Contribution to the university of Albany

Essay's Score: C

Grammar mistakes

D (65%)

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A (98%)

Redundant words

D (60%)

Originality

88%

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F (52%)

Table of Content

The world is fast becoming a borderless place.  Cultures, races, beliefs and ideologies are blend together and interact because of the growing advances in communications.  In order to succeed in this world, one needs to be able to adapt to the various cultural differences as well as be able to maintain a certain sense of individual identity.  This is one of the main reasons why I think the University of Albany is the best place for me to cultivate and develop my talents.

Growing up as I did, I feel that I have acquired honorable traits that can contribute to the UCF community.  At the young age of ten, I was enrolled in a military program, the United States Naval Sea Cadet Corps.  The seven years that I spent there were perhaps the most challenging years of my life but they were also the most formative and influential as my tenure at the Cadet Corps taught me many positive qualities such as teamwork, listening skills, public speaking, and leadership.  During the summer, while the other children were playing outside or sleeping in, I was traveling through America learning to put out fires and performing search and rescue missions.  While I may have felt that at such a young age it would have been fun to do things other children would do there was a higher calling for me and my decision to continue on my chosen path has proven invaluable as I was able to develop my leadership skill as well as learned how to accept orders for the good of the team.

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I have also participated in many sports, including basketball, football, baseball and track and field.  As a member of the Wagner Falcon basketball team, I learned the true meaning of dedication and team pride.  There is nothing like being in a very competitive atmosphere to enhance one’s skills and also knowing that there are others on the team who depend on you.  Perhaps most importantly, sports have taught me the value of teamwork and discipline, for without teamwork and discipline nothing great can be accomplished.

I developed social skills as I majored in Law and Politics at Susan E Wagner High School.  I learned how to present myself well in a group setting, and to have an open mind in various political discussions.  I’ve had the privilege of going into prisons and speaking with convicted criminals about social justice.  The most difficult part about visiting these prisons is having to bear the pain of seeing fine individuals, victims of circumstance, spend time in jail instead of being free and developing their potential and becoming productive members of society.  This experience however allowed me to contribute in my own little way to the improvement of their lives as I was asked to speak to them and inspire them to change.  I admit that this has had a great effect on me and my decision to enter the UCF community as I believe that I will be able to learn more and develop my skills at this prestigious community.

While I personally believe that “there is no such thing as a free lunch” and that everything a person has in life must come from hard work and perseverance, I also believe in charity.  I believe in helping others who do not have much in life.  I believe in helping people regardless of their nation, race or creed.  I believe in being a better person so I can best help myself and others around me.  I believe that the University of Albany is the best place for me to turn these beliefs into realities.

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