In my freshman year,With the admiration to college, I had strived for and adherence to happy home, I came to Anhui University of technology and science. Everything was so nice and new, even though it is not as perfect as I imagine. I could still carry on my discipline habits cultivated in my dependent high school. I still remember day and time, in the doorway, with my case, a shy and slim boy was crowed in the welcoming bus, I was not like an Irish guy in New York actually, though I came from the countryside. In my eyes at that time, college is really a great stage I paid for performance, and I tried to be my best and smart part of myself, but I could not say I’d done a good show. I made a good initial step to my college life; I was seemingly brave and courageous, exactly speaking the first impression to my teachers and classmates was successful.
Then the coming days is military training, that’s really a tough and tired time for me, maybe due to my rebelling character of youngster and the faith to western culture and values, it really conflicted my mind and challenge my personality. Well, now when I look back upon those times, maybe the only significant steps among many trials I’ve made was joining the lemon tree English association, and I played a role as a minister of spoken department.
At those times, I was so ordinary, so ordinary that could be omitted, however in my heart, there was a burning desire for being noticeable. I was so shy that I blushed while I am front of girls, I was so unconfident that I could not speak aloud what I really want to. I was so timid that I force me to get always from the girl I was crush on. Well. .the romance of college to my heart rooted while I met her at the first day of my attending days to the college.
However, I thought that I was so inferior that I did match with her appearance and character, ironically, the truth in the coming days proved that I was very wrong! So wrong that I should not leave her alone, so stupid that, I should have expressed my true feeling to her without any hesitation. Now it becomes the only thing of affection I regret in my campus life, now the only thing I get from her is the diaries I wrote in lonely and sleepless nights and papers of recitation we practiced together!
Time goes go seems never end; I come to the corner of my sophomore year.
Thank my pass to CET4、6,my confidence was regained, that could be the happiest moment of the four year, I became noticed as I wished, I was popular in English corner that I’ve been joining in. everyday was really pretty shine to me, but you know, for a guy achievements are never enough, I tried other exams of certificate to fulfilled my empty life and emotional heart, joined activities, broke though and got out, I was hurt and hit, however I knew it’s worthy.
Everything I was happy with except my blank of affection. When I came across the couples in the colorful and beautiful garden, the anger of jealousy and the depression of heart-acid shed from my bottom mind. Unfortunately, the girl I referred suspended her schooling in our sophomore year, now I still do not know the reason, maybe I will never know, some people say it because of the troublesome the encountered in bother from some disgusting guy. I did not know and I do not know either. In my mind, she is still my first angel I met on the earth. From that affair of unrequited love, I know a truth that shy guy has no girl in the field of emotional battle. My satisfaction and shyness gone with wind from that painfully bitter experience
Then I stepped to the road of junior year, I realized that no money, no honey, so I began to find part time jobs with a great enthusiasms. I still remember the first time that I stand in the vendor market like a beggar to being employed by some parents to be tutor. Luckily, I succeeded in getting one after giving up my so-called face. At those times, I go to English corner oftener, and joined in activities better, one of the most meaningful doing is that I gained the first prize of college debate contest. I learnt the joy of teamwork and the basic skills of public representation. Though I also joined some speech contest in the sophomore year, it wasn’t successful I think.
Every time went to English corner, I would advocated my idea and opinions fiercely, sometimes It attracted some girls flavor, but I know it’s just admire, nothing more that that, let alone love. It seems that I could get a chance of talking with girls but in English corner. It’s really not so good. No money, no honey. The sentence was scribbled in my mind and became my conviction of over maturing attitude to love affaire, it proved that I also missed some chances of in loving with some girls I like, it does not matter too much, at least I was compensated financially. My living quality was improved somehow.
Actually, college girl isn’t as sophisticated as I imagined. College is really a damned place to enjoy romance. I missed but I don’t regret. However, I tried to go out with some girl that I’m not very into. It doen’nt work to be really enjoy the affair. In that summer holiday, I got a chance of internship in a local company, which I got a lot of social experience from it.
My campus life is going to come to the end, the senior year has come, no passion to anything with the yard, no interest to any people with in the area. Only has one goal in mind that finding a decent job to show a new start. For me, the craziness to English still exist, I joined CCTV English speech contest representing our department, and won the second prize, I didn’t come very easy, it’s late but worthy. Anyway, it’s a goal that I’ve already set in my first year of the college.. now I know how to make a girl happy without affection to them, how to move a girl without love them, but only I know that I know the art of flirting and courtship, but lose the courage and passion to love seriously…, a shy boy with a blushing face desappear forever…
Now I’m sitting before the screen and writing down the words to recall the days I had.. I still remember once upon the time that I was … now i work in a american company in developing zone.but i really want to come back it.to enjoy the days that i should have….