Struggles With Finding The Identity In The Novel The Sand Child By Ben Jelloun

Aristotle once said “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” (Pursey). In the novel, The Sand Child by Ben Jelloun talks about Hajji Ahmed, the father of eight daughters in Morocco, who is frustrated with failing to have a son, so instead he raises the eighth daughter as a boy, naming her Mohammed Ahmed. Told through the different perspectives of storytellers, Ahmed struggles with finding her identity and sexuality in which Jelloun uses poetic styles that makes us reflect on her life. Ben Jelloun uses Surrealism of the discovery of Ahmed self identity through symbolism, juxtaposition of the foiling method, and visual imagery.

First, there are many symbolisms that are talked in The Sand Child. One of the important symbol that are mentioned are the mirrors. Since Ahmed was raised as a boy throughout her life, she avoided mirrors because it is a powerful tool that shows who she is since Ahmed has features of a boy, but sex organs of a girl. Ahmed says “the face, holds up a mirror to me in which I cannot see myself without being overcome by a profound sadness… flattened beneath the weight of that immense sadness” (Jelloun 29). This shows that Ahmed is afraid to find out her true identity since her father raised her to be a strong and dominant figure in the household. Looking at the mirrors, she gets insecure about her appearance, which makes it harder for Ahmed to understand who she is.

Writing about the mirrors gets the reader to interpret more about Ahmed and try to understand what she is going through. When Ahmed found love by marrying a girl with epilepsy name Fatima, she thought that she was going to be happy, but did not. Fatima sees the real Ahmed and both of them are like a reflection of each other. Two broken people desperately wanting to end pain. Ahmed conflict is reflected through Fatima illness, while Fatima conflict is inside of Ahmed’s. She said “successfully reaching her thoughts as if I myself had expressed them… this is my mirror, my weakness; this is what haunted me” (Jelloun 56). After they got married, Ahmed starts to spend time with Fatima and realizes that she is a powerful woman despite her illness because Fatima is not afraid to express about herself even though in cultures like this, women are not allow to. Being with Fatima makes Ahmed questioned more about her identity since she had to act like a man, but surrounded by girls. In addition to, Jelloun uses Surrealism through juxtaposition of the foiling method.

Next, since The Sand Child is written like a lyrical poem that when reading it, looking at the texts are important. One literary device used is juxtaposition through foiling, meaning the comparison of two characters. This book has different perspectives of how Ahmed died, but also tells if she is either a male or female. When Ahmed journal got lost, the third storyteller, Fatuma talks about how Ahmed’s life was and made a realization of how Ahmed found her identity. Ahmed said “I have lived in the illusions of another body with somebody else’s clothes and emotions… I deceived everybody right up to the day when I realized I was deceiving myself” (Jelloun 132). This shows that Ahmed finally realized who she is and reflects on how she is deceiving everybody and herself that she can’t stay a man forever.

The reason that she has not gotten started to find the identity is her father. Raised by him throughout her life, she doesn’t want to disappoint him and when he died, she doesn’t know whether to keep being a man or going back to a woman. When she became Zahra, it made her a new and improved person, describing it as “jubilant, radiant as if the weight had been lifted from my shoulders” (Jelluon 94). Comparing to when she was a man, she was not happy with herself and desperately wanted to be a woman. Running away from home got her to think about it and when she went to a circus and saw a dancer, Ahmed wanted to be that dancer; feeling like a new person and a taste of freedom. Turning into Zahra gave her hope and new beginnings at becoming a woman again. Furthermore, strands of imagery are used a lot in the book and one specific imagery Jelloun is a visual one.

Third, written like a poetic style, Jelloun uses specific words and strands of imagery that are mentioned. One example of imagery Jelloun is visual where Ahmed was going to the bath with her mother and father. She saw a difference between those two, which was important to the story. When she went with her mother, she described what the environment was like by saying “words and sentences flowed on every side, and since the room was dark and enclosed, they seem to be suspended in the steam above the women’s head… I saw some words, slowly rise and hit the damp ceiling… the ceiling was like a writing table” (Jelloun 22). In contrast, when with her father, she said ”the men didn’t talk much; they allowed themselves to be enveloped by the steam and washed themselves fairly quickly” (Jelluon 24).

This shows that Ahmed sees a clear difference when she is with each of her parent. The words on the ceiling is a meaning of the women being able to express how they feel through one another since they cannot do it outside of the bath because they tend to have to listen to their husband, since the husbands are usually dominant in the household. On the other side, the men just mind their own business and did not say anything because it seems like a daily routine for the men to do since they were raised to do that. Ahmed sees this and thinks about what would have happened if she was raised “an ordinary girl…would not have been able to live and accept what my sisters and other girls in this country have to endure” (Jelloun 119) because the women aren’t being accepted for who they are. She also compares of what it means to be born a girl or boy by saying “To be born a boy is lesser of two evils… to be born a girl is a calamity, a misfortune that is left at the roadside where death passes by the end of the day” (Jelloun 131). This shows that in the traditional cultures, it is difficult to be a woman since it is dominated by men, but if Ahmed never became a boy, she probably will still be strong minded, determined, and rebellious. But, if in an alternate world, Ahmed would still be struggling to be a woman since her father would resent and be disappointed in her because he wanted to have a boy.

In conclusion, in The Sand Child, Ben Jelloun uses Surrealism to discover Ahmed self identity by using symbolism, juxtaposition of foiling, and visual imagery. Ahmed’s self identity is one of the most important themes and trying to find a happy ending for Ahmed was challenging since there were many different perspectives that were told by the storytellers. The reader can pick which one is accurate or sounds different. That’s why writing is so unique to do since the writer chooses how a story will end or the reader can create another ending.