If a girl’s husband discovers that she is not a virgin when they get married, her family life will never be enjoyable.
“That’s what my mom has been telling me since high school,” I repeatedly heard. Initially, I accepted it as truth. Yet, I became perplexed when I witnessed movies and TV shows pushing the boundaries, when I overheard nonchalant conversations about virginity from boys, and when I learned that my young cousin was currently living with his girlfriend. In due course, I comprehended that my mom was not incorrect; rather, people’s present outlook on premarital virginity or their changed views on virginity had led to this confusion.
In the 1990s, society emphasized the significance of virginity for both males and females. It was deemed sinful for a girl to lose her virginity before marriage. Strangely, if a girl lost her virginity, she would be blamed and labeled as promiscuous while the man responsible received little attention or scrutiny.
Even more pathetically, the girl will blame herself and feel ashamed for lacking self-discipline in this situation. The root cause of this collective complex is the significant gender inequality between men and women. However, nowadays people are not surprised anymore when they come across a non-virgin unmarried girl. In fact, I have encountered numerous female friends who are indifferent towards virginity and support living together before marriage.
The stereotype of the elder generation has also evolved. As stated earlier, my uncle and aunt did not make a fuss when their son started living with his girlfriend. It is evident that as women in China’s society attain high status, they are no longer primarily judged based on their sexual aspect – virginity, but rather on their virtues and intellectual capabilities. In summary, the diminishing importance of virginity in Chinese culture can be attributed to the increasing equality between men and women today.
As a result of the previous customary rule, more women are emancipated and fewer men judge a woman’s value based on her virginity.
