Core self-evaluation – It is how one perceives his image, positively or negatively. It is how one person feels and thinks about himself that affects the way he acts as well as discovering its talents. It identifies the underlying personality attributes.
Example: A person who has a low self-esteem but intelligent. When she participates in a contest with talented and intelligent participants she never expects to win, but fortunately she wins. Her morale is boosted and she thinks that she has the ability and can compete and be better than them.
Emotional intelligence – It concerns with knowing one’s emotion for people — a better pilot of their lives and they can manage their emotions to be able to cope up with life adversities faster. They would know how to motivate themselves and have self-control and not to act impulsively. In return, empathic sensitivity by recognizing emotions of other people and a better emotion-handling would help solve conflicts.
Example: Two drivers in a road accident. One driver is impulsive and the other knows how to control himself and has the ability to calm distressing emotions. With this, they would have a harmonious talk and emotions would be managed with each other compare to both who have impulsive way of acting.
Attitudes toward change – attitude represents an individual’s like or dislike for an item through judgment. It develops on affect, behavioral change and cognition model. It expresses an individual’s preference for an entity and indication of the intention in verbal manner and cognitively process to form attitude.
Example: Change of work/job. If you have an easy job and shifted to harder one, view or consider it as a challenge. This would help you do better.
Learning style – This is done by visual, auditory and kinesthetic way of acquiring information or evaluation. To learn we depend on our senses to process information around us usually by the use of our senses more than others.
Example: In a seminar: We learn and take information by paying attention to the lecturer through the use of our senses — watch, listen and analyze.
Values – These are ideals that guides or directs or qualify your personal conduct, interaction with others and involvement in your environment. It helps distinguish what is right from what is wrong and informs how you can make your life more meaningful by choosing the right decision.
Example: Early and unwanted pregnancies. Your values would determine or dictate what you would do. If you are a God-fearing and have a high respect for yourself you would not go into intimate relationship that easy, but if your values and concept of intimate relationship is different then you would be adventurous and try it.
Analytical Problem-Solving Model:
- Identify the Problem – identify what it needs to be solved and try to keep it manageable.
- Identify Alternative Solution – help to formulate solution by considering the benefits and costs of each solution. Collective solutions are better than an independent solution.
- Evaluate/select alternative solution – Eliminate all the impractical solutions and choose the best alternative at a certain condition.
- Implement/follow-up on the solution – Formulation of plan of action and implementation of the solution. After implementation, reflect on the plan and evaluate the effectiveness of the solution being implemented, if necessary, make the appropriate adjustments.
Difficulties that occur with each step of Rational Problem Solving:
- Definition of the problem – “what it needs to be solved”. It is normally overlooked by the top level management to define the exact problem. If the problem is not properly identified it may cause a problem for each and every member of the group may have different definition on it. This should have the same definition to possibly find alternate sources in solving the problem.
- Generate all possible solutions – gathering of ideas in groups as different people have different ideas or alternatives for the problem. If not able to explore more solutions, there is a chance not to arrive to an optimal and rational decision.
- Choose the best solution and implement– choosing the best solution. A good assessment and analysis should be applied to be able to choose the best solution both in terms of quality and quantity and implement.
- Evaluate and modify the decision – be able to rank the alternatives and choose the best on it for the improvement of the action taken to suit the situation.
Incubation – is to grow or maintain a thing under specific conditions to promote growth and development. Sustaining those conditions slowly and protectively for development.
Imagination – Ability to form or invent partial or complete images in the realms of elements derived from sense perception of the shared world. It helps provide meaning to experiences and understanding to knowledge and lead to something new.
Improvement – is to enhance or improve in value or quality or be better. It means to make more acceptable or bring it to a nearer standard.
Investment – is an act of putting things into others’ pockets. It is a done to have a future return. It is done by lots of people who are aiming to be first to have invested such things.
Coaching and Counseling – coaching and counseling helps achieve the results we desire. The former is done by giving a constructive feedback to another’s plan and ideas. It allows you to express yourself in a neutral environment and helps you hear how your plans sound when you say them aloud, the latter is giving advice in theory-based process to be able to have alternative.
Eight Principles of Supportive Communication:
- Congruent, not congruent – Respond in an interested manner which shows the understanding on the matter. Attributing own thoughts that is related in the topic, not ideas that could distort with the topic, will give an alternative for understanding the topic.
- Descriptive, not evaluative – Summarizes and repeating back what you heard and deal with the emotion. Formation of judgment and evaluation on the person and problem as he/she speaks would hinder the meaning of the problem, let it finish and convey all the emotions before giving feedbacks.
- Problem-oriented, not person-oriented – the focus should be on the problem not with the person himself/herself. Know the problem and the emotion underlying it for you are able to empathize and can give a sound and unbias response. Emotion towards him would affect the advice that you would give.
- Validating, not invalidating – validating the problem and exact feelings he says will help you reframe your understanding from what you hear. This will help you show the real concern towards him.
- Specific, not global – deal with the specific problem, give example or referencing it to exact experiences so that it will not be out of topic. It is easier to have an alternative drawn when the problem and example is related.
- Conjunctive, not conjunctive – focus on the problem and try to delve into a related story of your own that would still keep the focus on the problem and also to his feeling. Do not give an out of bound or out of the topic comment.
- Owned, not disowned – give owned ideas that would help them brainstorm for a solution. Look the pros and cons before you choose for an alternative.
- Supportive listening, not one-way listening – seek first to understand before to be understood. Listen to what the problem is being discussed to know the important details as well as the emotions and give advice maybe from your own experiences or other’s that is factual.
Listen – asking what is wrong and really listens to the answer. Here, you may hear all their fears, frustrations and other important feelings. Disadvantage is sometimes you get bored listening and urges to give advice even if the one you are talking to is not finished yet.
Reframe what you hear – Summarize and repeat your understanding of what you hear and deal on the emotions they might be feeling. But sometimes, your understanding would make their misery deeper, like wrong choice of word in reframing what you hear.
Ask about feelings – expanding what they are feeling will provide a good emotional release and might be helpful than just focusing on the facts. Maybe it would lead to deeper sorrow if feelings are opened-up.
Keep the focus on them – rather than delving into a related story of your own, it is better to keep the focus on them. You can cite something that happened to you but bring the focus back to them.
Help Brainstorm – Help them come up with ideas by looking at the pros and cons of each alternative after exploring the feelings and details.
Defensiveness – if an individual feels threatened or attacked as a result of the communication, self protection become paramount. It is the unconscious attempt to protect the self from anxiety, either through diversionary or intimidation strategy or distortions of reality. Energy is spent on constructing a defense rather than on listening to be able to cope and that lead to one-sided conversations or emotionally draining situations. Thus, aggression, anger, competitiveness, and avoidance are common reactions.
Disconfirmation – if an individual feels incompetent, unworthy, or insignificant as result of the communication, he/she attempts to re-establish self-worth take precedence. If people are faced with facts against their beliefs, they will be more likely to believe the evidence that wires their beliefs and scrutinizes yet criticize and reject that would disconfirms their own belief. Energy is spent trying to portray self-importance rather than on listening. It is manifested by self-centered behavior, withdrawal, and loss of motivation
- Ferrari, Michel and Sternberg, Robert J. 1998. Self-Awareness: Its Nature and Development. The Guilford Press.