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Past Present Future

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    My Past, Present, and Future William L Lyons PSY 202 Steve Dashiell July 30, 2010 My Past, Present and Future I. What things do I remember about my childhood? a. My Family b. My first Girlfriend c. My mother’s accident d. Good times and Bad e. My sister II. What I did after I left High School. a. U. S. Navy b. Tilton Fire Department and Ambulance c. Police department d. Transportation. III. What are my personal, professional and Academic Goals? a. Things I have already accomplished. b. My professional goals that I have already accomplished c. Were my Academic goals will lead me?

    My Past, Present and Future As a very small child I don’t remember too much, but the things that I do remember were seen through a child’s eyes that has made me the person that I am today and I will always have those memory’s with me until my last breathe on this earth. In this essay I intend to show how my childhood and adult life to this point has influenced my past, present and future. By utilizing the adult development theories from this class I also intend on show how they relate to my Life experience and where I am today as an Adult student.

    Its funny how as a child you look at things, as time passes those same child memories become life experience as an adult. It is stated that Environmental assessment is closely related to the impact environments make on people. (Garling, & Evans, 1992). This becomes a reality in time as the years pass. I can remember as a child I seen my Dad as a hard working individual he always seemed to be at work most of the time, But yet as a child I didn’t think that we had much. I didn’t think that we were the poorest people on the block either.

    How wrong I was going to be, as I would realize later in life how much we really had. Dad was a very quiet man and never said much, he was someone that didn’t ever show much affection. You never heard my dad say I love you. Not until he became ill and knew that his life was nearing the end. Dad was never a religious man. He believed in God but didn’t attend church with the rest of the family. Dad found out that he had cancer and shortly after that started to attend church, Dad even was re- baptized and was saved.

    I didn’t know at the time but my father had entered the stage that Erik Erikson stated as being the “Old Age Stage” and Erikson said at that this stage people have insights or wisdom about the cycle of life and the inevitability of death. (Witt & Mossler, 2010 ). Even as my dad neared his last days my mom still continued to do things that tried to save the family money. I thought because my mom would can everything in sight that would fit into a glass Mason jar, like tomatoes, pickles, strawberry and blackberry jam and jelly just to mention a few.

    Just seemed we never had any money to live on. In my eyes as a child it looked as if my mom was always trying to save by the things that she did. Mom made homemade ice cream and would even buy live chickens and kill them in the back yard. I can never forget those chickens running around with no head on. Later mom would clean them and put them in that huge deep freeze that was already full to the top. I would think to myself why in the world is she putting more stuff in a freezer that was full already?

    I found out later in life why mom made sure that she over stocked everything. My grandparents had went through the depression and as little girl my mom had watched my grandmother do the same thing. Mom was being taught to be prepared and be ready for the next depression, insuring that there was enough to last and go around if needed. I have to agree with Parkes & Stevenson & Marris, “Out of this first relationship stems a set of expectations and assumptions which will influence subsequent relationships” (.

    Parkes, M. Stevenson J. Marris, P 1993 p 10). Mom did everything and you could always find my sister Linda right behind her following in mom’s every move. Linda seemed to me she was already grown up into an adult even though she was only five years older than I was. I don’t ever recalling my sister taking time for herself, she was always doing something with mom to help the family out. How did any of us know how important it was going to be that my sister was learning everything she could from mom back then.

    My sister would have such a huge impact on my brother Jim and me in the very near future. My brother Jim and I were also five years apart and he would follow me everywhere I Went. Of course at the time I did not like this little snot nosed kid following me around, but later in life it became a treasure in my memories that I will never forget. I had no Idea that back then what an impact this was having, and what a large input into my life it would be later in the years.

    I lost my little brother in 1982 at age 22 in an accident at my parent’s home. Jim was taking down a C. B antenna and it struck a high power line that ran into the local General Motors plant. Jim was killed instantly. As Erickson’s stated in his psychosocial development theory,” which refers to the development within the social environment in which a person lives, primarily focusing on relationships with other people” (Simanowitz & Pearce. 2003). This had brought back memories of how my relationship was when we were little.

    I was always kind of upset with Jim because he was one of those kids that had that natural athletic ability, Jim could run faster and throw better, do everything better when it came to sports, but the real reason I was mad at Jim most of my childhood life was because every time something went wrong, I always got the blame and in trouble. Mom would say “You’re the oldest you should have known better” Yes she was right most of the time I did no better. I was the middle child and I was always the one that got into trouble even though Jim might have done it first.

