Furthermore, the characteristic that makes music description effective, its manageable digestibility, can also be seen in Bernstein’s writing. When talking about what “triads” are and incorporating musical terminology such as “Reveille”, “taps”, and “ mess-call” which would leave non-musician readers dumbfounded, Bernstein handles this issue by providing clear yet emotion packed language as well as visuals, which are all both broken down, clarified, and explained at a pace all can follow. His whole explanation of the song follows this rule (Bernstein 197). An issue that jeopardizes some writer’s efficacy is the over reliance on the audience to fill in the blank spaces in a writer’s explanation. Bernstein avoids this problem because he doesn’t just expect his readers to fill the missing spaces; he does it for them by breaking down the areas where confusion may arise in a manner that allows even those without an extensive music background the ability to connect and understand what he’s talking about, like in his explanation of terms referenced above. Describing is like teaching, you have to level the playing field so everyone, regardless of different learning backgrounds, can equally learn. Now looking back, I can see that my description of Car Radio is lacking in terms of clarification of certain points which could detract from its efficacy.
An example where more elaboration, such as direct citation, would have been a smart move, was when I was referring to the part in Car Radio where the singer sings about his coping mechanism and my analysis of it connecting to the overall theme of the song : “the second number of lines of the first verse shows the last part of the theme” ( Flores). I end just there, and now I can see how some readers could be confused, considering how I do not provide the needed lyrical evidence for my analytical allegations because i didn’t cite the actual lyrics my analysis was based on. As a result, my writing wasn’t as effective as it could have been. If I may also add, which perhaps may come off as audacious of me, considering how I’m comparing myself to an individual who has greater linguistic ability than I, that both Bernstein’s writing and mine do accomplish a final, major component in efficacious writing: getting to the point. A pillar of descriptive writing is its intent on educating readers, and this can be jeopardized if one entertains obscure and pointless over-writing. A writer’s mindset can become derailed and end up besieging the reader with dictionary literary cocktail, which does not assist the reader and can be counter intuitive in their comprehension. I believe that I get to my point on my second to final paragraph where I state how Car Radio is “ an essential public announcement telling thousands of youth with very real” and scary thoughts how “they’re not alone in their “tough situations” (Flores).
My point comes rather late compared to Bernstein’s, which comes literally in the first paragraph: “ Eroica symphony is perhaps the supreme example of that art, and through analyzing, however briefly, we are going to try to understand something of the great mystery in Beethoven’s dialectic: the wedding of simplicity and complexity (Bernstein 195). While I do manage to bring my emotionally charged narrative of Car radio back to objective terms, by addressing a larger audience and my point in my second to last paragraph, I could have used more order in the sense of introducing my point earlier so readers could have continued reading my description with point in mind and in that way, piece all the parts of my analysis together in a more coherent manner, like Bernstein.
In conclusion, comparing my description with Bernstein’s, his is far more effective that mine.This is due to his great ability to break complex concepts in a manner that allows even those without an extensive musical background the ability to connect and understand “Eroica”. He balances objectivity, analysis, and pathos perfectly. His writing is engaging, emotionally appealing, easy to understand, and distinctive. Bernstein does a good job at educating readers on all the major elements of “Eroica”. Writing is an account of how people think. As a medium, it’s intrinsically empathic; it articulates abstract human sensibilities. The more detailed and rich a description is, the better a writer’s writing will approximate the human experience, thereby establishing a connection with fellow minds: accomplishing effective description. In writing, like in music, everyone brings something different to the table, and like art, it takes skill to perfect. So a word of advice to aspiring descriptive writers, we must all premeditate our “strokes” to learn the craft of good effective writing to get the human experience that is music right.
