In America, approximately 60% of adults continue to approve of physical punishment to discipline children, in spite of compelling evidence that it does not work. Corporal punishment makes things worse and there are other, effective alternatives to spanking. Corporal punishment is the use of physical force with the intention to cause the child to experience physical pain in order to correct or punish the child for their behavior. This includes spanking, hitting, pinching, paddling, whipping, slapping, etcetera. We are not allowed to hit our spouse or even a stranger, so why is it ok to hit a child?
Of the 37 countries worldwide that have prohibited corporal punishment in all settings, including the home, the United States is not one of them. Some of these countries include; Sweden, Germany, Spain, Greece, and Venezuela. More than 100 countries have banned corporal punishment in schools. In the United States, corporal punishment is still legal in 19 states.
While the United States has not banned corporal punishment, approval of corporal punishment has declined over the last 40 years. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics: “Corporal punishment is of limited effectiveness and has potentially deleterious side effects. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents be encouraged and assisted in the development of methods other than spanking for managing undesired behavior” (www.aap.org). While corporal punishment leads to more immediate complaint behavior in children, it is also associated with physical abuse.
This would lead one to conclude that using corporal punishment to discipline children does more harm than good. Many studies have shown that physical punishment, to include spanking, hitting, and other means of causing pain, can lead to increased aggression, anti-social behavior, injury, and mental health problems for children. Corporal punishment in ineffective. It is a risk factor for greater forms of physical abuse and it can negatively impact the behavioral and cognitive development of children. Spanking does not teach or guide the child, it just forces them to obey. Nothing positive can come from physically punishing a child. The child is not learning from the aggression. They are learning to be aggressive. Children who are spanked progressively become more aggressive over time. They are aggressive with their siblings, friends, and eventually with their spouses and children. These children may feel depressed and devalued.
Corporal punishment can lead to lying in children to avoid being spanked. Being physical punished as a child has been linked to mental illness later in life. Spankers breed spankers. Adults who were physically punished as children are more likely to use corporal punishment to discipline their own children. Corporal punishment damages the parent-child relationship. The child will grow up believing that aggression is common in relationships with loved ones. The physically punished child passes on their aggression to their children, who pass it on to theirs.
Currently, no state has a law that explicitly bans corporal punishment in the home. In most states, there are laws with specific language in their statutes on abuse, assault, battery, or domestic violence that make exceptions for spanking by a caregiver. Spanking is parenting technique that reflects more on poor coping skills of the caregiver than on the behavior of the child. Spanking is carried on from generation to generation. There is a spectrum of severity as with many behavior. Anything from a light slap on the back of the hand to holding a child’s foot in scalding water is technically corporal punishment. The American Academy of Pediatrics describes spanking as “striking a child with an open hand on the buttocks or extremities with the intention of modifying behavior without causing physical injury.” (www.aap.org). The American Academy of Pediatrics differentiates spanking from other forms of physical punishment that incorporate the use of an object, target other areas of the body, leave bruises, or red marks that persist more than a few minutes, or involve pulling the hair or jerking the child by an extremity.
The American Academy of Pediatrics lumps physical punishment given out while angry, or with the intent to cause the child pain with these and states that all are unacceptable and should never be used. How do you spank a child without the intent to cause pain? Is that not the purpose of spankers? To inflict pain on the child? Research does not support that corporal punishment is able to be planned or initiated when the caregiver is calm. There are many socioeconomic and cultural factors which increase the likelihood that corporal punishment will be used by caregivers, and that it will be used more frequently.
Spanking is more common in boys and tends to be harsher. As the family’s income decreases, spanking increases and black children are much more likely to be spanked than white children. Spanking is most commonly used to discipline preschool and school aged children, but about 15% of children under the age of one year are also spanked. In poor families, the number is considerably higher, about a third of infants are being hit. Women who experienced physical or sexual abuse, or were exposed to violence in the home, are more likely to spank their infants and to have a positive view of corporal punishment in general.
Just as with older children, infants do not understand the connection between the physical punishment and the undesired behavior. Corporal punishment may stop unwanted behaviors, but it loses its effect over time. In order to achieve the same results, it often must be increased in its intensity, which is part of why it can lead to clear abuse. Spanking can make other forms of discipline less effective when the child is too old or large to be spanked. Corporal punishment has also been linked to decreased receptive and expressive vocabulary. Spanking gives the example that violence solves problems.
Physically punishing a child shows the child that violence is an appropriate way to solve life’s problems. This is also a form of bullying, basically telling the child that his is an effective way to get others to do things your way. Corporal punishment damages self-esteem. When children are hit by the people who are supposed to protect them, the child begins to question, “What’s wrong with me?” Self-esteem is very important and extremely fragile. Spanking reduces the influence you have on your child. We tend to trust and seek advice from the people we trust and those that support and encourage us.
There are many alternatives to corporal punishment as a form of discipline. Changing the approach from one of reacting to undesired behavior to one of planning for appropriate behavior. Look for ways to encourage the child to succeed at positive behavior and promptly reward their attempts. Secure eye contact with the child and give clear, simple instructions. Tell the child what they should instead of what they should not do. Establish a few firm rules that the child can understand. Make sure that the child understands the rules. Repeat the rules often and praise them for obeying them. Be consistent with the rules. If the child needs to be punished more than a few times a day, you may be expecting too much from the child. In order for punishment to work, it must immediately follow the misbehavior. You should not have a long list of punishable behaviors.
The child will continue to misbehave because punishment will seem unavoidable. Choose a punishment that is a natural consequence of the behavior. Listen to the child to find out why they did or did not do something. Help the child to label their feelings with words as early as possible. The nine inborn feelings of: interest, enjoyment, surprise, distress, fear, anger, shame, and disgust. Feelings should be labeled with these words to facilitate tension regulation and add to the transition of a more mature way of handling emotions. Positive reinforcement rewards and praise will enhance the child’s self-esteem when appropriate standards are met. Positive reinforcement is more effective in obtaining long-term behavioral compliance than frightening and shaming punishments. Set a good example for the child. The child wants to be like the parents.
Children identify with their parents, and they will put feelings and actions into words when they see their parents doing this. Who the parents are and how they behave will have a profound impact on the development of their children. Your child will follow your lead. Prevent unwanted behavior by meeting your child’s needs when they are first expressed. With their current needs met, they are free to move on to the next stage of learning. Provide a safe child friendly environment. Think about how you would like to be treated if you were to find yourself in the same circumstances as the child.
Human nature is human nature, regardless of age. Show empathy for the child’s feelings. Even if the child’s behavior seems illogical, their underlying feelings and needs are real to them. Validate the child’s feelings so that they know that you will understand and care, and that they will never be rejected for having any particular kinds of feelings. Meet the underlying need that led to the behavior. If we punish the behavior, the still unmet need will continue to resurface in other ways until it is finally met. Take a time out with the child. A change of scenery, even if it is just a walk outside, can make a real difference for thecaregiver and the child. If we truly want a less violent society, we must stop using corporal punishment to discipline our children.
