. Adair Muse and communication competence – Adair Muse grew up in South Central LA but went to school out in Northerner. Her study showed that when someone is put in a different location with a set of rules, they can break old habits. Chapter 2 Review 1 . How is the self-concept defined?
The relatively stable set of perceptions you hold profusely (who you think you are). . How does the self-concept develop? With his or her self-esteem. This would be determined by how he or she felt about their own qualities and traits. 3. Ego- boosters/Ego busters. Ego Boosters- who helped enhances your self-esteem by acting in a way that made you feel accepted, competent, worthwhile, important, appreciated, or loved. Ego Buster- Someone who acted in a large or small way to reduce your self- esteem. As with ego-booster messages, ego-buster messages aren’t always intentional.
The acquaintance who forgets your name after you’ve been introduced or the friend who yawns while you’re describing an important robber can diminish your feelings of self-worth. 4. Reflected appraisal/significant others Reflected appraisal- the fact that each of us develops a self-concept that reflects the way we believe others sees us. In other words, we are likely to feel less valuable, lovable, and capable to the degree that others have communicated ego busting signals; and we will probably feel good about ourselves to the degree that others affirm our value.
Significant others-?People whose opinions we especially value. Family members are the most obvious type of significant other, and their ego busters can be articulacy hurtful as a result. Others, though, can also be significant others: a special friend, a teacher, or perhaps an acquaintance whose opinion you value can leave an imprint on how you view yourself. 5. Social comparison/ reference groups Social comparison – evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others. Two types of social comparison need highlighting. In the first, we decide whether we are superior or inferior by comparing ourselves to others.
Are We attractive or ugly, SUCceSS or failures, intelligent or stupid? It depends on those against whom we measure ourselves. For instance, research shows hat young women who regularly compare themselves with ultra-thin media models develop negative appraisals of their own bodies. In one study, young women’s perceptions of their bodies changed for the worse after watching just thirty minutes of televised images of the “ideal” female form. Men, too, who compare themselves to media- idealized male physiques, evaluate their bodies negatively.
Even popular TV makeover shows-?with their underlying message of “you must improve your lead viewers to feel worse about themselves. 6. Characteristics of self-concept. Distorted feedback: Overly critical parents are one of the most common asses of a negative self-image. In other cases the remarks of cruel friends, uncaring teachers, excessively demanding employers, or even memorable strangers can have a lasting effect. Obsolete information: The effects of past failures in school or social relations can linger long after they have occurred, even though such events don’t predict failure in the future.
Perfection- which is common in our society. From the time most of us learn to understand language, we are exposed to models who appear to be perfect. Children’s stories and advertisements imply that the way to be a hero, the way to be eked and admired, is to show no flaws. Social expectations 7. High self-esteem. – people who have a lot Of self worth, who make a lot Of friends, who feel good about themselves and have a lot of confidence. 8. Low self-esteem. -Opposite of high self esteem 9. Cognitive conservatism. This tendency toward cognitive conservatism leads us to seek out people who support our self-concept.
For example, both college students and married couples with high self-esteem seek out partners who view them favorably, whereas those with negative self-esteem are more inclined to interact with people who view them unfavorable. It appears that we are less concerned with learning the “truth” about ourselves than with reinforcing a familiar self- concept. 10. Influences on identity: culture and gender. Culture- Many cultures vary. In western society we have a very strong “l” self. We believe in being outgoing, demonstrative, self-involved.
But in other countries, Asia for example, believes in the total opposite. Most Asian cultures create their identity from the area they originated from and mainly are very quiet and shy. Gender- Plays a BIG role in self. At birth, we view gender as the Way in which We talk to that child. With boys, comments Often focus On size, strength, and activity; comments about girls more often address beauty, sweetness, and facial responsiveness. It’s not surprising that these messages shape a child’s sense of identity and how he or she will communicate.
The implicit message is that some ways of behaving are masculine and others feminine. Little girls, for example, are more likely to be reinforced for acting “sweet” than are little boys. The same principle operates in adulthood: A man who stands up for his beliefs might get approval for being “tough” or “persistent,” whereas a woman who behaves in the same way could be scribed by critics as a “nag” or “pitch. ” Its not hard to see how the gender roles and labels like these can have a profound effect on how men and women view themselves and on how they communicate. 1 . Self-fulfilling prophecies: self-imposed vs.. “other” imposed. Self-imposed prophecies- occurs when your own expectations influence your behavior. In sports you’ve probably psyched you resell into playing either better or worse than usual, so that the only explanation for your unusual performance was your attitude. Other- Other people who reinforce negative or positive feed back towards your self-fulfilling prophecy. Ex- If a teacher tells me that I am a great student, will believe that I am a great student and start working harder in class. 12.
Pygmalion in the classroom Was demonstrated by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson in a study they described in their book “Pygmalion in the Classroom”. In the study, the teacher was informed that 20% of the student base was smarter than the other. After finding out who these students were, the study showed that after 8 months, these students showed a significant increase in their IQ. In other words, the selected children did better-?not because they were any more intelligent than their classmates, but because their teachers held higher expectations for them and treated them accordingly. 3. How do we change self-concept? Create realistic expectations: Don’t compare yourself to others attributes and expectations. Do the best that you can and recognize that you have more self worth than you think. Have the will to change: Often we say we want to change but don’t put in the effort or time too. We often maintain a unrealistic self concept by claiming that we can’t be the person we wish to be. However, our problem is that we are lazy and don’t have the desire to put in the hard work. Have the skills to change: 1 .
