Relationships imply various things to various individuals. For sure, There are different types of relationships- “monogamous, polygamous, open relationship, long-distance relationship, and causal relationship” (Geller, 4062). “Relationship connections require work and pledge to keep your adoration for each other solid, and marriage is no exception” (Wagner and Mft, 2019). Irrespective of the type of relationship one is involved with, the main thing is to have a functional relationship.“Relationship connections are confounded. “They may begin blissfully; in any case, at that point become negative or upsetting without you getting it” (McMahan, (2017).
Only a few have great relationships and I am among the few. This past week, it seems like we renewed our wedding vows. Words could not describe affection and love we showed each other. The way we related to each other was so amazing-just like love at first sight. We felt like two teenagers. He surprised me with a new phone, clothes, and two pairs of beautiful shoes. I felt like a new wife, with tears of joy rolling down my cheek.
He hugged and kissed those tears and said: “I love you and will do more than this because you are a wonderful person” gazing at his face, I said, “I love you more”. We left the bedroom after a few discussions in the bathroom to shower. The rest of the action was so romantic that I lacked words to express it. His action so affected me that; he influenced my self-concept.
Self-concept, according to Baumeister (1999), is “What people believe about himself or herself, including the person’s attributes and who and what the self is” (McLeod, S. A. (2008). Who you think you are mean the self- concept and I think I am loveable, humble, open-minded, impatient, optimistic. However, self-concept is subject to change, mostly when influenced by “significant other.” According to Adler, R. B., & Proctor, R. F. (2017) significant other is people whose opinion we especially value. Crossmen defines-a “significant other” as someone about whom we have some specific knowledge. Thus, we are influenced by what we perceive to be his or her thoughts, feelings, or expectations (Crossman, 2018). “ Haller, Fink, and Woelfel of the University of Wisconsin researched the impact of significant others on people. They found that the desires for the significant other had the single most significant influence on the students’ aspirations — the same as my husband. I so much valued him and his words to the extent that he affected my self- concept positively. He made me feel self-fulfilled, more precious, and blessed. He brought out the strength in me. I began to be more conscious of myself- I used to be lazy about house cleaning, but he improved my cleanness of the house because of his action. That trait of laziness was diminished, and I became hard working. Our emotions during this period were unbelievable.
Emotions, sometimes used synonymously with feeling is not an easy word to define or explain. The dictionary defines emotion: “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others”. It also states emotion as “a complex reaction pattern, involving experiential, social, and physiological components, by which an individual endeavors to manage a by and by critical issue or occasion.” The specific significance of the event determines the specific quality of the emotion (e.g., fear, shame). Emotion typically involves feelings but differs from feeling in having an overt or implicit engagement with the world. As pointed out by Clark, some words are just too intense for some situations, and others are just too weak. He is going to add a scale for each type of emotion(Clark, G. 2017). My husband and I expressed our emotions in different ways ranging from being happy to cheerful-smile was visible on our faces, walking around telling each other, “I love you,” laughing out loud, tear of joy rolling down my face, playful-while jesting at the same time. I felt so romantic and sexy, cuddled each other while we kissed. The whole week was full of refreshing emotions. I can hardly wait for him to return from work, welcome him with a warm hug and tender kisses. We sit and talk about many things ranging from how we want the year 2020 to look. We feel so comfortable at each other’s arms while we listen to our opinions.
Adler & Proctor mentioned that “Listening is the method of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and /or non-verbal messages”(Adler & Proctor,(2017). listening -is one of the concepts of interpersonal relationships. It is a process of making sense of others’ messages, and it consists of five elements: hearing, attending, understanding, responding and remembering. In other words, understanding not only spoken messages but other forms of messages. “Listening style is how an individual attends to the messages of another person.” (Adler & Proctor,(2017). There is a mindless listening style- when we react to other messages automatically, and routinely, without much mental investment. In contrast, mindful listening involves giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive. For example, we engaged in both of the listening styles mentioned, at a different measure. When using a mindless listening style at a point, I noticed that he was half asleep does not respond as he used to when we started the discussion and also make some side comments that are irrelevant to the discussion. I, to some extent, was involved in mindless listening because I want to leave and attend to the kids, so I wasn’t responding well. Mindful listening, we were so attentive and responded to messages, questions, we deliberate how our year 2020 will be. We were planning our budget, talking of ways to save and spend money. What we are discussing was so crucial that we do not have an option but to be mindful.
