What Is Emotional Intelligence? And why is it important? According to (Goleman, D., 1995) “described emotional intelligence in five domains: knowing one’s emotions, managing one’s emotions, motivating oneself by marshaling emotions, recognizing emotions in others, and managing emotions in others so as to handle relationships.” It is the intangible force that guides us as we explore the intricacies of social interactions personally and within our work life. So important is emotional intelligence, that how skillfully it’s wielded has been shown to be more impactful than one’s IQ when determining the level of one’s success or lack thereof in both life and business. Emotional Intelligence has been classified into two major categories: personal competence and social competence. Within these categories are four critical domains of Emotional Intelligence. These domains are self-awareness, self-management, empathy, and social skill. By merely living among people, it isn’t difficult to conclude that emotional intelligence isn’t something that is freely given out to human beings in equal portions. Therefore, as a result, how can Emotional Intelligence develop? According to (e.g. Goleman, 1996; Steiner, 1997; Ho¨pfl and Linstead,1997; Cooper, 1997; Martinez, 1997) and cited within the journal of (Dulewicz,Victor, 2004) International Journal of Human Resource Management, “Within the larger debate, a key question often posed is ‘can an individual’s Emotional Intelligence be developed or is it an inherited or enduring trait?’ Within much of the literature relating to Emotional Intelligence, there is a strong consensus that it is a developable trait or competency.”
Emotional Intelligence in Communication
Emotions can be likened to chaos in a bottle; sometimes controlled and at other times uncontainable. We utilize our emotions throughout our daily existence to display a variety of expressions in response to both minor and major events that affect us on a personal level, and to those that affect society. According to (Segal & Jaffe, 2008, p.79), “Emotion is the glue that binds each of us to our first relationship, laying the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in future relationships.” This is a profound statement that details what emotional intelligence is within communication. However, without communication, emotional intelligence would fall flat as presented within inadequate relationships which cause a display of different behaviors as a child and adult. Just as those listed by (Segal & Jaffe, 2008, p.24-25) which are:
- Failing to pick up on or respond appropriately to social cues
- Having less empathy and moral judgment than others seem to display
- Being anxious or edgy, or being withdrawn, spaced out, or shut down
- Being unable to repair rifts and surmount differences
- Being unable to calm and soothe yourself when you are feeling anxious or depressed
- Failing to be playful or to easily experience joy
- You simply don’t know what it means to be truly appreciated and understood.
- You don’t know how to accept praise, caring, or goodwill when it is offered.
- You don’t know how to be genuinely interested in or emotionally moved by other people.
- You don’t know how to resolve differences without getting mad, tuning out, or splitting up.
- You don’t know how to influence people.
- Your friends often seem to betray your trust.
- You have a constant need for control, power, and authority over others.
- You keep finding yourself in unsatisfying or unsuccessful relationships at home or at work.
Furthermore, those whom have adequate relationships have a more positive display whether child or adult. According to (Segal & Jaffe, 2008, p.24) “Adequate early relationships depend on an interactive communication process that conveys mutual recognition and understanding. It’s about being seen and being known—being played with and feeling that your perceptions and emotions are observed and understood.”
Emotional Intelligence in Life
As stated earlier, the social interactions of emotional intelligence can also be explored within our work life, home life, and personal life. So, then we need to understand emotional intelligence is vital to us to ensure understanding of it in our everyday life. According to (Mathew, Molly; Gupta, K S., 2015), “Emotionally intelligent leaders are thought to perform better in the workplace (Goleman, 1998a,b), be happier and more dedicated to their organization (Abraham, 2000), take advantage of emotions and use them to foresee major improvements in organizational functioning, improve decision making, solve problems, instill a sense of enthusiasm, excitement, trust and co-operation in other employees through interpersonal relationships (George, 2000).” Adequate relationships are needed to have the results of such meaningful people within a workforce and personally. This in-turn can detail how a person is dealing with their personal life also. Would it be safe to say that someone exemplifying the actions above to be stressed or in charge of their Emotional Intelligence? Stress has many affects to relationships, which can also affect your emotional intelligence, so understanding how to manage it can benefit your social skills. (Segal & Jaffe, 2008, p.56) conclude that recognizing stress, managing stress, and staying calm allows for Internal focus and Mind/body unity.
Therefore, doing so will allow for improved relationships whether at work or home. Enabling limits on communication such as stress can cause issues within home life. Issues such as non-existent bonds with children and broken relationships with others. However, ‘relationship-destroying patterns of communication brought about through inadequate early relationships, isolation, abuse, or neglect can be changed.” (Segal & Jaffe, 2008, p.44)
Opportunities to Improve Emotional Intelligence
Above all, there are plenty opportunities to improve your emotional intelligence. Even though some may have been presented with a turbulent path of inadequate relationships that have caused a lacking in things like empathy. So, what are the mean of improving emotional intelligence are observing possible obstacles, motivation, meditation, be accepting of support of others, awareness of setbacks, and self-appreciation. (Segal & Jaffe, 2008, p.9, p.10, p.11)
Conclusion
In summary, emotional intelligence is vital to us as it covers our different types of communication and social interactions. As stated by (Segal & Jaffe, 2008, p.2-3), “Developing emotional intelligence skills helps us recognize, contain, and effectively communicate our emotions, as well as recognize the emotions of other people.” For this reason, there is great need for us to understand what emotional intelligence is to hold ourselves accountable and allow for change to better relationships.
References
- Victor Dulewicz, Malcolm Higgs, (2000) ‘Emotional intelligence – A review and evaluation study’, Journal of Managerial Psychology, Vol. 15 Issue: 4, pp.341-372, https://doi-org.contentproxy.phoenix.edu/10.1108/02683940010330993
- Segal, J., & Jaffe, J. (2008). The language of emotional intelligence : the five essential tools for building powerful and effective relationships. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill
- Mathew, M., & Gupta, K. S. (2015). Transformational leadership : Emotional intelligence. SCMS Journal of Indian Management, 12(2), 75-89. Retrieved from https://search-proquest-com.contentproxy.phoenix.edu/docview/1695027575?accountid=458