Seek advice -?from books,from instructors, counselors, and other experts, as well as friends. Of course, not all of the advice you receive will be useful, but if you read widely and talk to enough people, you have a good chance of learning new things about yourself. 2. Observe models -?people who handle themselves in the ways you would like to master. It’s often been said that people learn more from models than in any other way, and by taking advantage of this principle you will find that the world is full of teachers who can show you how to communicate more successfully.
Become a careful observer. Watch what people you admire do and say, not so thou can copy them, but so that you can adapt their behavior to fit your own personal style. 14. How do we eliminate the “cants ‘Q Do a 5 minutes or so exercise and take turns making and listing statements that begin with “I can’t .. Try to focus your statements on your relationships with family, friends, coworkers, students, and even strangers: anyone with whom you have a hard time communicating. Now repeat aloud each statement you’ve just made, except this time change each “can’t” to a ‘Won’t. After each sentence, tell your partner whatever thoughts you have about hat you’ve just said. After you’ve finished, decide whether “can’t” or “won’t” is more appropriate for each item, and explain your choice to your partner. Are there any instances of the self-fulfilling prophecy in your list-?times when your decision thou “can’t” do something was the only force keeping you from doing it? 15. Perceived self versus the presenting self. Perceived self- a reflection Of the self-concept. Your perceived self is the person you believe yourself to be in moments of honest self-examination.
We can call the perceived self “private,” because you are unlikely to reveal all of it o another person. Presenting self – is a public image-?the way we want others to view us. The presenting self is sometimes called one’s face. In most cases the presenting self that we seek to create is a socially approved image: diligent student, loving partner, conscientious worker, loyal friend, and so on. Social norms often create a gap between the perceived and presenting selves. 16. Identity management. We create multiple identities on a daily basis (Friendly neighbor, good student, successful son).
We look at others and dictate how they perceive us or how we should act when we are around them. CHAPTER 7 . Mindless vs.. Mindful listening Mindless listening occurs when we react to others’ messages automatically and routinely, without much mental investment. Words like “superficial” and “cursory” describe mindless listening better than terms like “ponder” and “contemplate. ” While the term mindless may sound negative, this sort of low- level information processing is a potentially valuable type of communication, because it frees us to focus our minds on messages that require our careful attention.
Mindful listening involves giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive. You tend to listen mindfully when a message is important to you, and also when someone you care about is speaking about a matter that is important to him or her. 3. Elements in Listening a. Hearing- hearing is the physiological dimension of listening. It occurs when sound waves strike the ear at a certain frequency and loudness. Hearing is influenced by a variety of factors, including background noise. B. Attending- we filter out some messages and focus on others.
Needs, wants, desires, and interests determine what is attended to. C. Understanding- occurs when we make sense of a message. It is possible o hear and attend to a message without understanding it at all. D. Responding -a message consisting of giving feedback to the speaker. E. Remembering- the ability to recall information. If we don’t remember a message, listening is hardly worth the effort. F. Gender and Listening- g. Social Influences h. Biological Influences 2. Types of Ineffective Listening a. Sidesplitting- is an imitation of the real thing-?an act put on to fool the speaker.
Pseudo listeners give the appearance of being attentive: They look you in the eye; they may even nod and smile. But the show of attention is a polite facade because their minds are somewhere else. . Stage-hogging- Stage-hogs (sometimes called “conversational narcissists”) try to turn the topic of conversations to themselves instead of showing interest in the speaker. C. Selective listening- Selective listeners respond only to the parts of your remarks that interest them, rejecting everything else. D. Insulated listening- Simply fail to hear or acknowledge your words. E.
Defensive listening- Someone who takes others’ remarks as personal attacks f. Ambushing- Ambushers listen carefully to you, but only because they’re collecting information that they’ll use to attack what you say. The tech unique of cross- examining prosecution attorney is a good example Of ambushing. G. Insensitive listening- respond to the superficial content in a message but miss the more important emotional information that may not be expressed directly. “How’s it going? ” an insensitive listener might ask. When you reply by saying “Oh, okay I guess” in a dejected tone, he or she responds ‘Well, great! Insensitive listeners tend to ignore the nonverbal cues. 3. Why We Don’t Listen a. Message overload- receiving messages from multiple sources at one time. B. Preoccupation- When we don’t listen to others because we have more important things on our minds. C. Rapid thought / Spare Brain Time- Able to understand 600 words per minute, Thus, we have mental “spare time” while someone is talking. The temptation is to use this time in ways that don t relate to the speaker’s ideas: thinking about personal interests, daydreaming planning a rebuttal, and so on.
The trick is to use this spare time to understand the speaker’s ideas better, rather than to let your attention wonder. D. External noise/internal noise- External Noise: The sounds around us. Ex: people in a classroom talking while traffic is going by outside. Internal Noise: Your inner thought and concerns. E. Hearing problems- Suffering from a hearing problem. Both the person with the problem and others can become frustrated at the ineffective communication that results. F. Faulty assumptions – We Often make faulty assumptions that lead us to believe we’re listening attentively when quite the opposite is true.
When the subject is a familiar one, it’s easy to tune out because you think you’ve heard it all before. A related problem arises when you assume that a speaker’s thoughts are too simple or too obvious to deserve careful attention, when in fact they do. At other times just the opposite occurs: You think that another’s comments are too complex to be understood (as in some lectures), so you give up trying to make sense of them. G. Lack of apparent advantages – Nan-listeners are likely to find that the people they cut off are less likely to treat their ideas with respect.