Dear unconventional, yet conventional journal,
Today was a pretty messed up day. Do you want to know why? Well of course you do ‘cause you’re literally just a blank paged book that I write in to release my stream of consciousness. Anywho, today was a mess of a day for a number of reasons, and the crazy thing is there were events that took place that basically foretold what would happen and I didn’t get the message.
So, it all started on the Sunday after my birthday. I was attempting to make plans with Armond. I think I mentioned Armond once before. He’s that extremely handsome guy that goes to my former high school that randomly contacted me , but he also raises suspicion because the reason why he contacted me was because my ex-boyfriend (what a waste) told him that I was a “nice girl”, so he should “hit me up”. I don’t know why I didn’t end it right there, but I didn’t, so there really wasn’t any turning back. But yeah, I was attempting to make plans with him, which he shot down by saying he would “be out of town” because he was going on a “college tour”. Lies! I had a gut feeling that he wasn’t telling the truth. It was nothing but a mouthful of lies, but I wouldn’t find that out until later on that week.
We proceeded to talk as normal, even though I felt, no, I knew something wasn’t right. I would ask him him questions like if he liked the campus or could he see himself attending the school (he was “touring” Louisiana State University) and he would answer as if he were actually there! That’s crazy right!? Anyways, my oblivious, naive, can’t read the signs behind would be like, “Wow, that’s great!” or “Dang, that’s crazy!” You know, actually believing what he what he was saying. I would even ask how his family was doing, because he said and I quote, “Yeah, while I’m down here I’m going to visit some family.” Even more lies! Like how could someone be so stupid? Why didn’t I trust my gut and confront him? Well, because I didn’t want to seem like the cliche black girl that society has portrayed black women to be, and that is angry, untrustworthy, and always “going off” on her man suspecting something. I didn’t want to fall into that paradigm, even though I had every right to, but I should’ve at least said something.
Moving on to two days later, I was at Six Flags with my sisters and cousins. It was extremely fun. I mean, I go to Six Flags now and it is a complete and utter dread sometimes, but on that specific day, it was a thrill. Hope (baby sister) and I rode almost every ride. My cousin and I bought numerous treats and snacks. It was great! But as the infamous saying goes, “All good things come to an end.” Whoever came up with that philosophy must’ve really been going through some difficult times in their life. But anywho, like I was saying, my “happy”, “exciting”, “thrilling” day quickly came to a holt once Hope uttered out the words that would turn my day into a whirlwind. I remember it like it was yesterday (it literally was yesterday). She said, “Don’t turn around, girl. It’s Armond”. When she said that, I initially didn’t believe her. He was supposed to be in Louisiana touring LSU and visiting family, but when I turned around and saw the smug look on his face, I knew. I knew that I would have to let Hell loose on his behind. I would yell at him asking him, “Why would you lie to me?”, “Why in the world are you at Six Flags by yourself?”, “Who did you come with?”. I was heated. No, “heated” is an understatement, I was infuriated and betrayed. I would’ve pulled Jazmine Sullivan and bust the windows out of his car. I wish I would’ve had enough courage to do those things, but I didn’t. Once I turned around and saw his beautifully ugly face, I was at a loss for words. He just looked so gosh dang pitiful. Pathetic. You would think seeing the guy that is supposed to be out of town, at a college, with his family would be enough, but once I saw that he was not at Six Flags by himself, I knew that the remainder of the day would be a trainwreck.
When I left from the sight of where I saw Armond and his new girl, my cousins were bombarding me with questions that I honestly did not want to answer. I was way too focused on getting to the destination where I knew the only person that could help me in this situation would be. I was walking fast, thoughts racing.My family continued to ask me questions, and I could hear what they were saying, but the word weren’t registering. I didn’t want to “explain myself”. I didn’t want to “talk”. All I wanted to do was get to Gotham City so I could get to Johnny Rockets and find my best friend so I could tell her what just happened. On my way there, I saw, you guessed it, Armond and the anonymous girl who I believe went to my old school. This time they were kissing! Can you believe that? And when Armond saw me looking at them he smiled and kissed her again! What did I do to him? I didn’t deserve this! I didn’t know what to do, but I did know where I should go, and that was to my best friend
Once I got to Johnny Rockets, I asked for Beyonce (yes, my best friend’s name is really Beyonce). In minutes she was at the front with a look of worry mixed with excitement on her face. I didn’t waste time to tell her the events that took place moments earlier. Let me tell you, once I told her, there was no stopping her, so the actions that took place afterwards was not my doing (but it was, unfortunately). She walked out of Johnny Rockets, without saying a word, leaving me inside. I saw her walk over to Armond ( he was a lot closer than I thought), disregarding the female that he was with. From the restaurant window (Johnny Rockets is a fast food chain) I saw Armond and Beyonce arguing. It looked like it was getting pretty heated, so I decided that I should intervene (I should’ve, I mean I’m the one who told her). Before I could even get out of the door I saw Beyonce slap Armond across the face, the girl mysterious girl said something to Beyonce, and Beyonce began fighting her. I was in awe and not in a good way. I could not believe what I was seeing. “What have I done?” was the question that ran through my mind. When I finally made my way to them, the Six Flags security was pulling up to the scene. Once I saw them, I knew nothing good would come out of it.
All of us (Beyonce, Armond, me, and the mystery girl who’s name was Jurnee) were sitting in the security office. I’ll sum up what happened for times sake. So, basically Beyonce lost her job and was banned from Six Flags, Armond got banned from Six Flags and lost the girls he played, Jurnee was banned from Six Flags, and I was also banned from Six Flags. I had a heavy heart because Beyonce lost her job, and Jurnee got pulled into a situation that she didn’t know about. She wasn’t aware that Armond and I were together, so I couldn’t be mad at her, but I definitely was disappointed with Armond. That’s why today was a messed up day, because the aftermath of all of what happened yesterday is taking a toll on me. Honestly, none of this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t trust my gosh dang gut!
