The article Love Marriages with Low Expectations” discusses marriages that reflect low expectations compared to what is considered a ‘Contract Marriage’ by American standards. The changing values and norms of American society are reflected in how people view the institution of marriage.
The outlook of Americans towards marriage differs from that of the Japanese. Unlike Americans, the Japanese follow government and church-directed norms. Recently, American marriages have become a means to obtain a larger tax return, cheaper car insurance, and better financing options for houses. In contrast to this American outlook, Japanese marriages are bound by strict codes of conduct and are considered lifelong vows of love. The Japanese are more committed in their relationships and ensure this commitment through patience known as ‘Gaman’ in their language. Many Japanese women face abuse, infidelity, and shame in their marriages but use patience as a weapon to combat sorrow so that children can be raised properly and families stay together.
On the other hand, marriage ethics in the United States are compromised due to the lack of diligence and patience exhibited by couples, both young and old. Divorce has become extremely easy, just a click away. Unhappy American couples can apply for a divorce through the Internet or get remarried in Las Vegas. Another popular alternative for many young Americans is to not get married at all. Those who choose to get married in America often have liberal views of marriage and are not discreet when it comes to viewing marriage as just a contract.
Though both Japanese and Americans marry to experience love and happiness, their outlooks create differences in consequences. Japanese marriages last longer but have a greater divorce rate. American marriages are carefree and experience changes that reflect the values of what is believed to be ‘cultural relativism’.
Cultural relativism
The book, The Bookseller of Kabul,” sheds light on the differences in marital relationships between American women and their Afghan counterparts. In Afghanistan, men are allowed to have multiple wives, while in the United States, regardless of religious beliefs, polygamy is a crime. Comparing the status of women in both types of marriages reveals that American women emerge stronger due to the marriage laws of their country. If her husband ever attempts to marry another woman, she can easily take him to court. On the other hand, Afghan women must accept another woman into their conjugal life because it is legal to have more than one wife in that country.
So, to conclude, when compared to Japanese couples, the lack of patience is a disadvantage for American couples. In contrast, the same lack of patience and tolerance proves to be advantageous for Americans when compared to the norms of Afghanistan. It is better to be intolerant than degrade oneself by accepting a second or even third or fourth spouse of one’s husband and spend life under the same roof together. Even when the duration of marriage is short, it is better to be the only person in one’s spouse’s life than to be entrapped in a lifelong marriage in which one’s spouse’s love and attention get divided between his other spouses.
Works Cited
Burylin, V. (2008). Marriage – An Emotional Bond of Two Lives till Eternity. Retrieved April 29, 2008 from http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/Marriage—An-Emotional-Bond-of-Two-Lives-till-Eternity/133441
