The origin of a phrase or saying often requires extensive research, while its meaning is usually well known. This specific phrase is intriguing due to the various interpretations it can have. There are two main debates surrounding its wording: is it ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’ or ‘a friend in need is a friend in deed’? Moreover, there is uncertainty about the subject of the phrase: is it ‘a friend when you are in need’ or ‘a friend who is in need’? If the former interpretation proves correct, then the phrase suggests that someone who assists you when you are in need possesses true friendship.
If the second option is accurate, it implies that individuals seeking assistance will behave in a kind manner to obtain it. Consequently, we are left with four alternatives:
A true friend is someone who will support you during times of need.
A genuine friend is someone who is prepared to assist you when you require help; they demonstrate their support through their actions (‘in deed’).
3. A true friend is indeed someone who is in need.
4. A true friend is someone who is willing to demonstrate their support through actions, not just words. This original definition can be partly understood by examining the documentary evidence as stated below.
Nonetheless, the meaning of this phrase is open to interpretation and can vary depending on the context in which it is first heard. Whichever option we choose initially will shape our understanding of the phrase, potentially for a lifetime. The passionate and conflicting emails I receive on this topic indicate that there is no definitive answer. The origin of this proverb can be traced back to the 3rd century BC, when Quintus Ennius wrote: ‘Amicu certus in re incerta cernitur’.
This translates from the Latin as ‘a sure friend is known when in difficulty’. The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations states that it has been in existence in English since the 11th century. The earliest version I could find is from Caxton’s Sonnes of Aymon, 1489: “It is sayd, that at the nede the frende is knowen.” The morality play Everyman also contains similar lines. The play’s date is uncertain, but scholars believe it was written in the late 15th century. In the play, Fellowship says: “Sir, I say as I will do in deed.” Everyman responds: “Then be you a good friend at need.”
The saying “Prove thy friend ere thou have need; but in-deed a friend is never known till a man have need” was penned by John Heywood in his 1562 book A Dialogue Conteynyng Prouerbes and Epigrammes. It highlights the importance of testing one’s friends before requiring their assistance, as true friendship only becomes apparent when someone is in need. I personally encountered a similar situation where individuals who seemed to be my closest allies turned out to be adversaries when I needed them. This is a widespread phenomenon worldwide. Therefore, what does this evidence suggest about the original meaning of the proverb? Ennius’ initial text lacks clarity, and since it is a later translation, it cannot be considered as the primary source for the English phrase. Similarly, Caxton’s version does not offer any valuable insight.
The Everyman play supports interpretation 2 and is clearer in its intent. Heywood’s verse, although not the original meaning, should be considered as he extensively recorded proverbs in England during the 16th century. It can be concluded that either 1 or 2 was the accepted meaning in 1562. Early texts do not support interpretations 3 and 4, and since they are not widely accepted today either, they can be safely disregarded.
Interpretation 2 seems to have the most compelling argument for being the original meaning of the phrase. According to this interpretation, “a friend, when you are in need, is someone who is ready to demonstrate their friendship through actions”. A search of online resources shows that “a friend in need is a friend indeed” is about twice as popular as “a friend in need is a friend in deed”. Supporters of the latter interpretation may be right, but they will face challenges convincing those who adhere to the former interpretation.
“It’s enjoyable to say because it has a rhyming effect, but I have never comprehended the meaning behind the phrase ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’.”
However, when you find yourself in dire circumstances and require assistance, that is when you genuinely discover who your true friends are. Tasha has proven herself to be an authentic friend by staying with me at the hospital on the night my Father passed away. This gesture meant a great deal to me as being alone would not have been pleasant.
If she is unable to attend a birthday meal due to her busy canoe trip, it is not considered a significant issue.
Having my friend there at the hospital provided me with great comfort when we brought my Daddy in and I was feeling uncertain about my thoughts and emotions. Although the doctor initially reassured us that he would be fine, we later learned that the situation was not as optimistic as it appeared. The doctor recommended that having a friend by my side would be crucial, and fortunately, she stayed with me during this challenging period, which meant a lot to me. Gracie decided not to disclose her recent gastric bypass surgery because it happened too close to my Daddy’s passing, and being in the hospital wouldn’t have been ideal for me.
That was very kind of her. So, why does the saying “a friend in need is a friend indeed” hold true? There are multiple ways to interpret this phrase, and I am explaining one interpretation while acknowledging that it differs from my personal understanding. However, it can be understood that a friend who helps when you are in need is truly a friend. There are four possible interpretations of the phrase. Initially, I interpreted it as “A friend who is in need is indeed a true friend.” However, considering how I explained my situation, the phrase could also be understood as “A friend who helps when you are in need is indeed a true friend” or “A friend who helps when you are in need demonstrates their friendship through action.” Another less common interpretation suggests “A friend who is in need acts to demonstrate their friendship.” Based on available evidence, the most likely meaning of the phrase should be “A friend in need is a friend indeed,” indicating that a helpful friend during times of need proves their friendship through actions.
However, the phrase “a friend in need is a friend indeed” is commonly used, and it would be difficult to change the status quo, so most people include the space. The earliest printed usage of the phrase can be found in Caxton’s Sonnes of Aymon, printed in 1489. It states, “It is said, that at the nede the frende is knowen.” Scholars believe it was used around the same time, although it may have been even earlier since it is listed as from the late 1400s. This usage can also be found in the morality play Everyman, where Fellowship says, “Sir, I say as I will do in deed,” and Everyman responds, “Then be you a good friend at need.” By the 1500s, the phrase was widely used, and a version of it can be found in A Dialogue Conteynyng Prouerbes and Epigrammes, published in 1652. The book includes the following lines: “Prove thy friend ere [before] thou have need; but, in-deed A friend is never known till a man have need. Before I had need, my most present foes Seemed my most friends; but thus the world goes.”
