If there is one thing that I have learned in my short life, it is that learning is an ongoing process. As a young individual, I mistakenly believed that once school concluded, so did the acquisition of new knowledge. The completion of college gave me the impression that I had attained all available teachings and further education was superfluous. However, as I embark on this stage of my journey, I now comprehend how incorrect my assumptions were. After approximately seventeen years of formal education, I am solely acquainted with a minute portion of human knowledge.
Despite not being in the expected place, I am not discouraged. Life is akin to a football game, persisting until the end. The quest for knowledge, purpose, and truth is constant, serving as my motivation to carry on. Although I do not possess all human wisdom within me, I have grasped life’s most vital lesson: while I inhabit this planet, I have the potential to grow and find happiness through continual evolution.
To continuously grow, I need a goal to strive for. This goal is self-actualization, which means becoming my true self and reaching my full potential (Corey and Corey, 2010, p. 19). The person I want to become is someone who can help others in any way possible. My aim is to achieve this by becoming the most effective human services worker imaginable. According to the Ethical Standards for professionals in human services, it’s essential for practitioners to prioritize personal development in order to provide optimal services to clients. If they are unable to do so physically, emotionally, psychologically or in any other way, they must find alternative resources for their clients (National Organization for Human Services, 2015).
In order to effectively assist others in the field of human services, it is important to prioritize self-care and personal development. This involves acknowledging that dedicating time for oneself does not hinder helping others, but instead improves one’s ability to support them. By investing in my own well-being, I can offer optimal assistance to those who require it.
My objective is to become someone who can provide assistance and inspiration to individuals during difficult periods. To accomplish this, I must cultivate self-reliance and belief in myself. According to Corey and Corey (2010), being autonomous entails the ability to be independent while also being supportive of others. To effectively offer help or motivation, it is crucial for me to establish a solid bond with the person I am aiding while remaining authentic.
In my quest for self-actualization, I recognize the need to confront my bias towards older individuals. Despite not considering myself someone who dislikes the elderly (as evidenced by my previous involvement in a nursing home and enjoyment of the residents’ company), I have realized that I hold negative stereotypes about aging and fears about growing old myself. These prejudices can be harmful to older people. To others, I have always shown indifference towards living a long life, even suggesting that it may be better to die at a younger age rather than facing the challenges of aging.
As stated by the American Psychological Association (2004), “Ageism refers to prejudice or stereotyping directed towards people solely because they are perceived as ‘old’.” This definition emphasizes that many of my stereotypes arise from how I perceive older individuals – always appearing very proper, strictly adhering to outdated practices, failing to keep up with current culture, and having physical limitations.
Throughout my life, I have always had a strong desire to remain well-informed and sarcastic, while also keeping my passion for longboarding. Although the thought of getting older and having to give up these activities is disheartening, I must acknowledge that I can continue pursuing them as long as I want.
Furthermore, I aspire to be someone who takes full responsibility for my own decisions in life. This means being accountable for my personal well-being and understanding how my lifestyle choices affect my body.
Physicians note that many patients prioritize medication and symptom relief over making lifestyle changes, often perceiving themselves as victims rather than taking responsibility for their health (Corey and Corey, 2010, p. 111). To achieve optimal performance, individuals must dedicate effort to maintaining both mental and physical well-being. It is crucial to strive for an active lifestyle and consistently challenge one’s physical limits in order to maintain interest.
I have an excessive fear of stress that is not healthy or rational. My attempts to avoid stress often backfire and make things worse. Like all humans, I experience “eustress,” which is good stress that challenges me to find creative solutions for everyday problems (Corey and Corey, 2010, p. 134). Instead of addressing the problem causing me agitation, I purposely ignore it for as long as possible. This can transform it into “distress,” which is the negative impact of stress that depletes, fragments, and harms us, leading to feelings of helplessness and exhaustion. Distress also has negative physical and psychological effects (Corey and Corey, 2010, p. 134).
Experiencing distress results in feelings of anger and irritability, driving me to address the cause of my stress. However, once I resolve the issue, I don’t often find much joy. Instead, I feel a strong urge to seek solace in comfort food and sleep. It is crucial for me to not overlook my problems but rather confront them promptly to avoid further escalation while I am absent.
One important thing I understand is the need to become more comfortable with accepting assistance from others in order to pursue a profession centered around helping others. Within my circle of friends, there is an expectation that we freely share and support each other. However, despite having a strong inclination to care for others, I struggle with expressing my own needs (Corey and Corey, 2010, p. 182-183). While I enjoy giving, I experience guilt when someone offers me something unnecessary and dislike asking for help because it feels like demanding something from others. It is essential for me to recognize that accepting help from others is just as much an act of love as giving it. Nevertheless, my objective remains to give more than I receive in order to make it easier for myself.
In my relationships with women, I strive to be a supportive friend and partner. However, I am aware that I have several negative habits that prevent me from being the ideal mate. Despite knowing that it is unfair to rely on someone else for my happiness or satisfaction, I often blame my partner for my unhappiness in a relationship. It is important for me to find personal contentment and assertively communicate my desires. If the relationship hinders my fulfillment, it is unhealthy. Nonetheless, I tend to avoid asking for what I need and instead expect my partner to meet those needs.
