Which parenting style will lead to a child becoming successful and stable in life? Many argue about the answer to this question. There are four main types of parenting styles. There’s authoritarian parenting which follows a set of strict rules and doesn’t necessarily nurture the child; apathetic towards their emotions, demanding a sort of blind obedience from the child. Authoritative parenting which takes a more moderate approach; setting high standards, nurtures, and responds to the child’s emotions. Permissive parenting which is reluctant to impose rules and standards, preferring to allow kids to regulate themselves. Finally, there’s the hands-off parenting in which the parent doesn’t involve themselves in much of the child’s life; in serious cases leads to the child being neglected. Out of these four main parenting styles, authoritative parents raise the most successful, well-adjusted children.
An individual’s emotional stability has a lot to do with the way that individual was raised. A child raised by an authoritative parent is more likely to be emotionally stable. They were raised to be high-achieving and also be completely supported by the parent. An authoritarian parent expects the child to never fail, and when they do, there is little to no comforting. They tend to yell more often than other parents, possibly degrading the child so that they can’t fail again. That can cause a child to have psychological issuses. Authoritarian parents would oppose the argument by saying that even authoritative parenting can lead to children with psychological issuses. While this can be true, it may not be the parents that have caused the issue. However, degrading your child can cause those issues. In the memior, Battle Hymn of the Tiger mother, Amy Chua says, “I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent, and pathetic.”(pg.61) Amy Chua is seen as an authoritarian parent. She says these things to her daughter, Lulu. Later on in the book, Lulu says, “I have no friends, no one likes me.” and “I’m ugly.”(pg.173) This shows how Lulu started to degrade herself because that’s what her mother did to her. Children are at a higher risk of becoming emotionally unstable when they are continuously being pushed, and left with little to no comfort, while being degraded by a parent.
According to the article, The Authoritative Parenting Style: Warmth, Rationality, and High-Standards, “The authoritative parenting approach is linked with the most successful child outcomes.” One of the major focuses is finding a middle ground between too much freedom, and being too strict. It reflects a balance between two values, freedom and responsibility. The responsibility allows for the child to mature and organize their lives by doing tasks such as studying, getting good grades, just make to make good decisions overall. The freedom allows them to have a mind of their own; to hopefully apply making good decisions in life. It also gives them a chance to experience how the real world is. Authoritarian parenting would disagree with this tactic. There’s a belief that if a child is granted freedom, the child is being set up for failure. They do not see the point of freedom when keeping them to high-standards and strict rules will ensure that failure isn’t an option. While I can understand the point being made, it’s a bad parenting tactic. When a child doesn’t experience any bad, how are they supposed to function in the real world? They need freedom to be able to deal with disappointment or failure when they come across it when they’re out on their own.
In the long-run, it is the authoritative parents who will have the better relationship with their child. “They have a very warm, encouraging, and supportive relationship with their children, but also set clear standards for their conduct.” According to The Fallacy of Tough Love. This establishes having a good relationship with your child. They will respect you and also have a mind of their own. However, authoritarian parents will disagree that the outcome of the relationship is better. They consider their style as tough love. The article also states, “Love and responsiveness, however, is conditional.” I can understand how they would feel this way because both parenting styles want what’s best for their children and do what they think is best. Despite this argument, it is the authoritative parents who will have the better relationship with their child in the end. They are the ones setting their child up for success and the real world by setting standards but also being empathetic and supportive to the child.
The way a child is raised has an enormous impact on the child’s future. Their emotional stability, how successful they turn out, and the relationship with the parent are three major factors to keep in mind while raising a child.. An authoritative parent covers all aspects that a child needs. The child is supported, nurtured, has rules, freedom, and a set of high standards by the parents. Being an authoritative parent simply provides a healthy balance for a child’s growth and development.