Biblical counseling is a needed tool for helping people with problems such as domestic violence as well as other issues, or problems that they may be encountering within their family. What do you say to that particular person? In the case of the believer that don’t believe like you do, what do you say to them? How should you start the process of counseling to them? Now you have a person that believe, and on the other hand one that don’t believe, there are so many questions that need to answered, and asked in order to be effective in the comforting of the client, and the counselor.
In the field of counseling it is very important to have the ability to listen attentively to the client in order to get a clear view of the way that they see things, and how do they feel. Do they have faith, or do they not have faith, or are they self righteous, how do they believe, what do they believe?
A Christian counselor will also need to have the spirit of discerning. All are factors in helping the counselor to be able to counsel the client effectively. In the book of (Proverbs 12:15), it says ‘ The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he that hearkeneth (hearken) unto counsel is wise.'(KJV) Even the bible condoles counseling for people that need it, we all need counseling in our lives.
People from all walks of life, cultures, race, social status, and different sex, as well as different ages, need Biblical Counseling from time to time. There isn’t a people in the whole universe that can’t use the comfort of counsel. The world, and its life issues that we all are faced with one by one can take us in to areas of our lives that is unbearable for us to bear alone, we need help. Thank the Lord that we do have help by the name of biblical counselors. The reason why there are many people that are going to biblical classes is to become effective in counseling the people in their church that need their help, and so that they can be efficient in their counseling to the people.
Knowledge is about how to grieve, it’s about how to counsel grieving friends. You speak knowledge into peoples’ lives, and it impacts their grief. This is what your mouth is for: The mouth of the wise is a fountain of life. Knowledge is so others can drink life giving words. Doctrine is all about delight, all about how you live, all about how you counsel: ( Kellemen & Macdonald & Viars, 2013, p. 23)
‘Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with counselors they succeed’ (Proverbs 15:22). The bible supports the fact that we need counselors to help us to plan a life that will be free from the things that frustrates us, and that may cause us to go into a traumatic frenzy.
We that are Christians know that the Lord is our greatest counselor, and that his word is the living word of truth, we depend on him for our every day clearance to a life of answers to our frustrating matters. There is healing in counseling through the word of the Lord by his spirit. Having the ability to allow Him to use us by His spirit, and by the discernment that has been given to us. We have the upper hand when it comes to being helpers to others by way of biblical counseling. The spirit discerns the whole body of mankind, it is the author, and the finisher of mankind.
God defines what it is to be a human being, and he describes that in his Word. God knows what is wrong with us, and diagnoses the problem in the Bible. God prescribes a solution to our problems— faith in Christ—- and reveals him to us in the Scriptures.
God authorizes a process of transformation and shows us what it looks like in the pages of the Old, and New Testaments. God has spoken about these realities because he created them, forming them out of nothing. They are not subject to debate. We are who God says we are. What is wrong with us is what God says is wrong with us. There is no solution to our problem, and no process of change other than the one God has provided: (Lambert, 2016, p.17)
The mind: ‘ Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will is.’ (NIV. Romans 12:2). Even for someone to be able to move according to the will of God they have to have a transformed mind.
A mind that has been changed as to how things are seen, how things are received, a total change in the way that we think. The mind is a city of many avenues that can take a turn at any moment, depending on the driver of the thinking. In order to help a person to arrive at a point of a changed mind, or to get a person headed in the right direction to be healed is to get them to see with an eye that can perceive the truth, and that is God’s word, for God’s word is truth.
Biblical counseling not only helps the client but it also helps the counselor which is doing the counseling. The word of the Lord has healing agents in it that once it is opened it has an aroma that goes into the ear of the hearer, and into the eyes of the seer, and the body of the mover. The word which comes through Biblical counseling is a healer of the total man.
