Session Long Project Essay

 

On the 5th of April 2008, I received a letter from the Commanding Officer of the USS SHIP, with word that I am among those who qualify for Military STAR’s interest rate program, who should be in contingency area, as mentioned in the DoD Financial Management Regulation, Volume 7A, Chapter 10 for a minimum period of 90 consecutive days.  Having been qualified for the deployed status, it says that I will automatically receive reduction at the interest rate of 6% for those 90 days.  This I should have received, but my case was held last week because my account was in a collection status when I requested on March 15, 2008.

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I did not receive word that my account should not be in collection status when I applied for the program.  As I was able to change my status on April 12, a day after my case was held, would I still be eligible for the program dated on the 5th of April?

 

Please let me know, since this is very crucial for me.  Thank you.

 

 

Goodwill E-mail

 

Subject:           Interest rate program

Date:               April 20, 2008

From:              SH1 [first name] Moore, U.S. Navy

To:                  Jane Doe, Military STAR Customer Service Center

 

Thank you for your reply letter, which I received yesterday.  I shall follow your advice and apply for a reconsideration of the case.  I will write a formal letter and send it via airmail to Exchange Credit Program, P.O. Box 650410, Dallas, TX 75265-0410 on or before May 5, 2008.

 

I look forward to seeing you all by next month if I am to be readmitted.  As my account has been in good standing, I believe I have a good chance of being accepted again as an applicant.

 

More power to you all!

 

Analysis

The principles of creating good news messages and routine messages are centered on the following issues: first is to center on what the reader has to know or understand; second is to put more positive emphasis, even if there are negative events; third is to be formal yet friendly and bias-free; fourth is to protect the reader’s knowledge and ego by avoiding blame or too detailed explanation; fifth is to put nothing more than what you have to say; sixth and final is to build rapport with the reader without getting too personal.  It should be centered on building bonds.

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