Throughout my life, I have faced challenges in meeting society’s expectations of masculinity. Corey and Corey (2010, p. 228) state that not conforming to traditional male roles can be difficult for men. Despite identifying as heterosexual and displaying traits typically associated with masculinity such as determination and sarcasm, there are areas where I differ from societal norms. For example, I lack assertiveness in social situations, have no interest in activities like hunting or sports which are often considered ‘male’, and sometimes wear clothing that some may perceive as feminine. Additionally, my close friendships with girls bring me genuine happiness; however, this often leads people to assume that I am gay, which is frustrating because it misrepresents who I truly am.
Trying to meet society’s expectations of masculinity has caused me to alter my behavior, which I don’t find enjoyable. This is especially evident when interacting with stereotypical “bros” or extremely masculine men. However, as I embrace self-acceptance, I understand the importance of ignoring others’ opinions and finding happiness within myself. It’s worth mentioning that some men perceive me as gay because they choose to associate with a group of guys at the bar.
“Investigating the origins of one’s attitudes towards sex and the importance assigned to sexuality is crucial. Awareness of one’s position can facilitate decision-making regarding sexual desires” (Corey and Corey, 2010, p. 270). I have never taken the time to assess my views on sex or contemplate the significance I attribute to sexuality in my intimate relationships. Despite actively seeking and enjoying sex, I have always treated it with respect and never used it as a means to harm or shame others. However, growing up attending Catholic schools has instilled internalized guilt surrounding my own sexuality. In order to truly develop as an individual, thoroughly examining my beliefs about sexuality, their underlying reasons, personal desires, and how much importance is placed on this aspect of life is essential.
I have a strong need for free time to feel truly satisfied with my life. However, I often pressure myself to participate in “fun” activities regardless of whether or not I genuinely want to do them. According to Corey and Corey (2010), “Recreation can lose its benefits if we ‘work hard at having a good time'” (p. 307). In general, I enjoy socializing and spending time with friends. But sometimes, I realize that I need some alone time or want to try something different. In these situations, I may choose to skip a party and engage in an activity that aligns better with my current desires. However, there is often guilt associated with this decision because I know how much I typically enjoy these social gatherings. I need to recognize that it’s acceptable to listen to my own desires and act based on what I genuinely want in the moment instead of conforming to preconceived notions of what constitutes a good time. After all, there will always be other opportunities to go out with my friends. Sometimes, what I really need is just watching Monty Python and going bed early.
Throughout my life, I have always measured my status and achievements by the number of friends I have and how often I spend time with them. Although this may not seem important, it makes me see any time spent alone, whether by choice or not, as a personal failure. Corey and Corey (2010) state that “In solitude, we create moments to be with ourselves, to discover our true selves, and to rejuvenate” (p. 316). This idea is something that has never occurred to me before. Even though there are times when I distance myself from others when feeling angry or upset, I have always seen it as a way of avoiding them rather than an opportunity for self-renewal.
Taking time for myself has always been a source of shame and embarrassment. I only desire solitude when my emotions run wild and I fear hurting others or making regretful choices. Embracing and accepting the need for personal time is a lesson I must learn.
During my youth, I had a strong inclination for revenge that required significant effort to overcome and suppress. Despite my best efforts, I would hold grudges for long periods of time over even the smallest matters. My intense desire was to retaliate against anyone who wronged me, regardless of the harm it caused myself. There were instances when thoughts of suicide would enter my mind not only due to sadness but also as a means to cause pain to others. By taking my own life, it would serve as an act of hostility, conveying the message: ‘See what you made me do.’ This action aimed to assert control and exert power by making others suffer for their actions towards me. As a result, I came dangerously close to ending my life solely out of spite towards those around me.
Increase my desire for revenge while also working towards cultivating more compassion and empathy for others. Additionally, I must reevaluate my stance on suicide, acknowledging that there may be circumstances where it is ethically acceptable, but emphasizing the importance of approaching this matter with caution.
Corey and Corey (2010) state that individuals may deviate from their cultural background to form an identity that reflects personal values. Personally, I have not felt a strong bond with my parents due to differing values. As conservative Catholics, they uphold reserved attitudes, emphasize respect for authority and hierarchy, maintain traditional perspectives on marriage, sex, and people of different faiths, and have high expectations for others.
Despite my differences from others, I highly value free thinking, uniqueness, outgoingness, and progressivism. My close friends are like family to me because they share these values. I believe in everyone’s right to determine their own values and be authentic without inheriting the insecurities of past generations.
In the past, I have felt guilty for not meeting my parents’ expectations. However, now I tend to hide or even invent aspects of my life when I’m with them just to make them feel better. But deep down, I have fully embraced my true self and no longer care about others’ opinions, including those of my parents.
Pursuing personal growth can be difficult because it is often challenging to observe or quantify. Determining whether we have truly embraced ourselves or are making progress can be a struggle, leading to doubt and a sense of futility in our efforts to improve. Nevertheless, it is important to recognize that even small steps hold significance as they direct us toward new directions (Corey and Corey, 2010, p. 408). Any activity that enhances our self-perception can profoundly influence our lives and aid us in becoming the most authentic version of ourselves.
