When discussing the idea of motherhood, most of us have the set ideal on what a mother has to be and what kind of things they have to offer to their children and spouse. Some of these ideal personalities that most people expect mothers to have are along the lines of caring,loving, and “happy”. Having this said , many people generally assume that many women have an instant connection with their children from the moment they’re born. Society has helped construct the “norms” on what the idea of a moral mother should be like. Indirectly promoting the idea that there will always be a special tie and connection and it will only continue to be so lovely. By expressing this, many people need to understand that not all women have encountered the same “lovely” experience and great experience during motherhood. Having a wonderful Motherhood experience is not a universal thing even if a pregnancy is planned. The interview and scholarly writing that will be presented in this paper will express a different perspective on motherhood. Every women has their own experience with motherhood, and the woman chosen for this paper will further explain and relate to the contrast between the “ideal motherhood” and a realistic experience of mother.
For this interview I chose to get insight on a distant family friend by the name of Ana. My mother had met her in the (jewish)congregation that we attend to. For this interview she was comfortable talking about her own experience on being a mother and what she has encountered during the years . She is currently a divorced woman with one son who works cleaning houses and office spaces. When discussing her occupation before she had her son she said that she was a teacher in Guatemala and had decided to come to the U.S to find a better environment and have a better future. She said that when she came to New York she had different expectations for her future, and that was until she met her soon to be husband. She herself had always had struggled with depression and had high hopes that she would be able to take care of it better in the U.S because of the better job opportunity and the safer environment. She said she had struggled with this since her early 20’s and she said that it soon got worse once she and her husband divorced. Her son was about 6 years old when this occurred and this forever changed her life considered it gave her even more of an obligation to work and didn’t give her enough time to dedicate to her child.
As discussed in our psychology 210 class, “Motherhood, is not a shared experienced”, indicating that every woman has a different experience depending on culture, surroundings, religion, etc. When we are comparing this idea to the interview, we can see that she didn’t have the “ideal” experience of motherhood. Ana had experienced a different aspect of motherhood . In the interview she had explained how she had expected to have a normal family. Something in relation to the “nuclear family” , which is a husband, wife, and two kids. She emphasized how she knew that she would encounter difficulties in her marriage and in her relationship with her son because none of them were perfect. Yet she stresses that she never expected her family to turn out the way that it did.
The topic of motherhood is often romanticized, Many social media platforms have created this idea of what a mother should be and what experiences they should have once their child is born. The idea of a “loving and happy” mother is projected everywhere, failing to acknowledge that many mothers don’t experience
In relation to the woman I interviewed , she didn’t experience the “love at first sight” effect once her son was born. In many cases women feel a sense of rejection towards their child after their birth, and people fail to realize that this is quite common after a woman gives birth.
Conclusion
The idea of motherhood varies between different cultures, religions, and perspectives. Yet with this paper I am able to express that the idea of motherhood is not universal. Motherhood is both experienced and defined differently. Motherhood is not universal which indicates it is not always associated with positive and loving experiences. The paper emphasize the different aspects of being a mother and what encounter women face and deal with and how that affects their own role as a mother
