What motivates a person to want to be a parent? - Motivation Essay Example

Introduction

There are different phases in human lives - What motivates a person to want to be a parent? introduction. Initially, a human is an infant; with the passage of time, the infant grows and moves towards the childhood stage. From the age of thirteen, the kid enters the teen ages and enjoys this period till the age of nineteen. With the step towards twenty, the scale and scope of responsibility increases and the once infant person move towards being a mature and adult. With the wider scope of responsibilities, there also rises the need of having a life-partner with whom the person can share the issues, sorrows, joys, etc. so this person decides on getting married. Life changes after marriage; ideally, there should be more time now to be given to family. Sooner or later, this once-infant adult moves towards the parenthood stage and becomes a mother/father of an infant, a new born life.

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Being a parent is acceptance to a new set of responsibilities. This transition is not an easy stage. Thousands and thousands abortion cases are registered annually for several different reasons, most of them denying the willingness to take on the responsibility at that point in time. This assures how difficult it is to actually transit human sense of responsibility towards becoming a parent. Similar to the concept of a catalyst in a chemical reaction (a substance that enhances the agility of the chemical reaction), there are forces, internal or external that influence the decision making and ease the transition phase to the parenthood. These can be called as the motivating factors that help in the transition of a person into a parent.

 

This paper highlights these motivating and influencing factors. It is well understood that the transition is not a very easy phase; however, by virtue of these factors, the transition becomes easier.

 

Parenthood

Parenthood can be defined as the act of becoming a parent. This may initiate from the point of an intercourse and end at the delivery of the infant to the lady. Parenthood is defined as a gift of nature that allows all living beings to generate offspring. Fertility is probably one of the biggest gifts nature can offer to a living soul. Not everyone is blessed; modern science is on the hunt to find ways and means to develop this gift of nature [15]. Since it stands as a fact that no money is wasted on research and no time is wasted on it, unless it is recognized to be fruitful; therefore, the demand of this cure has led to so much research. This shows the presence of some sort of an attraction to this phenomenon. Yet, there exist living souls who do not treasure this gift of nature and opt for abortion in case of pregnancy. The abortion can be opted for by the female herself or under pressure from several sources including the male partner [6].

Relevance

The last few lines of the previous section depict the importance of transition from pregnancy to parenthood stage. It is more like a bridge on one side of which some, not all (fertility issue) people arrive, and even lesser get through to the final stage. This paper analyzes the motivating forces that push people from this side of the bridge to that. It is fairly important to analyze such aspects to study human behavior. These analyses would lead into concluding that which aspects are the most motivating and forcing ones in the human race [5].

 

Analysis of Catalysts

These catalysts are essential to analyze as mentioned above [7]. Following are some of the identified catalysts and their elaborated viewpoints:

1.     Destiny to become a Father/Mother

A number of parents consider the transition to parenthood (becoming a mother/father) as their pre-defined destiny or a stroke of luck. This is more of a positive thought. Primarily because such people, seemingly, are quite obedient to God’s will, and do not interfere with the laws of nature; these people actually respect the gift of nature i.e. fertility and realize that the unfertile people are so very much unlucky not to born and breed their own kids. Nonetheless, these people are not under affluence of any individual or group of individuals, and rather just aspired by the gift of nature and accept it at its face value [16].

2.     Others’ Kids

Another source of motivation is when a person sees children of others around; at that point in time, the one who can actually turn into a parent visualizes the presence of their own child, and that is precisely where the motivation builds up from. This phenomenon is quite similar to that of human jealousy i.e. wanting what a counterpart has; however, in this case, this may be a truly constructive-competition’s case.

3.     Family Pressure

At times, it is the wish and pressure from the family that motivates in having kids. This scenario stands quite valid particularly in the Asian region, whereby, parents are looking forward desperately to their children having children. In this region, at times couples are forced to have babies to retain family norms. Family pressures are one of the premier sources of external pressure applied to the couple, extensively whenever so, and often result in positive outcomes.

4.     Social Pressures

Societal pressures are another source of motivation for people to convert to being parents as society may also develop certain pressures on the couples having no children, forcing them by different means to have children. This can be through verbal exchange of words or expressive attitude of considering them inferior. Society may also depict to the couple that they are considered to be infertile as they do not have any kids. This and many such more pressures can actually be applied to ensure the transition of people to parenthood [4].

5.     Determination of having Off-spring

It is the true will of every person on this earth to have off-spring; someone to have their name kept alive, someone to hold the inheritance, etc. All these come under the umbrella of having offspring, a will that leads to a person converting into parenthood. Having an offspring is a true gift of nature. Offspring not only distributes wealth and keeps their parents name alive, but also spreads happiness throughout the family and relatives.

 

6.     Love for Kids

People love kids and what better way to have kids and have fun with them than your own? Love for kids is another huge motivation towards becoming a parent. When a partner from a couple (male/female) goes out and watches a cute baby (babies are cute generally as well), a wish pops up of having a child, which is then moved to the other partner and the later is also convinced for the same. So basically it’s the love for kids that motivates people into having their own.

