Late AdulthoodIf I were in such a situation, I would trust that my deceased husband and I raised our children properly and logically enough for them to be able to understand my situation and my plans in life now that a decent period of mourning has been observed. I will explain to them that I will always love their father but I am still alive and I should continue to live my life and see what else is left for me to experience before I too pass from this world.We live in a world where relationships between more mature individuals are not frowned upon and, in fact it is encouraged.
But, because my children are my own and he has his own offspring, it would be necessary for us to ease both sets of children into the new situation to make sure that they will get along. We must treat them as equals but not necessarily adults for they are not quite that yet. For example, we could spend bonding time with each other’s children separately or as a group doing activities that normal families do. Eventually, we could spend overnighters with our broods together in order to get them used to the idea of their respective parent having a new partner.
But, we must both make it very clear to them that neither of us is there to replace either parent. Instead, we are there, to be each other’s companion and, if the child so needs, a confidante to them.I do not believe that, if I were in that situation, I would need my children’s permission to marry because of the simple reason that I am the parent. The older, more responsible individual who already knows right from wrong can be trusted to do what is right for myself.
Just as they trusted me to do what was right for them when I was raising them. What they have to understand is that because of their ages, they will be moving out of the house and possibly out of state in the near future. It would not be right for me to live my life devoid of companionship, love, and care when they have left the family home to lead their own lives. Children who move away from the family home all but forget their parents save for occasional duty visits during days of obligation.
So I should be allowed to start my new and happy life with my chosen partner regardless of whether I marry the person or not. I am an individual with my own needs and rights and I expect them to respect my decision as their parent, friend, and their equal.