    I had a good childhood for the most part, I can’t remember not doing without the things that I really needed as a child. Things like clothes, food, shelter and love from a family. I recall having my army men and play guns and everything that a four to nine year old would have wanted back then. Little did I know that these toys were not making me the person that I am today, it was the things that I did not give much thought to back then that would later be a part of me.

    All I knew was when I came in from playing baseball or football all day, I walked into that house and everything would be clean, and food was being prepared on the stove. Of course I did not know that a clean house and a hot supper was a must for me now. As time passed my army men and toy guns, playing baseball and football all were soon to be pushed aside for the female gender. The female that caught your eye and you just knew it was to be. I can never forget my first girlfriend she was the love of my life the first girl I kissed. I knew that it was true love that Debbie and I would always be together.

    Debbie and I spent the summer together that year,  just doing what kids at that age normally do like go to the swimming pool , swing on the swings at the park,  hold hands while we walked down to get an ice cream at the local store and we did crazy things like catch frogs. As that summer was coming to an end and the school year was about to start, I was to get my heart broken like never before. Debbie came to the house and I could see that she had been crying. Debbie said that she had something to tell me. Her dad just told her that he was taking a new job and that they were selling their house and moving away.

    Not only did I lose my true love Debbie that summer she would be the first person I felt like I had lost for good like someone had passed away. Debbie moved at the end of that summer and I never seen or heard from her until just recently, and she is doing great. I thought that nothing in this world could impact me the way I lost Debbie that day, yet I was soon to find out that again I would be wrong. As a young boy I had heard mom talking to people a bought hormones I had no Idea what a hormone was then, all I knew was that my mom was different and I didn’t like it. I wished that things would change and mom would get back to herself.

    Change they did but not the way that I had wished for. Mom was taking all three of us kids to watch dad play softball one night and we were headed down Vermillion street all having a good time,  I can see it as clear as it was happening right now something hit the windshield of my moms car with a large crash and breaking glass. Mom slammed on the breaks throwing us kids to the floor of the car. I was so scared I didn’t know what had happen. The police showed up my mom was so upset my dad had to takes all of us home. I found out later that an old woman stepped in front of the car that night and that is what I had heard and seen.

    I also found out that old lady had died that night. Mom lost the world she knew shortly after that, something inside her caused my mom to be someone that I did not know at all. Mom ended up in a mental hospital in Kankakee five  hours away from our family. My life along with my family’s life was changing so fast that it seemed like a dream,  Now was the time when my sister Linda was to take on a new role in her life. Linda took over like it was second nature, I guess all that time she was on my mom shirt tail all those years were a bought to pay off. Linda was not only my big sister now she had became my new mom almost overnight.

    Linda did everything for my brother Jim and I. Linda never took time for herself as a young teenager. I could never repay Linda for what she did for my brother and I. Linda ended up taking care of the family for several years while still trying to have some kind of a normal teen age life. Linda never seemed to have those years as a teenager and I often wonder how it affected her later years in life. According Erickson he critically examined the psychoanalytical bias towards people and the world and this had an effect of family and had a impact on a person. (Witt & Mossler p. 6 ).

    Linda spent many years taking care of us and my mom finally did return home after her illness it took many more years for her to return to a normal way of life and by then I was in the late years of high school. I was not the best student by any means I became bored with High School and decided along with a friend of mine Louis that we were going to join that NAVY. At age 17 and just before High Schools graduation Louis and I never seemed to attend class at High School much. Normally you could find Louis, Claude (his twin brother) and I in Champaign at the University sitting in a class checking out the girls.

    This of course always got us in trouble with our parents. I would come home and mom would say “where have you been” I would say In school , well the rest is self explanatory. As time passed we talked our parents into letting us join the US NAVY. Louis and I joined on the buddy system so we attend boot camp together. This took place at Great Lakes Naval Station in Great lakes Illinois. Boot camp seemed like a game to me and I didn’t have many problems for the most part and time flew by. Upon graduation Louis and I were both sent to VP 48 Anti Submarine Warfare Unit at Moffett Field California just located north of San Francisco.

    When we received our orders we both looked at each other and I knew what we were thinking at the same time! That we were headed to a submarine Oh no! Well again as life would have it I was wrong (thank God). The unit we were sent to flew P3 aircraft over the ocean to try and locate enemy submarines; this was during the cold war. Louis did his three years and was honorably discharged; I in turn reenlisted for five more years. As time passed I again became tired of my situation and when it was time to reenlisted I took my honorable discharged and returned back home to Illinois where I was from.