Everywhere that it hurt it goes in, and clean it out. We are a people that was born in iniquity, and in sin. (Psalms 51:5). Our life is full of all types of troubles, struggles, and suffering, not only do we need a Savior, but we also need a Saved counselor, we need Biblical counseling. We need spiritual health mentally that will help us to be able to cope with the things that trouble us in a world of turmoil, and strife.
There are many people that are in the church that are suffering from some sort of mental, or psychological disturbance in their lives, they love the Lord, but they don’t understand why they seem to be on this roller coaster, and can’t seem to get off.
These are people that truly love the Lord, and have heard the preacher preach, but still seem to not be able to overcome that thing that continues to haggle them. Some people think that just because they have the Lord in their lives, and that they are doing everything right that it will make everything alright. People wonder why even though they are still doing all right, they still feel the way that they do, they just can’t seem to get over it.
Trouble in the home, on the job, psychologically drained, and all they hear is you need Jesus he will work it out. Well, I am glad to say it, but, the Lord sent counselors to help people to sort it all out.
Domestic violence is one of the key features that is everywhere. It doesn’t matter your race, or your culture, or your social economical life style domestic violence is there, and yes even in the church. Question is, if there is domestic violence in the church amongst the people there, then where can you go?
Well that is a good question that will be answered, there are counseling agencies all around us, a person can go online, and look up counseling services, they can help in finding the right counselor for you whether Biblical or Secular. When it comes to domestic violence certain people that lives in certain rural, or suburban areas are in denial, and always seem to dismiss the fact that domestic violence is not just in a certain area, or culture, or a certain group of people, but, it is everywhere.
Domestic violence affects all that are involved whether they are the receiver, or the culprit, or the person that experience seeing it done to another. More and more people are beginning to stand up against this horrible monster that filters in through different avenues in our lives.
Defining the problem—Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in which a person uses coercion, deception, harassment, humiliation, manipulation, and /of force in order to establish and maintain power, and control over an intimate partner or former intimate partner.
Tactics used—Perpetrators use economic, emotional psychological, physical, sexual, spiritual, and/or verbal tactics to get their way. These tactics include, but are not limited to dictating how their victims dress, the people to whom they can, and cannot relate, what they cannot say, or think, and cannot study, work, and worship. Perpetrators might also refer to victims with such degrading and vulgar terms as ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, and ‘whore’; threaten to kill themselves, their victims, and/or the victims family friends, caregivers, and pets; and destroy items meaningful to victims, such as books, jewelry, heirlooms, photos, and other property.
Scope and prevalence of domestic violence —Domestic violence occurs in all cultures, ethnicities, races, religions, and socioeconomic classes. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS) reports that in 2006 almost one in three women suffered physical abuse in their adult lifetime. This alarming statistic does not include many of the emotional, psychological, and spiritual tactics male perpetrators use to abuse their female victims: (Miles, et al., p. 3, 2011)
Domestic violence does not have a preference to race, creed, religion, community, profession, or cultural, it is a disease that affect all who are subject to it. Depression is a killer to the mental thinking, a person’s self esteem, some even feel guilty because they feel that they may have done something wrong.
First you get in a relationship with the person that you feel is the one for you, so you put your guards down began to live it up. You are happy, living the life of bliss, and joy, you are happy, you feel like a breath of fresh air has blown all through you. You are on the phone talking all times of day, sending love note through text messages, everything is going great, and then after a span of time, you find out that the person that you meant back a while ago is not the same person.
What happen to the person that you meant at the beginning of the relationship? Where are they? where did they go? Now the name calling has started, you are being called everything except a child of God, and a few other things in the course of the relationship.
The abuse gets more, and more intense, you need a way out of this domestic violence situation, but it is not easy. The beginning of domestic violence is like a web that a spider spreads to catch his prey for feasting on when the time is right, and you don’t even see it coming, but all of a certain out of the blue, like a bomb it blows up in your face.
‘Emotional abuse is any use of words, voice, action, or lack of action meant to control, hurt or demean another person.