For this week’s assignment we were asked to develop a 3-step process that would improve self-control and also creat a healthier mind in stress and goals. Sitting here thinking of what my professional improvement for myself that I could benefit from self-management would be to increase my self-care through my goals and stress. I have always had a hard time dealing with stress and that I always have way to much stress on me that completing my goals that I have created for myself. I’ve found myself at times physically drained, emotionally exhausted, physically and mentally unstable at times. I have never had this problem before dealing with stress was so common for me but lately I’ve been feeling that at any point I’ll meet with my breaking point and have a mental break down.
In 2016 I was diagnosed with depression, I’ve fought my way through trying everything to get the help that I needed. When everything failed me depression stage lead me to suicide. It’s been hard to try and fight that stress that was weighing me down when I was the stress that was causing it all the issues in my life. My life has always been a struggle to me, being a victim of abuse as a child, being a victim of “The Cinderella Theory”, being a victim of being bullied. I know my life wasn’t perfect, it was always a temporary home when I actually thought about it. When kids found out I was staying with a teacher for a short time it effected my life completely. Students called me names, I was pushed down the stairs, beat up on a daily basis. I started building the stress where my life revolved around scars on my wrist wondered why my family never wanted me, why I wasn’t a good child, why don’t people like me. Most nights I would cry myself to sleep. I’ve been trying to get back up on my feet little by little and control my stress, mind and establishing my goals. Going back to school has been a struggle at first after getting a degree through the “Funeral Services” I know for some people it seems gruesome not many people understand why. For me I use it to cope with my feelings and actually it has helped when I feel stressed I talk to them knowing that they won’t communicate back but having someone listen without judging helps me control my stress.
I have learned that so many people struggle with the same situation that I have and do. It’s has helped me open about my life story and how I want to help those that are dealing with it and coping from those that have loss the ones the love over the same causes that I failed at. Knowing what I want to do with my life, has built me to become be better leader, to know I have a voice. Seeing my goal in a brighter light and not just in shadows of an empty road. I will stay focused conquer my dreams with a passion. I hope anyone that has or is dealing with the same struggles that I’ve been through follows these three steps of self-management to make yourself a better person not only your behavior.
