The concept of marriage in modern times is often associated with a loving and voluntary partnership between two people. However, it is important to acknowledge that factors other than love can influence marriages. The meaning of marriage differs from person to person, depending on their economic circumstances, cultural background, and the era they live in. Nevertheless, regardless of these individual differences, the underlying motive for getting married remains constant – people seek security through this institution. This becomes evident when examining various types of marriages and noting the similarities among them. One example is “Arranged Marriage,” which has been historically widespread and continues today. In arranged marriages, couples are matched by others based on criteria beyond mutual attraction. This practice was particularly common among noble families who aimed to strengthen their alliances through unions between their sons and daughters. These arranged marriages sought to merge the strengths of both families and establish a bond where nobility, wealth, and property were shared.
Centuries later, arranged marriages continue to be prevalent globally. These marriages are motivated by parents’ desire to secure a spouse for their children within the same social class, someone deemed ‘suitable’ for them. Similar to ancient times, arranged marriages also serve as an agreement between two families to share their wealth and provide mutual support when necessary. As a result, arranged marriages do not align with the conventional definition of ‘love-marriages’, but rather impose obligations upon the children to fulfill their elders’ wishes. Although these marriages often endure a lifetime, this does not guarantee happiness or compatibility between the couples. Divorce is uncommon since these marriages hold greater significance and purpose beyond the individuals’ relationship. Rather, they serve as a means for both families to safeguard their business and property. Another form of marriage that was previously common and remains in practice today is the “Catholic Marriage.” In this type of union, both parties are free to select their own spouse, making it akin to a love-marriage.
The main difference lies in the fact that couples entering into a Catholic marriage must have religious intentions. According to Catholic teachings, they must intend to form a lifelong, childbearing union. Additionally, those who choose a Catholic marriage for the purpose of serving God face a significant challenge. Unlike regular marriages, a Catholic marriage is considered indissoluble because it is ratified by divine authority, making divorce impossible. This has historically and continues to pose difficulties for couples who later discover incompatibilities, but they willingly accept this risk to fulfill their religious and divine obligations. These concepts are not limited to Catholicism but are prevalent in most religions. Marriage holds moral significance as it signifies societal approval and establishes legitimacy if children are involved. Achieving moral security is crucial for providing stability in the lives of both the couple and their children.
Unmarried couples and those who have children outside of marriage still face criticism and disapproval in today’s society, leading people to feel pressured to get married to meet societal expectations. Marriage provides security in living arrangements and various benefits from society and government institutions. In the United States, for instance, two-parent families receive expanded insurance coverage for healthcare and property ownership privileges. Additionally, married couples have an easier inheritance process compared to unmarried couples when one spouse passes away. These governmental benefits incentivize many individuals to view marriage as a means of achieving security. Economic security specifically emerges as a significant motivation behind modern marriages, as exemplified by the aforementioned examples.Whitehead (year) highlights that many couples recognize the advantages of marriage such as sharing responsibilities, reducing expenses, increasing savings for the future, and raising children simultaneously.
The individuals acknowledge that if one of them becomes ill, the other will offer assistance. If they were unaware of their future reliance on each other or did not desire assurance of constant presence, they would cohabit without feeling the need to wed. This unmarried cohabitation is a recent occurrence in contemporary relationships where both parties have confidence in their financial stability.
Nevertheless, in most parts of the world today, men and women’s economic circumstances are not sufficiently equal to risk foregoing a legal bond with their partner. Consequently, many view marriage as a means to enhance and safeguard their financial standing. In financially-driven marriages, contrary to popular misconceptions about marriage’s essence, love is not vital as the prevailing factor is the economic situation.
This phenomenon can also be observed among individuals, especially men, who lack the financial capacity to support another person and therefore cannot marry.
Every day, we observe films and narratives depicting young girls marrying wealthy older men and boys who cannot marry their loved ones due to economic circumstances. The significance of wealth cannot be underestimated, especially in a modern society where living well is associated with earning and spending as much money as possible. Financial comfort and security take priority over everything else, even love.
However, despite these portrayals of relationships lacking love, it does not mean that such relationships do not exist. When asked what they believe leads to marriage nowadays, the majority of Americans answered: love. On the other hand, non-Americans provided different responses, as mentioned earlier (interviews).
As gender equality advances and education on self-reliance improves in developed countries, the need for financial security decreases. In contrast, in newly developing or underdeveloped countries, traditional societal norms still hold influence. The progress of capitalism and bureaucracy results in individuals being marginalized alongside religious and traditional ideals.
Although people are financially more capable of leading simple lives, and even receive more approval for it, their current need is to fill the emotional gaps caused by individualism. In developed countries today, most marriages are based on love, unlike in the past when religious or traditional reasons were common. However, upon closer examination, it can be observed that love is also merely a personal need and a means of security. Marriage serves as a way for individuals to ensure everlasting love and emotional security in today’s individualistic world. Throughout history, marriage has held various meanings, many of which still persist today. These meanings often have little to do with love and more to do with fulfilling other needs and obligations through marriage. Despite this reality, the prevailing opinion today is not wrong either. Those who cite love as the reason for marriage represent the modern era in which other influences are diminishing, leaving love as the primary motive. “As an institution, marriage has lost much of its legal, religious and social meaning and authority. It has become a ‘couple’s relationship,’ primarily focused on providing sexual and emotional satisfaction for each adult.” (Popenoe)
The evolving definition of marriage has resulted in a rise in divorce rates and a decline in the number of unions. This phenomenon occurs because individuals hastily enter into matrimony solely based on love, only to later realize that their emotions were misguided. In the absence of other underlying factors, they ultimately choose to dissolve their marital ties. People enter into marriages for diverse reasons, including emotional, social, financial, or physical security. They seek a partner who will provide support during times of illness, old age, and life’s obstacles. Regardless of the specific motives behind it, marriage symbolizes a sense of safety that people crave. Matrimony brings various advantages such as fulfilling daily responsibilities, offering material goods and verbal affectionation, providing emotional assistance, and offering guidance. All these aspects contribute to people’s aspiration to wed and find solace in their lives. Contrary to common belief, historically marriages encompassed more than just love; it is only recently that love has become the primary focus for unions. Only a few countries still prioritize love-based marriages as traditional norms have lost influence over time. Despite considering various elements like love itself,it becomes evident that meeting security needs serves as the overarching concept.
Works Cited
- “Arranged Marriage” Free Software Foundation, Inc. 2002. 24 October 2004 http://www.fact-index.com/a/ar/arranged_marriage.html
- “Catholic Marriage” Free Software Foundation, Inc. 2002. 24 October 2004 http://www.fact-index.com/c/ca/catholic_marriage.html
- “Helping Married Families By Expanding Parents’ Insurance Coverage: A Fact Sheet” Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, 25 July 2001, 27 October 2004 http://www.cbpp.org/7-25-01health-fact2.htm
- Interviews conducted with Middlebury College students (November 1st and 2nd) – Noller, Patricia; Feeney, Judith; Understanding Marriage, New York, Cambridge University Press, 2002, Chapter 6
- Popenoe, David. “The Social Health of Marriage in America” The National Marriage Project. 2004. 29 October 2004 http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SOOU/SOOU.htm
- Whitehead, Barbara. “The Marrying Kind: Which Men Marry and Why” The National Marriage Project. 2004. 29 October 2004 http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SOOU/TEXTSOOU2004.htm#Figure%203
