Being a man in modern society is now more of a challenge than a means of living and pleasure, as a result of societal pressures and media influence. Men are constantly under pressure to conform to certain behaviors or expectations. To assert their masculinity, violence has become the predominant method for men to demonstrate their strength, both towards others and themselves. This violence can manifest as physical abuse or emotional mistreatment.
The societal expectations and pressures surrounding masculinity have driven many males to engage in harmful behaviors towards themselves and their loved ones. This has also resulted in marginalization and hostility towards those who do not conform to a specific standard of masculinity, causing detrimental effects for individuals with less masculine qualities. To break this cycle of violence and animosity, it is crucial to thoroughly examine and redefine the concept of masculinity. Ultimately, the perpetuation of extreme masculinity and suppression of emotions are leading boys and men towards increased anger and depression.
By analyzing violence against oneself and others, suppressed emotions, and societal impact, it becomes evident that masculinity is a conceptual framework that requires reevaluation as it pushes men towards their own demise. As society progresses, its understanding of the surrounding environment also evolves. Masculinity has transformed into a role that males are obligated to adopt in order to preserve their masculine essence. In numerous cases, men who exhibit feminine characteristics face mockery and prejudice.
When it comes to masculinity, Kaufman explains that certain traits like strength, daring, courage, rationality, intellect, and sexual desire are highly regarded. However, these traits can become oppressive and harmful when they are distorted within the societal norm for masculinity and when other feminine traits are disregarded. Although these characteristics hold value and are greatly appreciated, masculinity distorts them by imposing new interpretations and establishing fresh expectations for males (Kaufman 3).
Additionally, it is crucial to understand the origins of masculine violence in order to redefine masculinity and address the associated issues. According to Kaufman, sociological analysis suggests that violence is learned through witnessing and experiencing social violence, such as a man kicking a boy who then kicks a dog (6). This implies that violence is a learned behavior that perpetuates after being observed.
According to Kaufman, the reality of transmitted violence is evidenced by the analysis of wife battering, as many batterers were themselves abused as children (6). In certain instances, men who were abused as children believe that violence is a solution to household disputes and, as they age, they find it acceptable to use violence against their own children and spouse. Thus, a continuous cycle of violence ensues. Furthermore, violence has been ingrained in society as an acceptable method for resolving conflicts (Kaufman, 5).
The acceptance of violence as a means of problem-solving highlights its use as a tool for males to assert and maintain power. Opting for peaceful resolutions and avoiding violent confrontations may be perceived as feminine, leading males to face ridicule and teasing if they do not resolve issues through violent measures. Thus, masculinity is equated with violence, sending a message to young males that being a man entails being violent. Consequently, masculinity becomes synonymous with demonstrating and asserting power over others.
This power is utilized to exploit individuals who do not challenge male dominance, as De Beauvoir argues. Woman, reduced to serving men through her sexuality, whether for pleasure or procreation, is therefore subjected to exploitation (342). The concept of masculinity teaches young males that in order to earn respect, they must exert power over others, with intimidation being the sole means of attaining such respect. Through the exercise of this power and intimidation, women are frequently oppressed and kept under male authority.
According to De Beauvoir, women rely on men for their human dignity, sustenance, enjoyment of life, and procreation; these benefits come through engaging in sexual activities. However, due to this confinement, women become mere tools for exploitation (De Beauvoir, 360). Men use their power over women to assert their masculinity and maintain their manliness. This violence is not limited to the domestic sphere; it also manifests in the struggle between masculinity and nature within a capitalist society where the environment is manipulated and destroyed for economic gain. Notably, violence against nature and domination of the natural world are closely linked to human domination (Kaufman, 7). Additionally, rape and sexual abuse serve as means for men to exhibit their power. As Kaufman observes, testimonials from rapists often reveal feelings of inferiority, powerlessness, and anger (15). By committing such acts, men demonstrate their physical strength over their victims, thereby reinforcing their definition of masculinity as a display of power and control achieved through violence.
Additionally, masculinity can be viewed as a rebellion or resistance against the notion of being a lesser person or the apprehension of being controlled. To conquer these apprehensions, numerous males experience a strong desire to conceal their emotions and connections with others. If a man decides to display emotion, he is ridiculed and taunted. To avoid this mocking, emotions and feelings are suppressed. This suppression of feelings leads to even greater emotional anguish and tension for males. The emotional pain caused by the obsession with masculinity is concealed by perpetuating masculinity itself (Kaufman, 12).
This text highlights how the concept of masculinity leads to emotional suffering and unhappiness. The definition of masculinity teaches men that displaying emotions is a sign of weakness. According to interviews, many young men believe that being a man entails being intimidating, powerful, and physical, and lacking these traits can lead to being labeled as homosexual (Tough Guise). Furthermore, masculinity requires suppressing various human needs, goals, emotions, and forms of expression (Kaufman, 13). In social situations, it is evident how men interact with each other and try to demonstrate their emotions in a more subtle manner.