 

7.     Strengthen the Marriage bond

Marriages are said to be made in heavens, and thus, are possibly the strongest bond that humans can develop amongst themselves (despite the fact that divorces are on the rise, but that falls beyond the scope of this paper). The need, therefore, is to further strengthen the bond. Surveys and researches have proved that there have been more divorces and separations among the no-kids couples than in the couples who have kids. This finding and many such more lead to the outcome stating a proven fact that the delivery of an infant changes the relationship of a couple drastically. It can well be understood that the marriage bond becomes stronger. It is just a matter of understanding that a chick can get its own food, and not just a chick but a child of any animal starts food searching as soon as born; while its human infant who cannot even move appropriately, let alone understanding the proceedings. Over and above that, the infant needs to cry to deliver a message. This is probably to develop an attraction for mother towards the kid, and for the father towards the two; thus completing the whole family and expanding on the whole society. Therefore, when a partner wants to strengthen a marriage bond/relationship, the first and foremost demand would be to attain parenthood [8].

 

8.     Quality of Relationship with Partner

Prevailing quality of relationship with the partner is another huge motivation towards becoming a parent. Having tremendous relations would definitely imply that the partner seeks to retain them for a longer period of time, and thus having children would add icing on the cake. And as an after effect, as mentioned previously, there is improvement in quality of relationship between partners witnessed as a result of completion of transition into the parenthood phase [3].

 

9.     Internal Satisfaction

There is a level of inner/internal satisfaction, a feeling of achievement, associated to a person turning into a parent. This internal satisfaction can be pertinent to any issue. A sense of achievement can possibly be because not every person in the world is fertile (capable of attaining parenthood). There can be various other reasons to feel proud of this achievement. So the need of this internal satisfaction may lead people intro transforming into parents.

 

10.                       Partner Pressure for Delivery

For any reason, as stated above or otherwise, one of the partners may pressurize the other for the birth of a child. This pressure has the tendency to act as a motivation for the other partner. The partner demanding a child doesn’t necessarily have to be the female; it can be the male as well. However, such a demand from a female generally implies requirement of more secure and stronger relationship. While a demand of the same sort from a male implies that the male is catering to the unsaid needs of a secure and strong relationship with a female. This again leads to the previous points that birth of a child improves the quality of relationship between the couple, and therefore; the partner pressure for birth of a child is a major motivation towards parenthood [9].

 

11.                       Denial of Old Age Loneliness

Consider a scenario whereby the husband and wife denied the birth of a child (attaining parenthood) throughout their youth for any reason, and now at the age of 40 or beyond, they both sit together alone to spend the day; things seem quite ok so far, at least with the presence of a company. If one day, either of them dies, the other one is all alone now, of his/her own to earn and eat, etc. The only manner in which this loneliness can be eliminated is through the parenthood that was denied in the earlier portion of their lives. Thus, the thought of such a depressive and lonely life proves to be a negative reinforcement, and motivates a person into becoming a parent.

 

12.                       Pleasure of Parenthood

Being a parent is a pleasure of its own, particularly for females. The pleasure that a mother seeks while feeding the infant cannot be matched to any other pleasure in the world. Similarly, the pleasure that a father seeks when he sees the infant grow into an adult and mature person cannot be explained in terms of words; but put in brief; it is an immense pleasure when this happens.

 

Conclusion

Likewise mentioned above, there are several factors that lead to the motivation of a person actually turning into a parent; not everyone can, there are not all who have this gift of nature. This fact is quite visible from the infertility rate prevailing across the globe, and even from the curing medicines that exist in the world [12], [13].

 

Nonetheless, there are motivating factors that influence the decision of a person to actually become a parent. These can be positive or negatively reinforcing elements that have the ability to ease the transition process in just being a person to becoming a parent. Such factors are important to consider while developing attitude towards parenthood as becoming a parent has several distinct advantages of its own. For instance, as mentioned previously, a child’s birth has a significant impact on the couples’ relationship. Such transformation includes the changes in expectations, communication, satisfaction, quality of life, home environment, etc. [14]

 

It can also be concluded that this motivation is also a measure or check for the flexibility of understanding between the couple, with regards to the requirements, needs, and wants [10].

 

Researchers and authors have defined the transition phase from a person to a parent as a magical moment [11]. This phase can be considered both in the positive as well as the negative notion. The positive aspect has been discussed in the body of the report. In conclusion, there should be some light shed on the negative aspect as well. There are not just evidences of relationships getting stronger due to birth of babies; at the same time there are also evidences that the relationships have deteriorated because of the same. The few major/common ones are (i) reduced time for partner, (ii) social class conflict, and (iii) conflict of roles i.e. parents and working person [1], [2]. However, if there is a firm belief on the statement that there is no problem without a solution, then there are solutions for these as well. The best possible one is to define clear cut boundaries and lines that embark distribution of time and load as per the requirements of all four i.e. partner, social life, work, and of course the infant.

 

Therefore, it can be said well conclusively that motivation is the key to success in each and all walks of life. There is absolutely nothing that cannot be achieved in this world. Just the presence of motivation does the job. Similarly, when referring to a couple of having a baby, it is no big deal, all that it requires is commitment and motivation not just to have a child but to give him/her the best breeding possible. However, the initial requirement is that of motivation, which in turn develops commitment and then defining a path to success.

 
References

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Perry Jenkins, M., Pierce, C., & Goldberg, A. (2003). Discourses on diapers and dirty laundry: Family communication about child care and housework. In A. Vangelisti (Ed.), The Handbook of Family Communication, (pp. 541-562). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

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