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The Crucible – John Proctor

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My name is John Proctor, I am the husband of Elizabeth Proctor and he father of my three boys. I am Christian yet feel dissatisfied with the way Rev. Parris runs our church. I feel I am a kind man but do admit to having a temper when provoked. In my opinion I think I have a self-esteem that picks me apart from anyone else in this community, especially compared to the Putnams which obey beyond belief. No, I speak when I should, as when injustice is taking place.

Despite my prideful ways, I would call myself a sinner.

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It wouldn’t be right for me to say I didn’t notice you while working in my household. Yes, I have been accused of being the devil himself. Yes, I John Proctor have respect for myself. Why would lechery and adultery be thrown upon me you ask? Because it is true, and it is because of you Abigail Williams. Words may explain the reasoning for my actions.

My wife, she is so frigid and so distant. It may be that you were there when Elizabeth was sick and paid no attention, no fault of her own, maybe so.

There is an explanation somewhere across my mind. I will go down for my actions. You Abigail, you are the reasoning for my flaws. Attraction so strong, my self-image, yes, these flow beneath my human reasoning. You’re unlikely personality may it be, I am amused I may even be charmed by your naughty antics. Dear Abigail Williams, I apologize to you. For your mind was so young, for I disrupted it. I John Proctor, led you on, the emotional weight, and absence led me to pursue you.

Let it be the fault of my own for not showing you the wrong. For you Abigail, only seventeen and I thirty, I could not resist. So much lust that I have not stumbled upon in so long and there it was, you. No one should have taken the blame but myself. I apologize for setting the word whore upon you, for it was I all along. I had a wife and family, I should have been able to hold back from you Abigail. My family is no longer a family because of John Proctor, me.

All it took was a single shameful encounter to abolish my most prized possession, my self-respect. How could I leave behind the commandment? How could I be responsible for such betrayal to my wife? For I am a man of action, I refuse to leave this place drowning in lies. This was no easy task, yes I stumbled along the way. For I John Proctor am accused of being in a league with the devil? I must be a bad person anyway. I will sign away my soul. My apologies to you Abigail Williams, for you take the place to be my most tragic flaw.

Cite this The Crucible – John Proctor

The Crucible – John Proctor. (2016, Nov 04). Retrieved from https://graduateway.com/the-crucible-john-proctor/

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