Love ans Styles of attachement
Individuals showcase different actions to manifest how they feel for each other. To establish connection, these actions are demonstrated accordingly and are dependent on the modes and level of understanding each one has. In my observation, I had seen how the phases of a relationship can affect the actions and responses of one individual to the other.
Within the campus, I saw one couple who were seating in the lobby. Due to their proximity to my classes, I decided to use them for observation as I tried to determine in what ways do these couples exhibit their actions and what corresponding phase does it belong into. It is in here that I devised a plan and a checklist to establish and solidify my remarks.
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In my first observation, I first focused on the way they acted upon seeing each other. This is vital for me to prove that they are (1) indeed couples and (2) showcase their inclusion and responsiveness. In here, I had seen the male approaching the female while the latter waves her hands as a sign that she is on their designated spot. As the guy got near, I saw a smile in his face as he gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. On the other hand, the female returned the favor by embracing the guy back and whispering something in his ear.
The next step of the process involves studying the couple’s interaction in the cafeteria. In here, I observed that they were holding each others hand as they went to buy their food. At the same time, I witnessed how each one felt comfortable while the other one is either holding the females waist or the other holding his hand. By the time that they are eating, I noted how chivalrous the guy is by carrying the woman’s bag and her food while locating where they will seat.
The third examination happened when I was going to the library. It was not my intention to study the couple during that time however given the situation, I used this opportunity to finally look into their actions and analyze it according to my data. In here, I had seen that the intimacy level between the two was increasing. Since there were limited individuals at the place during that time, they were using this as a way to showcase their affection for each other. The guy was hugging the girl passionately. The girl on the other hand was stroking the males back as if showing that she liked what she was feeling. There was even a point that they were kissing in a span of five (5) seconds and their lips touching.
Given all the information that I had recorded, my reaction to the couples’ actions was that they exhibited the phases of relationships. Every time I was monitoring their actions, it seems to be guided accordingly by each of these stages. Give for example, in the first meeting; I saw that the guy and girl fit the inclusion and response criteria. They showcased actions that are congruent to these facets.
Similarly, the second observation featured the level of care and trust for each other. This was manifested in the capability of man to carry the bag of the woman. At the same time, for the part of the female, she was willing to show the public of their relationship. It is this feature that enables them to attain a notion for others that they are in relationship. Reacting to the third observation, I feel that it also fits the category of affection and playfulness. As each individual explores their bodily aspects and enjoys the sensation and feeling of such actions, it corresponds to their need to be touched and caressed accordingly.
Given my observations and reactions, I feel that this situation does coincide with the research described in the textbook. Though there are differences in the way actions are portrayed and the limit of exposure to this couple, I still see the connection between the article’s research and how this male and female respond to each action given to them. In the end, the study can indeed cater an insight of how people develop and address the phases of relationship. It can be used as a source to determine the level of intimacy as well as how each one reacts in the process.