Every relationship goes through one stage to the other despite the uniqueness of that relationship; each stage has its characteristics and issues, that is why some relationships last for a lifetime, and others do not last. The stages of a relationship fluctuate. It goes here and there, to and fro. Some end in termination. Knapp described five stages that people progress through as they develop any kind of relationship, whether it be a romantic or friend-based one. These five stages make up the first half of his theory, known as the relationship escalation model. The steps include initiation, experimentation, intensifying, integration, and bonding. He built up a hypothetical model for a social upgrade, which causes the relational improvement between two individuals. A study from the communication model shows how Knapp’s relationship model explains how relationships grow, last and also how they end(Communication Models, 2014). The ten different stages are categorized into two interrelating stages. They are Knapp’s relationship escalation model and Knapp’s relationship termination model. These two stages help to understand how a relationship progresses and deteriorates.
My husband and I were involved in quite a few of the ten models. Intensifying: In this stage, the relationship heightens and turns out to be less formal. Individuals will begin uncovering their own data and can analyze the impression on the opposite person. They find different approaches to support a relationship, to fortify relational advancement, spending longer together, posturing for dates, anticipating a relationship responsibility (Communication Models, 2014). At this phase, our interpersonal communication increased as did our expression of emotions and feelings. We are spending more time together-locking our room door so that the kids will not disturb. We ask each other ways we can support and help in the year 2020. Another important concept was Integration – at this stage, the individuals will begin to form their relationship the maximum amount closer than before. In personal life, people may fall crazy in love (Communication Models, 2014) Example – he invited me to go with him to a friends party, we drop off the kids, and just the two of us went out cruising and partying. He posted pictures of us on social media tagged with romantic expression. Another concept is Bonding – during the bonding stage, an individual will announce to the world about their relationship. They make their relationship recognized and can honor their commitment legally. The connection is indefinite and only to end through formal notice, agreements, or death. My husband and I were always together, especially when he is off work. His family called when they saw our picture he posted recently on Facebook,
Additionally, he said, “she is the mother of my children, and I love her the manner in which she is.” Though I did not like the idea of posting the picture because I added a few pounds, but he told me “l love you the way you are.”
Self-disclosure may be a process of communication by which people reveal information about themselves to different people. Self-disclosure is a deliberate act. The data is regularly clear or evaluative and may incorporate musings, emotions, yearnings, objectives, disappointments, triumphs, fears, and dreams, and one’s preferences, aversions, and top picks. An example of disclosure style we used during the week under review is Reciprocity, which is the act of trading things with others for shared advantage, particularly benefits conceded by one another. Reciprocity states that one act of self-disclosure begets another. In the process of our romantic relationship, I disclosure to my husband my intention of wanting to have a baby girl since all the kids we have are boys. He reciprocates by disclosing he wants a girl too but with four boys already, that it is going to be too much. Another process that we both we involved in is catharsis- the process of releasing and thereby providing relief from strong or repressed emotions. In this process, you disclose information in order to get the problem off the heart. For instance, I had to reveal to him how bad I felt over the way I reacted when he sends things to his family without telling me.
A communication climate is the social tone of a relationship. It’s how people interact with one another within their relationships. Every relationship has a communication climate. It can be positive or negative. In a positive communication atmosphere, individuals see others as preferring, acknowledging, and regarding them – they feel esteemed. Messages in the positive communication state, “You are critical,” “You are vital,” “You are the best.”
In contrast, hateful messages construct a negative communication climate and can often found with individuals who feel immaterial or mishandled and hence respond adversely. Examples of negative communication climate include “I do not care about you,” “I do not like you,” “You are not important to me,” “You do not matter.” It is the messages we send that build a relationship’s correspondence atmosphere. It is the manner by which we state what we say over the span of our day by day communications. The communication climate that existed during this period or over the week was positive. We valued each other by showing respect to each other -accept each other for whom we are, including our flaws — trusting each other decision — praising and encouraging one another. We appreciated each other’s efforts in making the relationship work.
Confirming messages can be understood along three dimensions—recognition, acknowledgment, and endorsement. and the range begins with underwriting, trailed by affirmation, at that point acknowledgment. Underwriting implies that you generally find people essential. The
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