Anxiously sitting in my desk at school, trying to understand why the puzzle pieces were not fitting together, I then realized my life was about to drastically change. At eight years old a child does not know how to grasp the fact their parents will no longer be functioning as one. I was a typical school girl living a carefree life but did not want to accept that my dad was not in my life like my other friends’ dads were. Even though my dad brought me countless tears, he revealed to me that I needed to value the relationship I had with my mother, learn how to become a dependent individual, cherish the moments with my loved ones, and ultimately make my relationship with Christ more intimate. Learning at a young age to trust that God will never steer me in the wrong direction has molded me into the strong-willed young lady I am today.
In the event of my parents getting a divorce, my relationship with my mom grew tremendously. I realized my mother will love me until her last breath. When coming home from school, I remember my dad not wanting to spend time with me because his priorities were elsewhere. Mom cooked supper and helped me with homework. Experiencing the divorce made me never want to leave her side. For example, every summer my mom traveled to Houston for a work conference. When she left, I panicked and experienced mental breakdowns because I did not want anything to hurt her. From a child’s point of view anything can go wrong.
Additionally, growing up without a father figure revealed that one day I will develop into an independent young lady. For example, when people decide to walk out of my life, I know how to cope with the situation. I have taught myself to let people go because they are not worth losing my inner peace. Nothing can compare the feeling of wanting to jump in my daddy’s arms after a long day of school, but he was not there to comfort me. I love my dad with all my heart because he is my dad, but he has showed me not to rely on a male for happiness. Growing up I longed for an intimate relationship with my dad, but the opportunity never arose.
Also, since all four of my grandparents passed away before I made my appearance in this world, I cherished the moments I had with my loved ones. Aunt Lou and Uncle Bull are close family friends who have raised me since I could crawl. Uncle Bull took the place of my dad and grandfathers. He knew I longed for a bond with my dad, so he made an effort to communicate with me daily. For example, Uncle Bull picked me up from school every tuesday and we went to get snow cones.
Furthermore, my relationship with Christ grew in times where depression completely overwhelmed me. In the beginning, I questioned God and asked him “why me?” As time passed, I realized God would not under any condition bring me to a situation he could not handle. In other words, God is not going to allow me to fight a battle alone. The divorce affected me the most during junior high and I relied on God to fulfill my heart and inner peace. For example, my mom bought me a children’s journal to relieve the pain. I remember writing in my journal praying to God to make sure my dad was safe. At an early age God proved to me joy comes in the morning and to never lose sight of him. Not only did I become a stronger person through Christ, but I missioned to others how his love can heal the brokenhearted. The pain from my parents getting a divorce triggered me to want to dig deeper into God’s word. I wanted to seek God’s plan for my life and learn how life struggles will strengthen me as a person.
In conclusion, even though I was deeply wounded from the decision my parents decided to make, l learned to bloom where God planted me. I allowed my heart to accept that God will open new doors and bring in the blessings I need at the right time. As well as, remembering a mother’s love is never ending.