“The pain she was experiencing, the thoughts that were running through her head, no one knew but herself and now she lies somewhere safe, I love you mum” “No one thought this day would come so soon, not now, not why I was still a child, still learning and still following the path of my journey. Why me? Did I do something wrong? Was I bad? What did I do to deserve this? Julianne sat in the lounge room and tried to get her head around the event that had just occurred during the early morning of what she thought was going to be “just another day”, her eyes smudged with black rings of mascara and her hair thrown back into a messy bun, the tears kept escaping her eyes. She looked weak, pale, exhausted but most of all lost and confused. Not an inch of noise came from the rooms of the house; everyone sat in silence, thinking to themselves, wondering what to say.
Whether to say anything at all, just in case something that was said was wrong or misinterpreted, the only thing to do in a moment like this was be there, support every member suffering from pain, hold them close and let them know you will be there through every step of the way. Time felt like it stood still, the clock just ticking and ticking but nothing happening. If only we did not take time for granted before this had happened and maybe we would know the value of time. “Tick…tock…. tick…. tock…tick…. tock” It was like a time bomb, just ticking and waiting to explode.
I did not want to come to the realization that all of this was real, it was not a dream. “This is my reality…,” she softly whispered to herself. Julianne’s eyes wandered the room back and forth as if she were searching for something that wasn’t there, as if she were waiting for something more to happen. The day started to turn into night and Julianne still sat in the same position of where she had began her morning, people made their way in and out of the house throughout the day, barring Julianne and her family with gifts and much consideration.
However, today she did not care; nothing was going to make her feel any better. It was as if something had ripped her open and stolen her heart because all she felt was pain, hurting and sorrow. Julianne didn’t care what else was happening around her, Her mum was her only thought, wondering if she had said goodbye, wondering if she told her she loved her… just trying to remember anything she had last told her mum.. But nothing. “I could feel the pain building up inside the small room, the faces of the family I love brought down by the damage of grief.
Sob after sob I could hear go in one ear and out the other and that’s when I lifted my head and seen him, dad; crying into the arm of my older sister.. The only time I have ever seen dad cry was… actually never. But today I witnessed it and to be honest I wish I never did beause it broke my heart. ” The incident of the morning’s event kept playing over Juliannes head.. “Joy, I’m going to ring the ambulance. ” “No, I’m fine.. I’ll just rest it off” “Robert I can’t breathe” And that’s when she realized something was wrong, as Julianne layed there waiting for more reactions to happen so she could start to piece together what was going on… ut nothing, just dad frantically talking into the phone. She started to hear loud moaning and heavy breathing, something was definitely wrong now. As Julianne quickly strived my way out to mum and dad’s room, the worried daughter was quickly pushed back into Juliannes own but with the company of her little sister, Jordan. They we were both sitting and anquishily waiting for more detail on what was happening, they both just wanted to comfort their mum; just as she would when they were sick or something bad were to happen.
The girls just wanted to be there… The same memory kept replaying repeatedly like a movie that would skip after a scene and start again. As much as Julianne wanted to forget the more detail she began to remember. But the night grew darker and Juliannes eyes felt weaker, she decided it was time for bed. No longer would she wake up & her mum, Joy would be standing there in the bathroom getting ready for work. No longer would she kiss her goodbye, say hello & hug or tell her “I love you” & see her say it back with a big smile on her face. The only thing she could do was to sit there and talk to an earn, her “mum”…
