Developmental psychologists have been pondering this question for years and the general trend is to accord total or primary responsibility for a child’s development to the parents. Recently Judith Harris, an ailing mom and home-based textbook writer, attempted to counteract this notion. In an article titled “The Nurture Assumption,” submitted to the Psychological Review she presents a new view, with which I agree, that the development of a child’s personality or character is not as dependent upon the child’s parents as was previously thought.
She argues that other factors, particularly peers, may have a more notable influence on a child’s development. Harris argues that “what parents do [is] nearly irrelevant. ” (Gladwell 1998, section 2 para 6) . She believes that any influence a parent may have in shaping the child’s character is limited to those traits that are passed on in the genes. For far too long, the corresponding influences of nature (genes) and nurture (parental influence) have been considered as equally significant in shaping character. The influence of genetics on human development can never be discounted.
In fact, studies demonstrate that there is merit to the claim that personality differences are partially attributable to genes. Gladwell, in his article “Do Parents Matter? , which discusses Harris’s findings, mentions that “… about fifty per cent of the personality differences among people–traits such as friendliness, extroversion, nervousness, openness, and so on–are attributable to our genes. ” (Section 2 para 2). These same studies, however, would have us believe that the home environment is equally influential in development.
This argument seems groundless when one considers the realities of families with more than one child. Unless these researchers want to suggest that parents demonstrate completely different kinds of attitudes towards all their children, all the time, and that these children are not cognizant of this duplicity, then it would be difficult to explain how siblings raised in the same home develop completely, even contradictory personalities. I have yet to meet a set of siblings, even if they are twins, who have exactly the same or mostly similar personality traits.
Evidently the home environment is not that significant as researchers have not shown a “… causal link between the specific social environment parents create for their children and the way those children turn out. ”(Section 2 para 2). Nevertheless I do believe that to some degree the home environment can be influential on a child’s character. A child living and interacting with his parents must, in one way or another, mirror some aspect of his parents’ personality. Harris herself acknowledges that children learn quickly (Section 3 para 2).
The home environment is, undoubtedly, an opportunity for a child to learn from his parents. Admittedly though, children don’t always follow their parents’ advice. It would be unfair, however, to suggest that parental influences do not at all carry forward in influencing a child’s development. One of Harris’ most powerful arguments, that, even when parents ‘do succeed in influencing their children, those influences very often don’t travel outside the home’ (Section 3 para 2), holds so true. It is a fallacy to suppose that a child demonstrates the same behaviors both in and outside the home.
Our everyday realities point us to that very fact. Harris believes that children often consciously adopt two different, perhaps contradictory personalities for parents and peers. She notes that “… research has demonstrated one thing clearly and irrefutably: a parent’s behavior toward a child affects how the child behaves in the presence of the parent or in contexts that are associated with the parent” (Section 3 para 4). She mentions however, that parental influence is not carried forward in the long run as during adulthood a child’s personality does not usually reflect much, if any parental influence.
All too often I’ve seen where the children of outstanding members of the community demonstrate behaviors that are evidently in contradiction with principles learnt and practiced at home. The most forceful argument that Harris puts forwards is the view that peers are what matter in shaping a child’s personality. It is hard to deny this as true. Leading up to the teenage years and subsequently, a child’s major concern is trying to fit in with his peers. In attempting this, a child mirrors his peer’s behavior.
Harris’ argument on this point is “whatever our parents do to us is overshadowed, in the long run, by what our peers do to us. ”(Section 4 para 3). Parents, therefore, should mostly be concerned about the environment in which their child interacts outside the home among his friends. Studies, Harris has found, demonstrate that “a child is better off … living in a troubled family in a good neighborhood than living in a good family in a troubled neighborhood. ” (Section 4 para 3). Like Harris, I see the influence of peers as a significant factor in shaping a child’s character.
Once a child begins to interact with forces external to the home, the influencing factor of peers could potentially outweigh that of the home. Without a doubt “peers trump parents” (Section 4 para 3). In conclusion, both parents and parents have an influence on a child’s personality development. I firmly believe that peers play a significant role in shaping a child’s character because at certain critical stages a child’s primary focus is in trying to assimilate with others of his own age. Nevertheless the influence of parents cannot be totally discounted.
Child psychologists have long told us that a child begins interacting with his parents from as early as the embryonic stage. With such closeness to his parents in his early years it is expected that they must have some influence on how his future character is shaped. Even so the influence of peers can be argued to be much greater and longer lasting than that of the parents.
References
Malcolm, Gladwell. (1998, August 17). Do Parents Matter? : Judith Rich Harris and child Development. The New Yorker. Retrieved November 10, 2006, from http://www. gladwell. com/1998/1998_08_17_a_harris. htm.