According to Kaufman (19), expressions of affection and the need for companionship among boys were often accompanied by physical displays of aggression. This might include a simple punch on the shoulder as a greeting or a forceful pat on the back to express feelings towards another male. It is clear that expressing emotions and feelings is a natural aspect of being human, but masculinity has imposed restrictions on this behavior. Masculinity dictates that males cannot show emotions without adopting a violent or macho attitude. As a result, if a male does express sentimentality or emotions, his masculinity and power are taken away.
According to Freud, the establishment of social relations among men necessitates a significant amount of passivity, which also generates a fear of losing one’s power (Kaufman, 18). In order to have healthier connections between males, a certain degree of passivity is required. However, this very passivity instills a fear in individuals of losing their power and being dominated by their male counterparts. This concept demonstrates that masculinity prevents men from forming relationships with each other since the societal norms associated with masculinity do not allow men to be passive individuals.
The idea constantly enforced is that masculinity is synonymous with power. Masculinity is defined by the presence of power. This power is exerted over women, children, and other males to maintain such authority. Losing this power results in being seen as inferior and dominated, stripping away one’s manhood. According to Kaufman, the equation for future manhood for young boys is male = penis = power = active = masculine (19). On the other hand, Kaufman asserts that the opposite of this equation is female = castrated = passive = feminine (19). Additionally, another complication arising with masculinity is homosexuality.
According to Kaufman (19), maintaining masculinity involves suppressing homosexuality, which is often viewed as a source of fear or a challenge to one’s masculinity. Societal constraints limit men in expressing their enjoyment of being around other men to certain social contexts. In these contexts, such as muscle building, male camaraderie, hero worship, religious rituals, war, and sports (Kaufman, 20), they can openly show their pleasure in being with or admiring other men.
In the realm of masculinity, it is considered unacceptable to seek satisfaction through the company of men in alternate environments. The fear of homosexuality, which is devoid of logic, poses a significant challenge for numerous men in society. This fear is a product of societal construction and serves as a necessary tool for establishing and upholding masculinity (Kaufman, 21). Thus, it becomes evident that displaying animosity and aversion towards homosexuals is a prerequisite for embodying masculinity. This fear can be described as an irrational and unsound apprehension, believed by many men to be the appropriate approach when interacting with individuals of diverse sexual orientations.
Traditionally, the concept of masculinity has dictated that being heterosexual is normal while any other sexual orientation is seen as abnormal. This gives masculinity the power to define what is considered normal or not. However, these preoccupations with masculinity also harm individuals. Males often suffer physically and mentally when they suppress their emotions and resort to violence. It is crucial to acknowledge that feelings and emotions cannot be suppressed because they are innate aspects of human behavior.
According to Kaufman (22), men continually block and deny both consciously and unconsciously the experience of passivity and the associated emotions such as fear, pain, sadness, and embarrassment. This denial of an integral part of our being has severe consequences for men as they develop feelings of self-hatred and self-blame. These negative emotions often manifest as anger, leading to further violence. Men may direct some of this anger towards themselves through guilt, self-hate, and the occurrence of physiological and psychological symptoms (Kaufman, 22).
In fear of displaying emotions and forfeiting power, men frequently struggle with depression, ultimately undermining their well-being. This anger and despondency also affect their family, as the home becomes a breeding ground for fury and aggression. As a result, women and children often bear the brunt of this emotional outpouring (Kaufman, 16). Consequently, many turn to alcohol and drugs as solace for this despair.
According to statistics, there is a higher prevalence of binge drinking among men in college and high school compared to women. This is believed to be influenced by the portrayal of such behavior as a means of handling difficult situations in the film Tough Guise. As alcohol consumption increases, so does the occurrence of drunk driving accidents. The film Tough Guise demonstrates that cultural norms perceive reckless driving as cool and masculine. Boys who observe their idols and rock stars engaging in dangerous driving through music videos receive the message that masculinity requires them to be irresponsible drivers, despite its hazards.
Both the safety of males and the lives of others are at risk due to drinking and driving. The harm caused by masculinity, classified as a public health concern, affects both males themselves and those around them (Tough Guise). This harm is a result of societal expectations placed on masculinity. Exploring suppressed emotions, self-destructive behavior, and violence reveals that masculinity weakens and diminishes men as an ideological construct.
It is crucial to recognize that society frequently associates masculinity with power, resulting in negative outcomes for women and children. To foster a more inclusive and nurturing society, it is necessary to redefine this harmful notion. Presently, our culture is saturated with violent masculinity, necessitating a collective effort to transform this perception for the betterment of everyone. Rather than viewing being male as an obligation or performance, it should be seen as a chance for personal development and self-confidence. Men must be able to advance in life with confidence and self-esteem rather than resorting to violence and self-deprecation.
