The Four Different Attachment Styles - Love Essay Example
What are the four attachment styles and the way they shape people? - The Four Different Attachment Styles introduction?? The four different attachment styles is secure attachment, fearful attachment, dismissive attachment, and anxious/ambivalent attachment. I am going to start off by talking about secure attachment and how it makes people the way they are. This attachment style shapes people by giving someone self-worth and having a positive view on others. It makes them have a higher self-esteem and easier for them to communicate with others.
An example of this type of attachment is let’s say we have a nerdy/geeky kid that doesn’t get along with too many people and just gets picked on a lot. On the other hand there is a jock that is handsome and is very athletic, he gets all the girls and everyone loves him. The nerdy/geeky kid is going to have a much lower self-esteem and self-worth then the kid who has been popular his whole life. The second type of attachment is a fearful attachment. This makes people the way they are because of bad experiences in their childhood. Some example of bad experiences is having a parent be negative, unloving, and abusive.
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This will cause kids to be feared of not being loved or be distant with friends or loved ones when they grow up. It would be hard for them to open up to loved ones. A way we can put this into perspective is there is a child that grows up in a non-affectionate family. Their most likely going to feel like no one is ever going to love them or they will never be good enough for anyone else. This causes adults and children to have low self-esteems and be scared of the opposite sex because of rejection and not being good enough for them.
Dismissive attachment style is one of the more confusing attachment styles of the four. This attachment style causes people to think that people are unworthy for them instead of him feeling unworthy for other people. This causes people to be more care-free of a relationship is and could care less if they find the love of their lives. They seem to not care much about other people as well. Adults and children who have a dismissive attachment style are like this because of the way they were raised.
Parents who work all the time and never pay attention to there children would cause children to act in a dismissive way. These kids are more towards the line of always misbehaving and getting into trouble a lot. It is as almost if the children feel betrayed by their parents so they act dismissive to get attention. The final and last attachment style is anxious/ambivalent style. This style is the inconsistent style which means a parent that is loving one moment then very mean and abusive the next moment.
The child who is put into this childhood tends to always blame themselves then ever putting the blame on someone else. They assume since their parents always just randomly got mad at them that it was always there fault. This cause a lot of children to have anxiety attacks because of all the stress of blaming themselves. A good example of this is someone who is raised with a bi-polar mother or father. A child put in this situation is more prone to having anxiety attacks more often than someone who is not in that kind of situation every day. Those are the four attachment style and how they shape people.