The thesis statement was clear and concise and the essay was well thought out in terms of factual examples. The supporting paragraphs show a topic sentence and very detailed body to follow up the main points. The first point is “the cost Of healthcare” and how it can affect Americans no matter what their class. The second point is “trouble areas involving healthcare” such as bankruptcy and other financial problems. I find the third paragraph a good enforcer of already printed points and it remains focused, on the overall topic.
I really enjoyed the conclusion because it ties the whole thing together and asks a crucial question. The question in itself challenges my interest and caused me to look back over the essay one final time. In the end agreed with the persuasion and hope one day this type of healthcare coverage will be possible. Feedback 2. After submitting my paper into the Write point checker, have a few areas on which I need to focus. The first correction noted was my frequent uses of the passive voice which can make my essay seem tedious or officious.
I have been working towards this in my writing, time and time again it seems to present itself. I am a bit disappointed by this and will continue making improvements in this area. Another recommended correction was my use of first person; I know this is not an acceptable form of persuasion especially In professional paper such as our final one. Write point advises only the use of first person in personal experiences or examples throughout my essay.
A final point is the repetitive nature my writing sometimes reflects in terms of vocabulary, feel the use of a thesaurus would greatly benefit my writing in this respect. Persuade your reader 3. My essay is centered on the topic, “Renting is a better choice than purchasing a home. ” believe my writing will be effective because it focuses on the main points that are important for persuasive essay writing. My introduction is strong, focused and my thesis Statement is interesting and insightful.
I have used questions as a thought provoker throughout the body of my essay and included personal experiences so my reader can emotionally connect with my work. Finally, the concluding paragraph offers a highlighting perspective and reinforces the persuasion I am making which favors renting. Can my essay be seen as biased? I do not think so; I tried to remain as professional and courteous as possible without seeming too pushy or forceful. I lay out factual information from reliable sites and add my own personal experiences in hopes of making a deeper connection towards my position.