    I wasn’t sure what I was going to do I just knew that there wasn’t any submarines in Illinois. I had to start making some decisions for my future. As luck would have it I had a good friend Butch that was working with the local volunteer fire and ambulance service in my home town. Butch came to me and asked if I was interested in helping the fire department, that because of my cross training as an aircraft firefighter in the Navy I would be an asset to the department. Butch informed me that his dad had made Chief of the department and that he could send me to EMT school (Emergency Medical Technician).

    My thoughts at the times was that this was a good start towards something maybe a new in career. I attended EMT school completed the course and worked for the fire and ambulance department for many years as a volunteer. During the time I was attending EMT class at the local Jr. College I started thinking that maybe I needed to start college and get a degree. I made a decision to start college and pursue a degree in Law  Enforcement. I attended college for over a year and at the same time I had applied for the local Sheriff’s Department. I never would have guessed they would have hired me but lady luck was on my side once again.

    It wasn’t long and I was at Springfield Illinois State Police academy. There I attended a 300 hour course for Local Law Enforcement Officers. I stayed in Law Enforcement for many over 10 years. As time passed I again became unsettled in my line of work and needed something new and different. I obtained my CDL drivers license and started to drive a truck over the road. Things were great I was seeing at lot of the United States like I have never experienced before. There was peace and quiet and I did not have to deal with the public that much. I started to enjoy it more and more every day.

    I made that change and drove for many miles; I have seen almost every state in the country. One thing that I did a lot of over the years driving that truck was look back on how lucky a man I was. Lucky you say, yes even though I have had some bad spots along the way I’m very lucky. I have had the opportunity to do a lot of things that most people could not even think a bought doing or start to do. I have been able to travel places overseas and also see Hawaii and Guam. I was able to climb to the top of a mountain In Adak Alaska and scuba dive in the ocean and seas across the world. All thanks to the time in the Navy.

    I have been a Firefighter that allowed me to become an EMT, a Policeman. Letting me get to understand people and work with some of the finest people in the world, and a Truck driver giving me the look at almost every state in the country and be able to meet and learn from the different cultures we have. Lucky yes I would have to say very lucky. Yet even though I have been able to accomplish several Professional goals in my life as a Chief of Police and a Captain on the fire department, there was something missing, That something I had been looking for many years, my college degree.

    I had quite High School and have always felt that I had let myself down; I also didn’t finish Jr. College. I knew that I had to return and complete my Degree no matter what sacrifices I had to make. To achieve my goals in my degree leads me in several directions. As Erickson explains in his theory that the stage seven: Generativity Versus Stagnation that during middle and later adulthood. Adults seek to accomplish goals that make them feel they have made a difference in the world. (Witt & Mossler p9). It will give me the satisfaction that I completed something and give me the career that I have wanted for as long as I can remember.

    It will also fulfill a need to help people and giving me the opportunity to understand why we do what we do in society, and it will give me the gratification knowing that I finally finished something that I always wanted. There are still times today I look back when I was a child. I can remember much more than I thought. I can say that because of my past, present and the future it has and will have an influence on the person I am. A as a child the clean house, dad never saying I love you, my mom having the breakdown all had an impact. Losing my brother, sister and father.

    I lost my best friend when I lost Jim in 1982. In 2005 I lost a friend, mother and my sister Linda, she was only 51. I then I lost dad in 2007 with him saying I love you don’t ever change. Yes these all had a huge impact on my life My career in the Navy, Law Enforcement, Fire Fighter, Truck driver have also played a major roll. All these along with thousands of other things made me the person that I am. I know that there is still more to come and that life is ever changing. I can face my adversities with confidence that I can achieve all my goals including my degree at Ashford University.

    Garling, T. Evans, G. (1992) Environment, cognition, and action: an integrated approach. (Ashford University ed), NC, USA: Oxford University Press, Incorporated. p 111. Witt, G. A. , & Mossler, R A. (2010). Adult development and life assessment. Retrieved from https://content. sahford. edu/AUPSY202. 10. 1 Parkes, Colin M. Stevenson-Hinde, J. Marris, P. (1993) Attachment across the life cycle. (Ashford University ed) Florence, KY, USA: Routledge, . p 10. Simanowitz, V & Pearce, P. (2003) Personality development. (Ashford, University Ed) England:  McGrawHill Education

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