Although I may seem sturdy, deep down I am as delicate as a leaf that can be effortlessly swept away by the wind.
I reside in falsehood, concealing myself behind a facade of positivity.
Despite my frequent display of happiness and amusement, there might be an underlying darkness concealed beneath this seemingly cheerful façade. It is plausible that the entire demeanor is merely an illusion.
Those who are familiar with me would characterize me as extremely emotional. I possess a tendency to shed tears over even the tiniest matters and occasionally experience anger without any evident reason. It may be challenging for some individuals to comprehend the reasons behind these emotions, as they lack awareness of all facets of my life.
When it comes to my family problems, I usually share them with others. This often results in a repetitive pattern: I will reveal a surprising detail about my family that shocks everyone. They then ask how I am dealing with it, and I casually brush it off, pretending everything is fine. As a result, they assume that the difficult situation my family is going through does not impact me. Naturally, this is the image I intentionally project. I don’t want to burden them with such insignificant matters – or at least that’s my perception.
Even though I desire comfort, I refrain from openly expressing my genuine emotions to others since they may not fully grasp the difficulties I have personally endured. Revealing my inner feelings may not necessarily improve the situation, as it can be difficult when those around me cannot empathize with the unique challenges I have faced.
Before the girl from the planet happy-happy joy-joy came into existence, there was a young child who constantly cried for inner peace. Unfortunately, she never found it. She always desperately wished for the constant twists and turns in life to cease, but they never did. In a society that expects individuals to have specific preferences, she had no choice but to hide in the depths of herself and pretend to be someone she wasn’t. She portrayed a puppet-like facade to avoid burdening others with her insignificant problems, instead choosing to go with the flow. Unlike the desolate child who brought down everyone’s mood with her mournful sobbing, this facade was readily accepted by all.
However, the child is not permanently lost. During the night, when the smiling girl is alone and feeling lonely, the fragile child within her emerges. The smile quickly turns into a frown, and tears start flowing soon after.
Despite possessing a proficiency in language and physical prowess, I have chosen to remain silent regarding this issue. This decision is not rooted in fear, but rather stems from my upbringing that placed importance on self-sufficiency. I faced the internal conflicts that consumed me without seeking support from others, as I grew up without anyone to depend on. My autonomy was not a conscious choice, but rather a mandatory aspect of life that I learned to accept.
This is my life, a story filled with deception.
