The ways that your mind perceives happiness are interesting in their own unique way. There is one thing everyone wants and that is happiness. There is an issue with this. Is your happiness consisted of what satisfies you or the satisfaction of others? There is a concept discussed in Jonathan Haidt’s book The Happiness Hypothesis called “The Divided Self”. Haidt (2006) himself explains this concept as, “. …I was a rider on the back of an elephant.” (p. 4). This is a very different way of seeing the mind. We are not looking at it from a physical standpoint, but also the mental standpoint. The brain indeed is just one piece of meat in our head, but there are a ton of small connections that could be divided within. This brings up an interesting topic of discussion; does this divided mindset effect our perception on happiness? Our mind does seem to evaluate things in order to make the right choices, but it seems like those choices aren’t always the happiest ones.
Choices, they make things in life happen. Without choices, the human race would just stop and stay still. The goal is to make choices that make you happy in life. The issue with that is not all choices spread the happiness evenly. Sometimes it doesn’t spread it at all. One example of this is directly from my life. I was given a difficult choice of taking an administration duty at my temple or remain in the “training” ranks. The things that went through my head when I thought of it were surprising. My elephant side of the mind thought of all the power I could receive. The fact that I would be one of the youngest admin was an honor. I saw the path to bragging rights and the rule I would have over the younger members. My rider side on the other hand saw all of the things that could and would go wrong if I chose this position. I saw all of the mistakes that I would make. I felt some relief that formal training would be provided. This sounded much better than just being thrown into the job right away. One question that arose from both sides of my mind was; does this make me happy?
I did take the administrative position at my temple. At first I picked the training position and ended up regretting it 10 minutes later. All through my career at my temple, I always wanted to be apart of the administration group. So this opportunity presented that option to me and I wanted to be apart of the highest rank in the organization. I had to think about this decision and evaluate the happiness level. I did not just jump into it without thought like the elephant wanted to. What I did was try to balance the two decisions out evenly. I used what Haidt called cognitive therapy. Haidt (2006) explains cognitive therapy as a way to teach, “…the rider how to train the elephant rather than how to defeat it directly in an argument.” (p. 38). I remembered that concept and applied it to the situation I was in. I had to help my elephant slow down and take things rationally. I had to also think, why was my rider showing fear of going up a postion? Going up was not so bad, but the fear was. I had to let my elephant take and the rider balance each other out. This meant that cognitive therapy didn’t just only apply to the elephant, but the rider also. My rider is controlled by what force, another elephant and another rider. Even though the rider seems as if they are in control, they are not.
Again with decisions people make. I have another important story to share. Another decision was put in front of me. This decision was to either choose UOP or go to Sacramento State instead. Now I had already planned on getting into Pacific, but the amount that I would have to pay meant that a kidney or two would have to be sold. Sacramento State on the other hand was cheaper, but the environment felt tacky and strange. I had to evaluate this happiness dilemma in my head. If I were to give up a good environment where I feel happy for a sad one, I would say no. The financial issues arose within my family. I was given a little bit of money from UOP and Sacramento State. Even though Sacramento State was cheaper, my education was mine. It is not my parent’s say on where I get to go; sometimes a person just has to make his or her own decisions.
Obviously I chose to go to Pacific. I noticed that I haven’t explained how this split mind could cause unhappiness. Lets get a small example into the mix here. The mind is split into two parts, an elephant and a rider. Given my situations above, I was split between two things. Those two things were a happy decision and a sad decision. Now your mind goes to work evaluating these decisions. The decisions will affect everyone in the world in some way. Your task would be finding out what those decisions would do to another person’s happiness. Would your happy decision be interpreted as something bad to another? And how would that make you feel exactly. Would you be happy for that little moment; then reflect on it and realize that you have hurt another person? Haidt (2006) states in his book, “If someone asks you to explain your judgment, you confabulate.” (p. 21). After an extensive Google search on the world “confabulate”, it meant making up memories to explain you and your actions. Your judgment is all in your head. You get asked the question; “why do you act like that”? You aren’t sure how to explain yourself and your actions. So you make things up in your mind. These things that you make up also alter your view on life. You could see a person’s actions as bad, but they could see it as good. How is this explained? People could be raised in a family where eating with their hands is a common thing. You were raised in a family in which you ate with utensils for every meal. Now if you see hand eater in public at lets say Olive Garden eating their pasta with their hands, you will feel something. That something is could possibly disgust. Now why is disgust the first emotion that would go into your mind? It is because you were raised only seeing people eating their food with a knife and fork. Now lets say all of that was a lie in your head. And you just made that up just to have a reason for judging a person. Now apply this little example into everyone. Now you see how judgment effects everyone and how it is made.
All of that is not exactly a bad thing either. Your temporary unhappiness could lead to happiness eventually. Now these choices that you make may not be the happiest ones, but you must learn how to accept it. It is all in the perception of your actions that make it matter. Just like Haidt (2006) said, “Events in the world affect us only through our interpretations of them,” (p. 23). Again with the concept of perspective, our lives are run by it. Now if you looked at a decision that you have made, does it make you happy or sad? The answer should be both since your perspective determines what you feel. It is like getting a cup of your favorite drink. The cup may be filled up halfway and there are two views from it. It will either be half empty or half full. The way to see it half full from half empty is to change your perspective on the cup. This shows the divided mind and how it determines your feelings towards something.
The divided self is an interesting concept to grasp. You see; your mind is not just that single entity that controls your thoughts in your head. It is pretty difficult to explain the diversity that resides in your brain. Your mind is just a bustling city, full of many people. Everyone has a purpose in the city and contribute to a much larger purpose within it. Not everyone contributes to the purpose evenly however. There will be many views on how things could be contributed and that raises a question. Does your mind just like the city see things clearly like you think? There is a division in your mind and that could hinder your happiness. Your happiness could be genuine or not, who knows. Only you could determine what is real in your mind or not.
There might be a way to find your way out of this divided happiness. Even though the divided self seem self-harming, it is not. The reason is that it gives you an evaluation on what decisions you should and should not make. The way to efficiently make your happy decision is to take both into mind and even it out to your liking. Once you have balance you have something called happiness. Now this happiness is something that will not last forever as long as your elephant and rider exist. They will clash, but in the end they will cooperate to go on the best path.
