The Webster dictionary defines discipline as “training to ensure proper behavior: the practice or methods of teaching and enforcing acceptable patterns of behavior. Nowhere n this definition does it condone physical punishment, or say you need to use harsh and malicious strategies to acquire the behavior you seek. Discipline of children should be used in a positive manner, to encourage appropriate conduct, rather than be used as reprimand and physical punishment, because discipline is meant to help teach and guide children to act properly in accordance with the rules. We all have our own definition of what discipline is and its appropriate use. “The word Discipline is derived from the word Disciple, which means the follower of a teacher”(Meyer).
A teacher educates through examples ND guidance rather than punishment. Modeling appropriate behaviors and enlightening children on natural consequences are lessons teachers will instill on their students. “We say we want to teach our children proper behavior and help them develop self-discipline. Yet instead, we have adopted strategies that are the direct opposite of teaching and instead are just clever guises of manipulation and control. ” (Tsarap) Many people believe that the only way to get the response or action they expect from children is through physical discipline and threats.
People who believe this to be the only answer are uneducated and inexperienced tit disciplining children. Discipline, like guidance, should be predictable for children using undesirable behavior. Every action has a corresponding reaction or consequence. Knowing what consequence a child will receive if they hit or misbehave will help eliminate fear of the unknown as well as establish trust in the parent’s and/or authority figure, and they will know what their expectations are. The American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statement concerning discipline encouraged parents to adapt their discipline to the developmental capabilities of the child” (Evans, Savage, and Collar). Remembering that children are capable f various understandings at different ages, and parents need to mirror their standards to the abilities of the child they are working with. The American Academy of Pediatrics reminds us that “parental expectations are higher for 3- year-olds compared with I-year-olds.
Perhaps the greater expectations lead to greater disappointment when expectations are not met and that translates into increased negativity towards the child. ” While parents may feel distressed, disappointed and furious regarding a child’s behavior, it is important to refrain from reacting negatively towards their actions. Remembering that discipline s meant to lead children through positive guidance will help to raise well rounded and compliant children.
Results from a study on parental discipline and affection and Children’s proboscis behavior proved that “the more positive the affect and discipline of the parent, the higher the proboscis behavior of the child: the more negative they are, the lower the child’s proboscis behavior’ (Knife and Palomino). As Knife and Palomino studied children and their parents discipline techniques they noted the impact children’s parents had on their attitudes and approaches to life.
Stating that “disciplinary practices that involve reasoning increase children’s awareness of the consequences of their behavior and are more likely to promote adaptive behavior” (Knife and Palomino). When children are guided in fair and educational methods rather than negative and aggressive tendencies, you will generally obtain the result desired. Furthermore the affects that negative discipline has on children as they mature and grow can be paralyzing to their future. When an authority figure is exhibiting undesirable and hostile behavior while “disciplining” a child, the anticipated affect may be lost to fear and further negative behavior.
This is because many young children mimic heir parents and/or authority figures. From my experience working with children have realized that you receive more of the conduct you are seeking when the students are treated with respect and lead by example. No child is perfect, in fact we will all make mistakes at some point of our lives, being spanked or scorned will only belittle a person, not teach them right from wrong. If a child is disciplined through education and acceptable consequences, children will learn what is necessary or expected of them to and will avoid the undesirable behavior in the future.
Discipline is meant be used as a tool to guide children o live acceptably in accordance with the laws and rules. “When you show your child what appropriate behavior is and provide the security that comes from loving but firm boundaries and expectations, you are laying down the foundation from which he/she will grow to make good choices for him/herself. Child discipline is about how to prevent behavioral problems so that punishment for misbehaver is a rare and unnecessary occurrence. (Lee) Many times parents find themselves in a position of inexperience and uncertainty when dealing with new or undesirable behaviors and what is acceptable and effective discipline. The American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement that outlined “three essential elements for an effective discipline system: 1) a learning environment characterized by positive, supportive parent-child relationships; 2) a strategy for systematic teaching and strengthening of desired behaviors (proactive); and 3) a strategy for decreasing or eliminating undesired or ineffective behaviors (reactive). These three standards help define what appropriate principles of discipline are. Recalling how Webster dictionary defines discipline as “training to ensure proper behavior” these guidelines lay out how to abide by the meaning of spelling. Clinical Psychologist Shuffle Tsarap describes the greatest struggle and apprehensions parents address with her regarding the care and discipline of their children. She describes a conversation she has with parents, and asks them to “analyze the subtext of their sentences what do they really mean when they use the term “discipline”?
If they are really honest, they say something to the effect of, “I want a way to control them” or “l am passed off at my kids and they are going to pay for it,” or “l am so frustrated because I cannot change how they behave. ” And this, I reveal to them, is the reason why disciplinary strategies with our children backfire” (Tsarap). The previous statements are perfect examples of how many parents feel about behaviors with their children. Tsarap describes conversations with confused and fed up parents but leads them to understand that the methods they are using are ineffective and proving to be adverse.
She then goes on to show them more appropriate ways of disciplining children. Opponents of my position argue that the only way to discipline a child is through control, physical punishment (spanking), and manipulation. These parents or authority figures might argue that “their children are more behaved than those hillier whose parents do not believe in spanking. These people feel that “talking” through a child’s discipline issues can only go so far and that spanking (used as a last resort) drives a point home for the child, for it is something they will never forget. (Spanking) One mother and author describes eight reason why you should spank your child listing such reason as “1) Love, 2) you want to be respected, 3) you want to teach them how to make good decisions, 4) you want them to have self-control, 5) you want them to be accountable, 6) you want to set standards, 7) you see strength not weakness, 8) and it works best” (Williams) What She is really saying is that corporal punishment is the only way to teach your child right from wrong, love them, be respected by them, and raise them to be strong individuals.
When parents hit or spank their child to discipline them, they are really teaching them that physical consequences are acceptable in any situation, which you deem undesirable. Many can argue that spanking is a form of Corporal punishment. “Corporal Punishment is Synonymous with “physical punishment. ” It means the intentional infliction of pain on the body for purposes of punishment or controlling behavior. It includes slapping, spanking, tinting with objects, pinching, shaking, and forcing to stand for long periods of time” (Spanking). Rather than teaching our children to be violent through our examples. Arenas need to be able to keep their composure and discipline their child in a positive and productive way. Every parent wants their children to be happy, respectful, respected by others, and able to find their place in the world as well-behaved adults. Nobody wants to be accused of raising a spoiled brat. Fear of judgment and ridicule can skew parent’s approaches in handling discipline with their children. Many times fathers and mothers will use their own arena’s discipline tactics and childhood experiences to determine what they believe are proper discipline methods.
Parents would rather parents rest on their laurels than educate themselves and explore new techniques. Discipline is not physical punishment, the opportunity to express anger at or towards children, or for controlling a child. Meyer states ‘When you punish, you focus on the child and how he/she disappointed you, but when you use discipline you focus on the behavior rather than the child. There are various other factors that go hand in hand with discipline such as communication, self-esteem and confidence” To effectively discipline a child, you do not need to use physical or corporal punishment.