The End of Dating: What I Learned about Marriage Essay
In this chapter, Trees attempted to answer the question why do more than half of marriages in America end in divorce? - The End of Dating: What I Learned about Marriage Essay introduction?? The author in this chapter used several analogies and studies to consider the issue of longevity in marriage and why this has eluded marriages in America. In his opinion, the core of this problem is the fact that people get married thinking that it is the solution to all life’s problem. Several Americans have high expectations and are misled by the initial passion and love that becloud their relationship. Overtime, this passion wanes, the infatuation clears and all that is left is a neutral feeling.
According to Trees, going into marriage with high hopes strangulates marriages. This is because the weight of false expectations is too heavy for the love in the relationship to bear. The reed soon breaks and thus leads to a divorce. In his conception, the idea that couples are meant to be engulfed with affection when they marry and carry this ecstasy till they die is unrealistic. When compared with arranged marriages that grow in progression, the idea of passionate love from the beginning to the end is a myth.
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Trees used several studies and researches to convey his message. However, of all the studies he used, I was most intrigued by the study that arranged marriages have more tendency to grow in love and enjoy longevity than the usual love struck marriage. This study shook the foundation of my belief as it pertains to relationships and marriages. The law of diminishing returns in economics can be applied here. My eyes were opened and I realized that starting from the peak is not actually the best. Love should grow. When all that should be the spark in a relationship is already known from the beginning, there is nothing new that would keep the relationship fun. I understood that love should evolve the way human beings evolved. Starting from the peak of “passionate love” is dangerous because it will drag into a routine. Life itself is meaningful because we look forward for the unknown. What will happen if man knew tomorrow today?