For the past four months I have been in my most promising relationship, yet. But sometimes things go nuts and it feels like there is nil I can make about it. So I thought I would look into out what goes into a healthy relationship. I found a assortment of qualities, but I? ll maintain it simple. Remember the 4 C? s. You must be brave, attention adequate, pass on efficaciously, and be originative. Once you get these down, your relationship will be deemed healthy, by the relationship Gods.
In an attempt to get the better of his fright of rejection, Jonathan Robinson ( 2001 ) , a clinical psychologist and frequent invitee on Oprah, decided to plough right through his fright. He gave his friend $ 50 dollars and told him to maintain it until he came back with 10 rejections from misss. His first effort proved reasonably hapless. His prospective day of the month asked him if he needed an ambulance.
Shaking and perspiration, Jonathan proceeded to inquire her and the following five misss out. With each rejection, he knew more of what to anticipate. Then he got a yes, followed by eight more. He realized the key to get the better ofing one’s fright of rejection was to put it up so that acquiring rejected was seen as a success. If this sounds excessively chilling or hard, you re likely a good campaigner for it. So the following clip you re out, travel for it. What have you got to lose, but a individual, alone life Now you have a day of the month, but how do you do it last? For starting motors you can go on being that brave individual you know you are.
I Date Smart.com ( 2001 ) , a website featuring Shari, a editorialist on love, contains all sorts of information on being a good mate. Work force, you are heroes. Accept nil less from a adult female than being her hero. Another expert writes, Growth demands a impermanent resignation of security. When we become involved with person we have to open our Black Marias to them, doing us vulnerable. It takes an unbelievable sum of bravery, but true love gives you existent felicity in your life.
I care about my girlfriend so much ; I let us go friends for a piece. She needed clip to set to a large move and did non desire the added emphasis of a fellow. I had to be understanding and supportive or I would lose her. Equally hard as it was, I would make it all over once more, if she asked me to. When your particular person’s experiencing down your attitude should ne’er be, I ll come back when you are experiencing better. ? You should be the one to get down the healing procedure ( Ten Ways to Keep Love Alive, 1993, p.114 ) .
I know it is difficult, but if your mate will let it you need to be every bit near as you can. Just being at that place will soothe them. How would you experience if your adult male or adult female came by when you were in a bad temper, but they stayed with you the whole clip. You would likely be grateful, a good temper feeling. Whenever a twosome gets in a bicker, there is normally a dislocation in the communicating procedure. This can take all signifiers. For case you might misconstrue a word, a tone of voice, or even a gesture.
The longer you are with person, the easier it becomes to understand him or her. The errors will non be as frequent and you will be passing more Ts ime truly speaking. One article goes on to state, You should non be afraid to discourse affairs that may make struggle. If feelings of choler or jealousy rise to the surface, keep your cool and acquire them out into the unfastened right away. It is better to state person they upset you and speak about it, than to keep it in until you pop ( Ten Ways to Keep Love Alive, 1993, p.114 ) .
You need to be able to see the other individual’s fortunes excessively. Imagine your twenty-four hours. It went perfect and theirs did non. You have to be understanding and run into them on their degree without being short yourself. You have to be their best friend.
One of my colleagues told me about how her fellow left a trail of Hershey’s Kisses taking to their front door. When she flipped the light switch, nil happened. Her adult male unscrewed all the bulbs! His creativeness made her happy. You could see it in her eyes as she told me all about it. Even small things, like dispersing love notes around can maintain the flickers winging. Remember when you foremost started dating and you had to come up with something new and merriment everyday. I realize some of us wear. T precisely have the originative juices fluxing. There is aid. Consult a Girl.com ( 2001 ) offers these insightful tips:
- Buy a balloon. Blow it up and compose a missive to your beloved with a eager beaver marker. After the ink prohibitionists, send it to your love.
- Copy your face on a transcript machine and direct it with a amusing note.
- Hide post-it notes in a book they read frequently.
It is besides of import to maintain day of the month darks regular and frequent. Personally, I like nature. Here in Indiana, we have the Dunes to portion with our loved 1s. My sister spends clip overlooking the metropolis from the mountains with her hubby. Wherever you are the stars will be above. Drive for a piece, pullover, prevarication on the goon, and bask them. If you make a changeless attempt to regenerate your love for each other, you will ever maintain it fresh.
You ne’er know when you are traveling to go this large universe, so take every good chance you are given. Person is waiting for you and if you keep these four C’s in head, you merely might maintain them! Since you have forgotten them already, I ll pass on them to you once more. Show yourself friendly. Show your caring spirit. Spice it up. Be originative. Don T be afraid. Travel for It. You have got the bravery. I hope I have communicated efficaciously with you. Once you find your one true, give them all of your bosom, all of yourself. After all, you ne’er know when you are traveling to run into them, right.
Mentions
- 10 Ways to Keep Love Alive. ( 1993, February ) . Ebony 48, p. 114.
- Consult a Girl.com. ( 2001 ) . Long Distance Relationships. Consult a Girl.com, p. 1, on the World Wide Web. hypertext transfer protocol: //www.consultagirl.com
- Robinson, Jonathan. ( 2001 ) . How to Get the better of the Fear of Rejection: The Successful Rejection Experience. Relationship-Talk.com, p. 1, on the World Wide Web. hypertext transfer protocol: //www.relationship-talk.com
- Shari. ( 2001 ) . When You Find Love, Don? T Let it Get Away. I Date Smart.com, p. 1, on the World Wide Web. hypertext transfer protocol: //www.idatesmart.com
