I don’t think that anything brings people together more than mutual hatred, except mutual hatred for each other. I suppose that is why my ex-boyfriends and I still talk to each other, or, I should say, one of my ex-boyfriends, Rob. The other one, Andrew, and I don’t talk at all. I suppose that means we must really hate each other. But the reason we don’t talk is that it still hurts, and that wound runs very deep, I doubt if it will ever heal. The “blues” is losing someone you love and not having enough money to immerse yourself in drink. And so when I had lost Andrew, Cupid sent Rob along, and he paid for the tab. In short, I am convinced that Andrew is heartless and devoid of having any conviction or remorse for his wickedness.
And as for Rob, I am honored to be able to say that, yes, he is my friend, and one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Rob was a Marine. Andrew was in the Army. Their temperaments were just as opposite as the branches of the military they served. Rob was an introverted kind of guy, completely content to sit and read a novel or sit quietly in a theatre.
He wasn’t the kind of guy that liked to be the center of attention or draw the spotlight to himself. Andrew, on the other hand, was the most extraverted person I have ever seen. He was the life of the party, always out and about socializing, and loved all the attention than anyone would be willing to give him. Andrew was aggressive, Rob was passive. Even though they were different, they were a lot alike. Which is why, I suppose, I was attracted to both of them. They both had strong leadership skills and the ability to always make me smile when I was sad, console me when I cried, and amuse me with their humor when I needed to be 03cheered.
On my nineteenth birthday, Andrew called at 12:00AM to sing “happy birthday” to me in a Frank Sinatra style, and Rob telephoned to leave The Beatles “so they say it’s your birthday” at 2:07AM on my voice mail. They each had their differences, but even their similarities had their own flavor. Physically, I would have to say that both Rob and Andrew were enough to put Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp out of business. Rob was tan due to spending so much time on the Florida beaches, with dark hair and big brown eyes and tall.
Andrew was slightly taller than Rob, with dark blonde hair and blue eyes the color of the sea. Being military guys, they could make any girl swoon in their uniforms, and both spent a good deal of time doing PT (that’s Physical Training to civilians) and were in top notch physical condition. As for their relationship skills, I would have to say that Rob had Andrew beat hands down. Andrew was neglectful, would often promise to call, and I would be left sitting by the telephone waiting on a phone call that would never come. Rob was punctual. If he said he was going to call at a certain time, he would. Andrew was often running ten minutes late. Rob was always ten minutes early. When I was sad, Rob was always more tolerant to listen to my complaints. He would sit there quietly listening and then offer his advice. Andrew was less patient. He would sigh, tell me to stop being immature and quickly change the subject. Andrew was one of the most self-centered, conceited, egotistical, heartless people that I have ever met. Rob was benevolent, self-sacrificing, and generous. Andrew lied to me often. Rob was always honest.
Now that I look back on all of it, I wonder why I was ever attracted to Andrew. I suppose maybe at seventeen, I was flattered when someone took an interest in me. By eighteen, my tastes had changed, and I was looking for something more tangible, and for someone that wouldn’t lie to me and cheat on me. And I found Rob, or, he found me. Having attempted romance with both of them and having failed.
I find that now, we are often brought together to occasionally wonder what would have happened if we had done things differently. I know what would have happened. I would have been miserable. I would have been miserable with Andrew because he would have continued to lie to me, to cheat on me, to neglect and ignore me. I would have been miserable with Rob because we were too much alike, both quiet and introverted people, completely content to listen to the other talk.
That is why Rob and I remain friends. We both care about each other, and we both still consider the other to be one of our closest friends and someone that we can love that won’t hurt us. Andrew and I will always be antagonists. Always we will be there to point the finger at the other and point out what we did wrong, and how we’ve hurt one another. But, never do anything by half. If you’re going to love someone, love the person completely; and if you’re going to hate them, hate them until it hurts.
