As of October 9, 2009, there are approximately 123,000 children waiting to be adopted in the United Sates alone (U. S. Children’s Bureau, 2010). My partner and I of 11 years adopted my biological niece. In February 2003 we were awarded permanent custody although we were seeking temporary custody until her mother was mentally stable enough to take her back.
However, the mother was allowed to have supervised visits that continued for two years and then she stopped showing and we have not had contact since. Last year my partner and I legally adopted her and after many trial and tribulations in her young life she is a happy and well adjusted little girl who love princesses, Barbie, and hope to one day marry her best friend Luke. Studies are shown in the direction of non-existence in which a parents’ sexual orientation can not cause any disadvantage to their adopted children.
Findings are presented of a longitudinal study of the sexual orientation of adults who had been raised as children in lesbian families. Twenty-five children of lesbian mothers and a control group of 21 children of heterosexual single mothers were first seen at age 9. 5 years on average, and again at age 23. 5 years on average”. (Golombok & Tasker, 1996) Even though children are open to the elements to a single sexuality, children need role models.
Census 2000, the National Survey of Family Growth (2002), and the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (2004) A parents’ sexual orientation is not known to have caused any disadvantage to their adoptive children. Children raised in a single-parent family are at a disadvantage of poverty because there is not a second parent to help care and provide extra attention that only one parent can give. The studies are vague because none have been found. A parent’s undisclosed sexual conduct, even if not in favor of the law, does not create an idea of unfitness.
However, what can create an unfit parent would be evidence of abuse whether emotionally or physically, substance abuse, or sexual misconduct against the child. No evidence to support children of gay parents will adopt the gay lifestyle. A child raised in a homosexual family is no more likely of becoming a homosexual than those raised in a heterosexual family. At present, there are not enough heterosexual married couples willing to adopt and many have troubled pasts. Pedophilia is a hundred times greater to happen with a heterosexual, male, or female than a homosexual (Child Welfare, 2000).
In Florida alone there are more that 3,000 children in foster care because of the lack of permanent adoptive homes. In September 1993 a Virginia judge awarded grandmother, Kay Bottoms, two-year-old Tyler Doustou based on the argument that the mother Sharon Bottoms is an unfit mother for the reason that she is a lesbian. Judge Buford Parsons of the Henrico County Circuit Court argued that Sharon Bottoms engaged in unlawful sexual acts against Virginia state law. Tyler’s father supported awarding custody to Sharon Bottoms whom at the time currently lived with another woman.
In June 1994 the Virginia Court of Appeals unanimously overturned Judge Parsons ruling. Judge Sam W. Coleman III stated “A parent’s private sexual conduct, even if illegal, does not create a presumption of unfitness. ” (Judge Coleman, 1994) He also stated that there is not enough evidence to suggest Sharon Bottoms “abused or neglected her son, or that her lesbian relationship… has or will have a deleterious effect on her son. ” (Judge Coleman, 1994)
In April 1995, the Virginia Supreme Court became involved and rejected the court of appeals decision and awarded the grandmother Kay Bottoms ustody. The Virginia Supreme Courts reason, “Living daily under conditions stemming from active lesbianism practiced in the home may impose a burden upon a child by reason of the ‘social condemnation’ attached to such an arrangement. ” (Judge Compton, 1995) Children need role models. A child can find a positive role model in not only the parents or guardians that raise him or her but also those we may find in our community. Teachers, coaches, grandparents, and family friends, just to name a few, can also provide as positive role models.
A child thrives best in a caring setting, despite the parents’ sexual orientation. Although no differences in parenting between heterosexual and lesbian or gay families, same sex parents tend to provide a large number of role models from both the male and female perspective. A positive family relationship is the key to being a parent. An ideal family is a unit that can give and encourage love and devotion. To say a family is ideal is like stating that a family is perfect. There is no perfect family, for every family has a flaw somewhere.
If there was not an imperfection, it would not make one unique or a family unique whether they have a father and mother, two mothers, or two fathers. In culture that has seen the tides of diversity change the ideal family is seen as a family with two parents who will shower the child with love and affection. Data from both the regular and revised foster care file submissions received by October 9, 2009, and data from adoption file submissions received by July 1, 2009, are included in the information below. Missing data are not used in the calculation of percentages.
The vast majority of families in the United States today are not the “Leave it to Beaver” type of families who has been viewed as normal. It has been well established that children can adjust just as well in nontraditional settings. It is not strange to see a child not share the same racial background as his or her parents. At times the children adopted have severe health and emotional disabilities, in which one could consider a challenge. But these children have been kept back after every option has been exhausted. Children of same sex parents tend to be more tolerant and show less prejudice.
LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered) parents are known to be more encouraging and understanding than heterosexual couples. “Honor thy father and mother” uses the support of the Fifth Commandment. Since, the writing of the Bible, the phrase has been loosely defined as honoring one’ parents. Honor can be defined as having respect, to appreciate, and have high regard for others and oneself. Parents are to be honorable to their children to protect them from harm no matter what diversity one seeks. Parents should be the most powerful forces in the lives of their children.
Children are born into the world physically weak, they cannot support or care for themselves. Since children cannot adequately fend for themselves that is where the responsibility of the parent comes in whether a heterosexual or homosexual. All a child asks for is the love and support from a parent. A true parent is one that can respect his or her child’s needs. Appreciate the love that a child can give back into the parent and child relationship. To hold a high regard for whatever the child seeks and longs to do with his or her future, and protect. The United States is found upon Christian beliefs.
With the few that attend church, citizens values remain based on Christian beliefs set forth in the United States Constitution. In reality, it is known that the influential founding fathers were, in fact, Freemasons’, which practices the separation of religion and organization. Freemasons believe there is a “Supreme Being” that to Freemasons is a generic term allowing the beholder, if one will, to believe in their almighty. A Freemason believes the way any person worships is his or her own individual business. According to the Bible, it tells that God made one nation as in the world and that the Church is the Christian nation.
The United States Constitution was created by people not a church, a god, or a king as it states in the preamble “We the people…” If one would read the documents our founding fathers wrote it is obvious their meaning is to build a government that is free from religious power that people are free to worship as one sees fit. The founding fathers did believe that faith was important as a nation. Also, the founding fathers had seen the unrestrained behavior and abuse in the earlier period when government and religion tried to become one.
The founding fathers sought to keep away from that so the citizens of the United States of America would be able to worship in a way that one would see fit, not in a way the government dictated. Although children are open to the elements to a single sexuality, the United States is found upon Christian beliefs and children need role models. But most important, no studies have found a parents’ sexual orientation to have caused any disadvantage to their adopted children. Children are so vulnerable and susceptible to violence and poverty.
Is it any wonder why so many children are depressed and suicidal? The children are asking for the same effects we as adults are in these United States of America, the freedom to be loved by one an all. If we indeed are a united nation then why does, it seem, we turn people away for being themselves? Are we not a nation that is the so-called “melting pot,” in which everyone is accepted no matter what race, nationality, or culture one comes from? The Statue of Liberty was not donated to the United Sates of America so that we can turn away the millions of immigrants for being different.
So I ask, are we as a nation going to let approximately 123,000 children go without a stable home and much deserved love because we allow the views of sexual orientation stand in the way?
