It was a first day on a Scout camping at Korea Scout Association in Korea in 2009. I was standing in front of the crowd because I am the group representative in Scout. When I was preparing for the opening ceremony, someone catches my ears and eyes while I was preparing the ceremony. His name is Jake, and he is 14 years old who is newly coming into the middle school Scout. He had a deep and smooth voice and asks me where the restroom is.
Just a few seconds, but I can see he had a big double lid eye with long eyelashes. I always wanted to have a boyfriend who has a big double lid eye because I have single lid, small eyes that I have to line my eyes every day to make bigger eyes. I can easily find him when I look at the crowd at the front because he had a well-defined feature and he is taller than other 14 years old kids, he is over 6 feet tall. Also, his hair is slightly lighter than the other students; I think he dyed his hair to golden brown. He had a friendly personality, but manly at the same time because he treated people with the respect.
Most of the middle school boys don’t treat people with a respect because they are immature, but he seems respectful to the people around him. He is definitely attractive to the people, including me. He is always surrounded by the people who like him. I was already falling in love and crush on him, but not only his appearance, but also he was very nice to me during the orientation and he keeps an eye contacting with me and we were smiling at each other while orientation is going along.
I have to take care of the two groups of the freshman orientation and during all the order of orientation, self-introduction, game, and an introduction to Scout lecture, I keep staring at him through the orientation. After the orientation, I did bed check roll call and representative meeting; I was sitting down at the chair in front of a campfire to chill down. I closed my eyes and thinking about a freshman who I keep watching today, and I can hear someone sit next to me and keep watching me. I thought he would be one of the representative members, but when I open my eyes, that freshman was watching me with a bright smile and says “Hi, you are my group representative right? I’ve been watching you the whole orientation, I’m Jake” He didn’t go to sleep after bed check, so I have to give him a penalty but I cannot think of anything but his smile, I have a big crush on him.
We are sitting down at the chair and start talking about basic information each other. We are living in a different city, but in a same district. He wants to be a person who helps a homeless, or an orphan kids. I had a similar dream job that I want to work at the United Nations or a non-governmental organization to help people who are suffering from the disaster. We are addicted to the conversation about our dream and organization which helps the people all over the world.
But soon, one of the representative members come to us and asks why non-representative member is not sleeping, so I tell a lie that we are having a secret talk that I was asking Jake there are no bullying or outsider in the group. I feel so sad that I wish we could talk more, but I have to send Jake back into his room. When I see him back to the room, he said “I wish we could talk more, but let’s talk tomorrow and have a good night sleep” and he stroke my hair. My face is getting blushed again every time when he smiles to me or touch me, so I have to run to my room, to look like my face is blushed because of running.
Second day, I had so many things to do at morning, wake up the freshmen, line them out for breakfast, and hand out the breakfast. I couldn’t see Jake at morning, but I saw him when he takes a leadership class at the assembly hall. When we catch each other’s eye, we are both smiling. At the dinner time, representative members are eat dinner together, but I make a reason that I want to be friendly with my freshmen group members, so I eat dinner with my group, next to Jake.
We made a promise to meet outside at night, after the bed roll check. I was waiting Jake outside and when he came out, we sits at the bench next to each other, we continue talk about our dream, and we look up and see the stars shining in the sky. When before we going back to the room, Jake asks me why I am so nice to him, so I tell him honestly what I am thinking about him, about my heart. “I staring at you ever since I saw you, and I know it is weird and awkward that I like you even day after we met, but I think I like you. I wanted to meet you after the camp.” Jake seems surprised, but he told me that he was thinking same as me, let’s meet after the camp and having a date. I was very excited that I am dating with the guy who is my ideal type of man, and I like the personality of Jake, so I can’t wait to talk more with Jake. We hugged each other and I see him back to the room and go back to my room.
Next day is the last day that we are going back to home after lunch, and Jake and I are in a different bus, so I wanted to say goodbye to him. I feel sad that I cannot talk with Jake late night, but I feel excited at the same time to date with Jake, so I ask Jake his number to contact later, and he gave his number, and I gave my number to him. We hugged each other like we do last night, and get on a bus to go home. Next day, I call number that he told me,but the number wasn’t the right number.
When I call that number and ask for Jake, the owner of the number says he doesn’t know Jake. I thought I remember his number wrong, so I wait for his call or message, but he didn’t call me back after few weeks later after the camp. I feel melancholy because I thought we like each other and I felt like Jake likes me too, but maybe he wasn’t. I could find him and contact him from Facebook but I thought he doesn’t like me like I do, so I gave up. Last few weeks, I feel embarrassed and feel bad about myself that my first love ends with the unanswered love.
However, after few months later, I found his Facebook from my friend’s Facebook; I saw that his relationship status is on a relationship with someone else. I feel calm and didn’t react to him anything, but still I am thinking about him because he was my first love, and I couldn’t find another ideal type of man like him.
