It implies that in her parents’ opinion, studying and academic aground is of vital importance for her future development . Because of these external standards from her parents, Sammy may have an unrealistic ideal (Hanna, Suggest, & Aerated, 2010). Compounded with the large disparity between her self-description and the hurtful ideal self, her self-esteem is negatively affected (Hanna et al. , 2010). Besides, it is learnt that Sammy keeps comparing herself to the others.
She found herself inferior in every aspect without actually understanding her own strengths, placing herself in the life position of” I am not K, you’re K ” which also contributes to her low self-esteem (Harris, 1969, cited n Hanna, Suggest, & Aerated, 2010). The next problem is related to the question of” Who am I ? “. Sammy cannot recognize her own role in the world with no idea about what she likes and dislikes. Having no aim in her life, she don’t have any plans or schedules to follow but satisfies the demands of her parents without having thorough considerations.
It seems that Sammy enters the state of” Identity foreclosure ” in which she makes a decision prematurely before having a complete exploration or experiment with different roles (Marcia, 1980, cited in Passports & Portfolio, 2012). The precocious choice made is more likely to dishearten the person at some future point (Passports & Portfolio,2012) which is consistent with Sammy situation. In addition to all the foregoing, Sammy has a poor family relationship with her parents. She found her parents so annoying as they only know how to complain and to nag.
This kind of communication always trigger quarrels and this makes Sammy seldom talk to her parents peacefully. Besides, preferring to keep silent to avoid arguments, Sammy loses a channel to express her feelings and emotions which is also detrimental to her mental health. To deal with the first problem, here are some suggestions that can enhance Sammy self-esteem. To begin with, Sammy should evaluate and accept her true potential to have a realistic self-appraisal (Hanna et al. , 2010). According to this appraisal, she can set up an ideal self which is challenging but attainable.
Committing herself to the goal, she may try to design an action plan and to decide the aspects in which she can make improvements (Hanna et al. , 2010). According to the story, Sammy loves to spend most of her time on watching television or surfing the internet aimlessly. In order to achieve the goal, she have o identify and break these old habits and start the new. Although obstacles and frustration may occur during the progress, Sammy should believe in herself and not to give up. Referring to the self-fulfilling prophecy introduced by Morton (1948), our beliefs do influence our actions.
Once the faith in oneself is carried out in his or her behaviors, it brings about a strong confirming thought and therefore self-esteem is enhanced(Hanna et al. , 2010). Going back to the case, Sammy often measures her self-worth based on the facets like academic and sports performance, most of which only promote the Roth in inferiority as she is weak in those aspects compared to the others. In fact, every person in the world has his or her own shortcomings. Sammy should not focus on her weaknesses or limitations but pay attention to her strengths and potential.
Try to write down the strengths in short sentences such as ” I am good at painting ” or ” I am humorous this kind of affirmation, on a list and post it where she will notice it. Although these positive statements are simple, yet they are good therapists in encouraging positive thinking. It is also a method to build self-esteem(Hanna et al. , 2010). Apart from lacking self-esteem, Sammy is also lost in herself as she cannot figure out her own identity. A whole person consists of four developmental areas including physical, mental, emotional and social self(Hanna et al. 2010). To know more about herself, Sammy should involve herself in self-exploration in these four areas. In the physical-self area, she may know more about her body including the physical strength, breathing, limits of balance and flexibility (Prolific Living, 2011). Accepting what is unchangeable of our body, such as appearance and age, is important in this area(Hanna et al. 2010). Moving to the area of mental self, as a student, Sammy may understand more about her learning abilities or thought-processing patterns and more important is the attitude.
The question of” Are you an optimist or a pessimist? ” really matters as it reflects how a person approaches life(Hanna et al. , 2010). For emotional-self, Sammy is suggested to aware of her feelings and expressions. Get to know what brings her frustration and what brings her peace and try to learn the best way to manage the good and the poor moods(Prolific Living, 2011). Last but not least is the social-self. Sammy is required to identify her social status and the behaviors that are part of this status(Hanna et al. 2010). Furthermore, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator(Briggs & Myers, 1962, cited in Hanna, Suggest, & Aerated, 201 0) may also help Sammy to find out her personality and therefore know more about herself. In order to improve Sammy family relationship, the following suggestions may help. According to Rogers (1980), empathy is a key element in healthy relationship which is defined as the ability to experience another person’s perspective(Rogers, 1980, cited in Hanna, Suggest, & Aerated, 2010).
