“Look at me, so pail, weak and powerless. This can’t be me. I used to be so strong, so beautiful. Now, I feel so lonely and so near to my death.
I remember the day of my wedding, how could I even forget that day, the day that I was so foolish to believe its going to end happy. I never did felt what true love was anyway; since the day I was born. Through my life I understood that true love is just another lie, and old tale and which only happens in fairy tales.
I thought I could trust him, Compensyson; my beloved fiancée who jilted me on our own wedding day, left me on the altar,
He was so sweet. All the letters he wrote, every word he said felt so good. I felt so loved. Each word he said engraved in my heart. I understood that every word he said did not come from his heart but his evil selfish mind. Every single man in this wretched world are liars and what they want is not a women’s heart but all her fortunes; all they want to is get all her possessions, her riches. Those devilish creatures only want to hurt a women’s feelings, make her so weak and steal everything she has and destroy every last piece of dignity she has.
At 20minutes to 9 on my wedding day, I received that letter, from a man that I loved so much. He had left me. I was humiliated and heartbroken. I stopped all the clocks in this house at that exact point to learn of my betrayal. From that day I had no purpose to live. Since then, I remained in this decaying mansion, not knowing anything from the outside. I have been shut up in the room not knowing how the world went by until I told him that I wanted a little girl to love and save me from fate. I named her Estella.
Believe this: when she first came, I meant to save her from misery like my own. At first I meant no more. But as she grew, and promised to be very beautiful, I gradually did worse, and with my praises, and with my jewels, and with my teachings, and with this figure of myself always before her a warning to back and point my lessons, I stole her heart away and put ice in its place.
I taught her to break men’s heart. I taught her to break them, rip their hearts into pieces. I even became casting about for boys who could be a testing ground for Estella’s education in breaking the heart’s of men. She is the price and glory for all the pain that I have felt; she is the one to take all the revenge for the pain that I have suffered.
I told Estella to practice on pip, a boy from the forge who wish to seek Estella’s love. I broke pip’s heart. As Estella grew to be a beautiful woman. I saw in Pip’s eyes that he could not resist her; he wanted her. I wanted Pip’s heart to be broken as mine was. I made his love Estella marry another man. I caused him pain and misery. I felt so happy.
She is not my Estella, my beautiful daughter, this is not her. She is so cold and bitter.
The great expectations that I had for her. Is this how made her to be? So cold and bitter? What have I done?
Miss Havisham’s: Estella, tell me, tell me everything, every single word. I want to hear it now.
Estella; Mother I have already told you, I do not want to say no more.
Miss Havisham’s: Why so cold, Estella? Why do want to hide secrets from your mother?
Estella: Is this not how you want me to be? You bought me up for your own selfish reasons? “I must be taken as I have been made. The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me.” Do not expect no more, Mother.