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Pain, Loneliness, and Complicated: Motherless Daughters

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    Imagine growing up in a world that does not include mothers. How can adolescent girls grow up without her mom? Here is the story of a girl; her and her mommy basically always had that best friend relationship. Mom always gave her opinion when it came to buying clothes, problems at school, and anything she asked her about. After a long day at school, the girl found out her immigration took her mom that February third morning. After two long, nightmarish weeks, the girl and her mom were reunited; her family one big happy family.

    Although they were reunited, they were only united for a month; her mom got sent off to India to go receive her VISA and come back home legally. She impatiently waits till she can see her mom again in the summer, and when her mom’s first interview rolls around, praying her family will be a one big happy family by September. Unfortunately, the world contains billions of adolescent daughters hat grow up without their mothers, this girl is not the only few. Motherless daughters are scarred mentally, physically, and socially, bump into walls as they as they mature, and how not having positive mother-daughter changes their lives dramatically.

    Motherless daughters have trouble thinking mentally. When losing a mother, at any age, can and will be difficult and painful, “our loneliness and vulnerability becomes painfully clear” (Garson). It is difficult to mourn with the loss of a parent, especially a mother, and the pain becomes obviously clear to the public, even if she doesn’t want the public to know about her personal story. Also, when a daughter has to go through the loss of her mother, it is extremely hard to ignore the issues of maturing.

    In a normal life cycle, girls struggle against their mother’s holding them close to break away and become an independent individual, if the mother dies during this time, the memories of a loving relationship of many years may be reduced to the most memorable fights. There is no chance to say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean those things I said. I really loved you” (Tangney). This mentally scars the maturing child, because the guilt of being mean to their mom will always stay hidden beneath their skins. The feeling of guilt helps with feeling sad, and unable to cope with her loss, especially when Mother’s Day rolls on by.

    Even though emotional pain is clear during the loss of a mother, physical pain is way clearer. Motherless daughters are affected physically. When a daughter is younger than the age of six at the time of her mom’s death, she will grow up having trouble with confusion, and why she was abandoned. She will also struggle with finding trust in relationships (Tangney). As the daughter develops into an adult, she will have trouble finding friends she could trust, and that affects her physically by her closing the doors and not letting people come into her life.

    She will have few or not any friends, and not allowing anybody to help, which can affect her grades in school, and her lifestyle. “You hate your body or are unsure about “being a woman” You have abandonment or anger issues that hurt your relationships You experience social stress – you either try to stay invisible, or you have a compulsion to be in the limelight” (Miller). This will make the daughter unable to communicate with anybody, which may lead to her physically harming herself. If these poor motherless daughters had a positive mother-daughter relationship with an alternate mother figure, it could change their lives dramatically.

    Daughters with positive mother-daughter relationships usually lead to positive life choices, and if motherless daughters have that relationship with a mother figure, it can affect their lives, too. “88 percent of adults say their mother has had a positive influence on them” (Campbell). If motherless daughter find that special somebody that resembles a mother figure, then she will less likely choose negative choices, like getting pregnant as a teen, getting STD’s, getting addicted to drugs, and alcohol. Motherless daughters can find that in anybody, their dad, aunts, and friend’s mom, etc. A healthy attachment between mother and daughter helps to decrease patterns of unhealthy relationships with people and mood-altering chemicals in the future” (Mayeda). When a girl in her teenage years makes just one stupid mistake, it can mess up the rest of her life, but if they had that special bond with anybody, it can brighten up their futures. Not only can having a positive mother-daughter relationship with somebody help them take positive paths, but it will help build relationships with other people.

    When girls don’t have the support of a mom, it changes the way their lives could’ve been by a whole lot. It’s hard to show their emotions, they just want to stay in their little box; they need to spread their wings! Remember the girl from the story, that girl is nobody other than me. Work Cited Campbell, Susan. “The Mother-Daughter Bond | Psychology Today. ” Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. 01 May 2001. Web. 03 May 2010. . Garson, Marc. “Motherless: A Therapist’s Comments on Grief, Guilt and Anger. Whole Family. November 23, 2006, April 16, 2010. . Mayeda, Shannon. “Nurturer, Deserter or Enemy: Mother-Daughter Relationships and Substance Abuse. ” Www. counselormagizine. com. Dec. 2005. Web. 22 Apr. 2010. . Miller, Carna. “Article: How It Works – Missingmother. com. ” HOME – Missingmother. com. Web. 20 Apr. 2010. . Tangney, Paige. “Motherless Daughter and Motherless Daughters Motherless Child–Motherless on Mother’s Day-Seattle King County WA Washington State. ” Www. counselingseattle. com. 2005. Web. 23 Apr. 2010. .

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