At the age of five, I made an interesting discovery during the Christmas Pageant’s second scene: I had to hold hands with Josh, who was one year older than me. Surprisingly, both of us reacted in the same way – EW Gross! Nonetheless, Josh and I have been acquainted for as long as we can recall. Our grandparents were friends, our parents were friends, and even our siblings were friends. It felt as though our familial ties had predestined a special connection between us.
Since I can recall, Josh’s family and mine have been gathering at his house every Sunday afternoon. This tradition persists even after we attend church.
When we were children, our parents would talk over coffee while our older siblings rode bicycles and Josh and I played in the sandbox. Whenever we had to choose a game, I would always suggest playing house, but Josh disagreed, saying it was a game for girls. Instead, he eagerly suggested playing ninjas with loud shouts of “HIYA!” Eventually, we found a middle ground: I became the mommy and used our cat as the baby while Josh became the ninja daddy.
At the age of five, gender distinctions are not a priority when it comes to forming friendships. Whether a child is wearing feminine or masculine clothing, they are simply viewed as your fellow playmates. It wasn’t until I had to hold Josh’s hand during the pageant that I began to see him as a boy for the first time.
Both of us complained and, if my memory serves me correctly, Josh threw a tantrum about the whole scene. However, we were still forced to stand there hand in hand.
During the performance night, our parents gathered backstage to offer us words of encouragement. My mom took care of my frilled dress as Josh’s mom styled his hair. Both mothers urged us to go out on stage and smile, regardless of our personal desires.
Anticipating our big scene, we nervously waited backstage for our cue. Eventually, we were pushed onto the stage, fully aware of our tasks at hand. Josh reached out his hand to me and I willingly accepted it. Meeting each other’s eyes, we exchanged genuine smiles – not forced but sincere. Unexpectedly, he leaned in and kissed my cheek. The audience reacted with a mix of surprise and laughter, realizing this was unplanned. From that moment on, Josh became a boy in my perspective while I transformed into a girl in his eyes. Surprisingly, holding Josh’s hand no longer disgusted me.
