Kissing Doorknobs

Hey, what’s been going on with you lately? I miss the laughs we used to have walking home from school. I called to you the other day but you didn’t answer me. You seem like you’re in you own world! Please email me back and let me know if you are mad at me.

I don’t know how to explain what is going on with me. I hope you don’t think that I’m acting crazy. You have been one of my best friends since kindergarten. I’m afraid if I tell you how I feel, you’ll think I’m nuts. I’m not mad, but I have to count on the way to school. That’s why I don’t walk with you.

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You can tell me anything. What is the big deal with counting? Everybody counts! You are acting very strange. Can’t you just stop this foolishness? When did this “counting” thing start?

When I was younger, people just thought I was a worrywart. I knew then that it was more than that. I worried about things that other people didn’t even think about. I imagined terrible things happening at home while I was at school. Then one day I heard someone say, “step on a crack break your mothers back”. That’s when the counting started.

Mrs. Scott down the street spoke to you yesterday and you were rude to her. She asked your mother if you were on drugs. I know you would never do anything like that. Also, I noticed that you make the sign of the cross whenever someone swears. Is this all part of your illness?

I can’t explain these crazy thoughts. When I just counted cracks on the way to school, I could hide what I was doing. Now I can’t stop myself from praying out loud. My parents are so angry whenever this happens but I can’t stop. I have been to three doctors but none have helped me.

Sorry I haven’t written you in a while. My parents put me in the hospital and they say I’m anorexic! I think my mom is just jealous because I’m so thin. Well, the joke’s on her. A modeling agent stopped by yesterday and signed me to a contract right in my hospital room. How have you been?

My life is getting crazier, not better. My father had a heart attack. Now I am more afraid than ever that something terrible will happen to my family. I did make one new friend, Donna, but she’s pretty wild. She smokes and shoplifts but the funny thing is that when I’m with her I forget about counting and praying. Kristin, you should start eating real food, you are getting too thin.

I don’t need to eat, I’m a model now remember? Speaking of eating, is there a reason why you have to arrange your food perfectly on your plate before you eat it? I watched you at lunch the other day and it took you an hour to eat rice. Your sister told me that you have a new habit…kissing doorknobs. This is getting really weird.

A friend of my father, Mr. Jacobson, stopped by the other day. He listened to my story and said that it sounded like obsessive-compulsive disorder. He said that it was caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and can be treated. I have been in therapy with Dr. Leonardi and she has helped me so much. I feel like my old self again. I saw you on the cover of Glamour magazine. You look beautiful but I really hope that you have been eating. Bye for now.


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Kissing Doorknobs. (2018, Oct 05). Retrieved from